I’m thrilled to bring you my conversation with Rabbi Steve Leder. Steve is the senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple in Los Angeles. He is the author of five books and in our conversation today, we explore his latest: For You When I Am Gone: Twelve Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story.

We explored so much from the wisdom we gain in the wake of loss, to the most important gifts we can give others – both in our lives and in our deaths.

Spoiler alert, it’s not our money, our record collections, or anything tangible – it’s our stories. He’s learned so much from his personal losses and from the decades he’s spent in his role as a Rabbi about what it is our loved ones will want from us when we’re gone. It’s such a generative and thought-provoking conversation, I can’t wait for you to listen!

Pick up a copy of For You When I’m Gone at your favorite local bookstore or online here

(24;24) Rabbi Steve Leder explains why our current system of the last words we leave our loved ones are the legal verbiage of a will is so profoundly problematic. That’s why he suggests creating an ethical will instead.

(46:00) Rabbi Steve Leder shares a beautiful phrase from the Talmud that is a reminder that we need one another. We can’t endure pain without community, without the caring support of others. Loss reminds us that we don’t need to navigate grief alone.

1)     SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.

2)    INVITE ME TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.

3)    IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.

@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Media Executive Michelle Hord, was no stranger to trauma. Having started her professional career as an award-winning producer on America’s Most Wanted, she expertly guided families through every facet of unthinkable crisis. Later, she covered heartbreaking stories while working at The Oprah Winfrey Show and Good Morning America. She sat with survivors of the unimaginable. When the unimaginable struck at home, when her daughter was murdered, her world changed forever.

In our conversation, just like in her beautiful book, The Other Side of Yet, Michelle has culled lessons learned from mental health experts, therapists, spiritual leaders, and survivors. Michelle offers a beautiful and emotional story about how to keep moving with bravery and defiant faith through life’s most challenging moments. Her hope and defiant faith are infectious. I can’t wait for you to meet her.

A note for listeners, while Michelle doesn’t go into detail, she does recount the day her child was murdered.

Pick up a copy of her beautiful book, The Other Side of Yet, at your favorite local bookstore or online here

(29:51) Michelle shares acts of meaningful grief support she experienced, including by others impacted by this same traumatic event.

(36:50) Michelle reflects on the importance of distinguishing what we do and don’t have control over in the wake of loss. She explores the importance of agency and choice in grieving as critical to healing.

(52:30) Michelle explains how she has grown to appreciate the importance of hope and defiant faith.

You asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop

1. SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.
2. INVITE ME TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.
3. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What I quickly discovered in my conversation with my guest, Cyndie Spiegel today is that we are kindred spirits. We went deep and wide. We cussed. We laughed. We reflected on the both/and of life and loss and how microjoys are the gift we need in these times. Don’t worry, this isn’t toxic positivity, It’s the opposite. Microjoys invites us to make space for all the feels, including the accessible moments of joy that might be hiding in plain sight. I can’t wait for you to meet her.

Cyndie Spiegel is a bestselling author, and the founder of Dear Grown Ass Women -- a hyper-inclusive social community for women 35+. Cyndie's new book MICROJOYS: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life is Not Okay was born in 2020, an awful year for most that was especially awful for Cyndie. She lost her mother to cancer. Her nephew was murdered. Her sibling spent months in the hospital with a stroke and heart failure. And then she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Loss and grief came at her in crashing waves, and she found it nearly impossible to surface for happiness, except in small moments that she began to call "microjoys" -- little bits of beauty or pleasure or unexpected light amidst the darkness. Pick up a copy of Microjoys at your favorite local bookstore or online here

(11:45) – Cyndie explores why the power of positive thinking wasn’t enough after her own year of hell.

(28:00) – Cyndie and I explore that while being present with your grief is important, we all need respite from the deep emotions of grief. That’s where microjoys come in.

(49:11) - Host Lisa Keefauver reads an excerpt from Cyndie’s book, Microjoys about holding the paradox of darkness and light, and the need for us to stay awake for all of it.

You asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop

1)     SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.

2)    INVITE ME TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.

3)    IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.

@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest in this episode is Fatema Jivanjee-Shakir. We met in 2022 when we were serving together on a Mental Health Panel for a large corporate event. The minute I heard her talk about the experiences of body grief, I knew instantly that I had a lot to learn from her and that my listeners did too. That’s why I’m thrilled to be sharing our conversation with you in this episode. She helps us understand the impact of culture on our sense of self and our body-image. We explore some of the many causes of body grief as well as some common maladaptive ways we cope with it.

Fatema Jivanjee-Shakir, LMSW is an eating disorder & body image therapist, writer, and speaker. Her work is strongly informed by the Health at Every Size perspective and intersectional approaches to healing. Fatema has a special interest in working with BIPOC clients. Fatema is a therapist at Conason Psychological Services and a Board Member of the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals New York chapter.

Connect with Fatema on Instagram at @YourSouthAsianTherapist or find her on her website: fjshakir.com. Reach out to her for individual and couple’s therapy at www.conasonpsychologicalservices.com.

