Grief Encounters

Anniversaries are something that Sasha & Venetia have spoken about on several episodes of the podcasts so far. They can spark a huge range of emotion, and often bring back a lot of sad and difficult memories. Some like to mark an occasion, while others are happy to see the back of these milestone dates. Often the way someone chooses to remember their loved one is dependant on their years or months grieving in between, and what form of relationship that is kept with the deceased. 

This week on Grief Encounters, Sasha chats with an old friend of her’s Ollie Skehan, as he approaches the 20th anniversary of his friend’s tragic death this Sunday, October 27th. In October 1999, Niamh O’Herlihy was travelling in a car with her sister Anita, a close friend of theirs and her one-year-old daughter, when they were involved in a tragic, and fatal car accident that shocked the country to its core. 

Niamh and Anita were members of an extremely promising girl-band called Nivita, that were making moves in the record industry right before the accident. Ollie and Niamh met in during their time studying together in Griffith College and immediately became close companions after enrolling. In the interview, Ollie casts his mind back to the days before and after the accident, and the vividness of it is clear to see. With Ollie’s accounts of those days, it is clear to see how much the world has changed in those 20 years, particularly in the ways we find out about the loss of a loved one. 

He also speaks about his relationship with the O’Herlihy family and how keeping in touch with Niamh’s parents allows him to still have a relationship with Niamh herself. We were delighted to be approached by Ollie to record this beautiful episode as his own testament to his loving friendship with Niamh, his poignant way of marking the 20 year anniversary. 

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos , memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month internationally,  and for many people, the first name that springs to mind when thinking of the subject, is that of Marie Keating, who passed away from the illness in February 1998 .

Since Marie’s death, her family have done unimaginable work in creating awareness for the disease, which devastated them 21 years ago. This week Sasha and Venetia are joined in the studio by Linda Keating, Marie’s daughter and Founder of The Marie Keating Foundation to tell us about the incredible work her family have done in spreading awareness about cancer in ireland. 

In the interview Linda tells the podcast that her mother died because she did not know enough about cancer and the importance of early detection. She also had a huge and extremely common phobia of visiting hospitals and interacting with medical professionals, meaning that she put off getting herself checked for a long time. The saddest part about their story is that If Marie had understood her symptoms and if she had been treated earlier she would be alive today. This fact has been the driving force behind the incredible work Lind and her family have done in the years since their loss. The type of breast cancer that Marie died from is called Paget’s Disease, which is a decaying nipple that can be followed by a malignant tumour, causing breast cancer. 

According to Linda, Marie Keating died because she did not know enough about cancer and the importance of early detection. If Marie had understood her symptoms and if she had been treated earlier she would be alive today. This is why The Marie Keating Foundation was started. 

About the charity:

Given the fact that there are over 170,000 cancer survivors in Ireland today, the Marie Keating Foundation supports cancer survivors through its Positive Living and Survive & Thrive programmes, which are run nationwide, free of charge, for men and women. 

Over 1,000 cancer survivors have attended courses and seminars since the programmes’ inception in 2014. The Survive & Thrive Programme is aimed to assist anyone who has come through treatment to adjust to their ‘new normal’ and offer practical advice and help in many areas of life including diet and exercise, emotional support and adjusting to returning to work.

 The Positive Living programme is for men and women living with advanced cancer and supports them in coping with their specific physical and psychological needs. The Foundation is almost entirely reliant on private and corporate donations to provide its cancer awareness and support services free of charge to families in communities throughout Ireland.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Anniversaries are a bit of a theme for us this month on the podcast, and today, the 10th of October marks 10 years since the death of the brilliant and beautiful Steven Gately. On the morning of October 11th 2009 , Ireland woke to the devastating news that one of its brightest stars, had passed away in his sleep. In one of our first episodes, we had the absolute pleasure of speaking to one of his best friends and bandmates Mikey Graham about his love for Steven, then and now.

He opens the interview with a truly honest account of Stephens personality, and what he meant to the band and the country as a whole. As the talk progresses, the conversation opens into a fascinating discussion about Mikey’s own spirituality and enlightenment through his journey living with grief. Mikey’s words throughout the conversation are incredibly moving, thought provoking and surprisingly practical for our listeners to consider.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on the podcast Venetia sat down with the incredible Irish writer Éilís Ní Dhuibhne to speak about their shared experience of losing a partner, the person that they loved most. Éilís  is the  author of  12,000 Days: A Memoire Of Love And Loss, which is a truly beautiful account of her relationship with her husband Bo Almqvist, who passed away suddenly in November 2013.

Éilís gave up on fictional writing in the months following his death, but began a diary where she took not of her thoughts and feelings. These in depth passages ended up becoming the basis to her truly stunning book, which took a lot of inspiration from many greats in the field such as CS Lewis & Joan Didion. 

In the interview Venetia and Éilís share a huge amount of similar experiences and feelings, that can only be shared through the commonality of losing a spouse. The main difference between their experience has been the time in between, and Éilís’s own awareness and account of her healing since Bo’s death created a really positive conversation between the pair.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After losing his Dad to a heart attack in February 1998,  Our guest this week has since described his “new” relationship with his father  as “an irresistible detective story”, where he “keeps looking around for the essence of him”...

Dermot Morgan is one of Ireland's greatest ever comedians and actors, most notable for his role of Craggy islands morally questionable Priest, Father Ted Crilly, in Channel 4’s Timeless classic - Father Ted. Don Morgan, Dermot’s son joins Sasha, to talk in detail about the memories of his father, and what clues about his dad he has learned since his death over 20 years ago. 

His continued affection for his Dad is prevalent throughout the interview, which features a real insight into how genius Dermot really was, both on and off screen. Sasha and Don spark some incredible conversations around the subjectivity of memory amongst other things. Why do we store the specific memories that we do, and is it right to only portray a person's positive side in the wake of their death? Don also looks at the difficult and unusual scenario of grieving in the eye of the public, which makes an unthinkably shocking situation even more difficult to process.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Caring for a loved can be an incredibly difficult job, regardless of what stage of the illness they are at. It can often take a huge amount of strength and perseverance, particularly if it is a form of dementia, because of its degenerative nature. In March we spoke to the incredible Kathy Ryan, who lives with Younger Onset Alzheimer’s Disease, who’s doing incredible work to advocate around Alzheimer’s Awareness in Ireland. Since Kathy’s appearance on the podcast, further discussion on Dementia has been one of our most requested topics from listeners through the Grief Encounter’s social media channels. 

Kathy’s story is extremely special, because it is not often that you get to hear it from the side of those currently living with the illness, on a platform like this podcast. A more common representation comes from those who have lost someone, and on this week’s podcast Ray Cregan gives Sasha and Venetia an extremely honest and truthful account of how difficult a disease like vascular Dementia can be fore not only the patient, but those who care for them. 

Ray cared for his father Paddy, who passed away almost 4 years ago from the illness. Casting his mind back to the first signs of the disease , Ray explains that the nature of vascular dementia for his father was little stroke events, and that as time passed he noticed little differences.“So there's this guy and he is looking forward to retirement and paying a bit more golf, hanging out with Beatrice my mum and suddenly these event’s start happening to him. He would just zone out and he was gone for a moment or two”.  

Ray cared for his father for over eight years, and in that period saw a very unpredictable digression of Paddy’s mental and physical health. In the interview Ray speaks a lot about the difficulties that come with the job of being a carer, which is a subject that often gets brushed aside in conversation. “There was huge frustration involved, because it was outlined to me that as long as Paddy is alive, I have to be this taxi service that bring him backwards and forwards. That had curtailed my opportunities to seek employment and do something else with life.”

His refreshing honest account of those eight years helps to create a more honest conversation around all the caveats that come with a loved ones diagnosis. Ray joined the Dementia Carers Campaign Network (DCCN) a number of years ago to lend his voice to the call for better dementia supports.  He is now vice-chair of the DCCN which has almost 50 family carer advocates. 

__

A special thanks to The Alzheimer Society of Ireland for helping us put this weeks episode together. If you or a family member maybe suffering from signs of the disease, you can find more information on their website & helpline. 

Helpline: The Alzheimer Society of Ireland National Helpline is open six days a week Monday to Friday 10am–5pm and Saturday 10am–4pm on 1800 341 341 or [email protected]

Website: www.alzheimer.ie

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on Grief Encounters, Sasha was joined by the parents of Sean “Lil Red” Hughes, who was an aspiring rapper from Finglas in Dublin, and the type of kid to make a big impression on anyone who had the pleasure of meeting him. Joe and Karen are two incredibly proud parents who are doing exceptional work in raising awareness around Sepsis, which Sean passed away from in January 2018 at the age of 15. 

After complaining of flu-like symptoms, Sean suddenly lost consciousness while watching TV at home with Karen. He was rushed to Temple Street Hospital but passed away the following morning, and two weeks later the Hughes family found out that Sepsis was the cause of death. Sepsis is one of the countries biggest killers, killing more people annually than heart-attack, although still very little is known about the disease publically, with only 28% of Irish people surveyed, having an understanding of the disease and its warning signs. 

Both of Sean’s parents are completely grief stricken since his loss, but the incredible power and strength they somehow manage to find while sharing his story is nothing short of breathtaking. Having initially struggled deeply in getting support on a governmental level, they have now been asked to lead an awareness campaign around the disease which is sure to save many lives in future. 

“All we have available to us is social media. It can be bad for certain things, but it was great for the Lil Red Legacy Sepsis Awareness Campaign.. Money is not an issue, look at what we have done and we have no money. We’ve no funding. We’ve no PR groups. We are two concerned parents wanting to save someone else's life. No way is our son is going to be another statistic.”

The incredible work that Karen and Joe have carried out is already paying huge dividends nationally, as they look to spread as much awareness about the illness as possible. 

“To date 21 people have contacted me and Karen, saying that as a direct result of what we do on social media, and telling Sean’s story that their life or a loved one’s life has been saved. This is exactly what Sean would have wanted, exactly. My son’s not going to die in vain.”

Sepsis Warning Signs:

Shivering, fever, or very cold

Extreme pain or discomfort

Pale or discoloured skin

Sleepy, difficult to rouse, confused 

I feel like I might die

Short of breath

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The immediate grief after a sudden loss is completely overwhelming, often making it impossible to process the present and the future. Our guest this week had the sad reality of experiencing this in March 2000, when hearing about his brothers death after a tragic accident at home. Abie Philbin Bowman’s brother Jonathan was a radio and television presenter, well known for his extraordinary wit, impulsive presenting style and humour, and without question his ability to often wind people up. 

Abie speaks to Sasha and Venetia about the difficult and unique scenario of having to grieve publicly, because of his brother’s role in the media. 

“It was the first time I had been on the other side of a news story, being in it. And there were just stuff that people got wrong. And they were quite innocent, you know, it was just people who were rushing to get the story or whatever...having to navigate that sort of public side of grief was actually kind of challenging”

During the conversation he also speaks with incredible honestly when discussing the various sides of Jonathan’s character that made him so unique, but also a complex figure in his own right.

“ I had this baggage (growing up) with Jonathan, where it wasn’t always so easy being his brother. They would either be really-really fond of him, or really not. And then he died, and there was this outpouring of people being like ‘oh isn’t he great’.” 

“He was just fun of really crazy fun ideas, and he was a bit of a force of nature, but he also loved winding people up. At home he would sometimes take a position on something he didn’t even agree with himself, just because he enjoyed arguing so much."

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

You can also find Abie's terrific podcast Humans Of Politics here:

https://open.spotify.com/show/7m0YyV1btfkS3IZRIrAC9V?si=Oswne9T9SyGFut9-cGX_Nw

https://podcasts.apple.com/ie/podcast/peadar-toibin-td-humans-of-politics/id1471548194?i=1000447904705

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a late summer break, Sasha and Venetia return with more weekly Grief Encounters chats, and this weeks guest was an incredibly special one. Stephen Sexton is on the cusp of being one of Ireland's great modern poets, and his debut book has been compared to that of Seamus Heaney in recent weeks. If All The World And Love Were Young, is a beautiful elegy to his mother, who passed away from cancer in 2012. 

Stephen explores her death and other themes of grief through the guise of the Super Mario World, video games that used to consume so much of his childhood. The books narrative takes the reader through the various levels of Super Mario World, whose flowered landscapes bleed into our world, and ours, strange with loss, bleed into it. This episode features an incredible mix of deep conversation about the process of grief, its ever frequent manifestation into the world of art, as well as a few readings of Stephen’s truly beautiful work. 

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week on the podcast Sasha and Venetia reflect on an incredible 8 months of conversation, looking back on the many things that they have learned from the incredible guests that have joined them so far. Grief Encounters will be taking a short summer break for the month of August but will be returning on Tuesday September 3rd with plenty more discussion on the subject of loss, and all that comes with it.

If you're looking for a safe haven to express how you feel, 

Share articles, photos ,memories and more,

Join the Grief Encounters Facebook Group,

A place for support, compassion and empathy for those grieving

https://www.facebook.com/groups/GriefEncounters/

Music by: Nctrnm

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.