(19:11) – Fatema explores how cultural biases, including ageism, impacts our self-image and can impact our sense of our body, and the grief we experience over normal changes.

(29:15) – Sunita explores the secondary losses that can arise when we experience body grief as a result of all sorts of losses.

(45:00) - Fatema explains how the Body Mass Index (BMI) was invented and why it’s use is harmful, problematic, and can have real world negative consequences to our mental, emotional and physical health.

You asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop

1)     SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.

2)    INVITE ME TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.

3)    IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.

@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sunita Puri is a Palliative Medicine physician and author of the incredible book That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour, a critically-acclaimed literary memoir examining her journey to the practice of palliative medicine, and her quest to help patients and families redefine what it means to live and die well in the face of serious illness. In this episode, she explores her experiences in palliative medicine, the role of spirituality and the sacred practice of accompanying someone in their pain and suffering, what it means to have a good death, and so much more. Just like in her writing and in her practice as a palliative physician, Sunita brings so much wisdom, warmth and insight to our conversation.

Dr. Sunita Puri is the Program Director of the Hospice and Palliative Medicine fellowship at the University of Massachusetts, where she is also an Associate Professor of Clinical Medicine. She completed medical school and residency training in internal medicine at the University of California San Francisco followed by a fellowship in Hospice and Palliative Medicine at Stanford. A graduate of Yale University and the recipient of a Rhodes Scholarship, her writing has appeared in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Slate, JAMA, and, forthcoming, the New Yorker. She and her work have been featured in the Atlantic, People Magazine, PBS’ Christian Amanpour Show, NPR, the Guardian, BBC, India Today, and Literary Hub. She is passionate about the ways that the precise and compassionate use of language can empower patients and physicians to have the right conversations about living and dying. 

• I HIGHLY recommend buying her book That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour.
• Other guests who’ve explored aspects of this topic include Dr. BJ Miller and Social Workers Rachel Rusch and Rachel-Carnahan Metzger.

(14:00) – Sunita talks about how in her training she always gravitated towards “the why” – why is a particular intervention being given? To what end?

(33:15) – Sunita explores the importance of showing up as your authentic self – whether you’re the physician, a family member or a friend. It’s not about a perfect phrase or perfect act, it’s about showing up as you.

(44:00) - Sunita explores the importance of listening versus talking when accompanying someone who’s in pain or suffering. Recognizing the paternalistic approach of fix-it when it comes to patient’s emotions.

You asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop

1. SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform.
2. INVITE HER TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.
3.  IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I devoured her book, The Grieving Brain: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss last year and knew I needed to have a conversation with the author on this show. I’m grateful to share that late last year, I had the honor of sitting down with Mary-Frances to explore the fascinating work she has been doing studying the Grieving Brain. I’m 100% confident you will learn so much and appreciate the warmth and wisdom she brings to this conversation.

Mary-Frances O’Connor is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. O’Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post.

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND buying her book, The Grieving Brain here at Amazon or any major booksellers. You can also learn more about her and her work by visiting her website: www.maryfrancesoconnor.org

(13:46) – Explains shift from understanding grief effect on physiology to effect on the brain

(21:-00) – Mary-Frances explains our need for attachment and security and what happens when we lose that relationship.

(36:45) – Explains how understanding how the brain maps our relationships and why each grief journey is unique 

(43:00) - Explains while it’s common for us to think about the shoulda, coulda, wouldas in loss, rumination is actually a form of avoidance. She offers some alternative ways to consider the loss.

You asked, I answered. I finally created some GSB Podcast merch from tees to hoodies to coffee mugs, journals and stickers. Head over to the Grief Happens Shop at www.lisakeefauver.com/griefhappensshop

1. SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.
2. INVITE ME TO YOUR INBOX to get behind-the-scenes on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.
3. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today’s episode, I explore the creative response to loss and trauma with my dear friend, artist, and former GSB podcast guest Krissy Teegerstrom.

In A Grief Journey Delayed in Season 1, Krissy explored the delayed and disenfranchised grief over the death of her father. Not long after that conversation, Krissy came to recognize the  unnamed neglect and emotional abuse by her mother in the wake of her father’s death. In this episode, she speaks openly and vulnerably about coming to grips with the resulting grief and trauma she endured, and the difficult, oftentimes painful, but profoundly healing journey she’s been on ever since. All of that led to her following her intuition to create one of the most exquisite and deeply profound one-of-a-kind experiential art exhibitions, entitled I Was Already Everything

EPISODE RESOURCES

Krissy Teegerstrom is a self-taught artist who lives in Austin. In 2017, she returned to her native state of Texas after living in New York City and the Bay Area.

Drawing inspiration through her intuition, faith in the unseen, and a connection to the natural world, Krissy creates by hand with pencil, paper, paint, thread and fabric, sewing on her 1948 Singer Featherweight sewing machine. She is dedicated to sustainability, utilizing secondhand materials in the majority of her work. Her artwork includes murals, collage, drawings and sculpture. Her design work, under the name Featherweight Studio, focuses primarily on clothing. Clients and collaborators include Eddie Vedder, Phoebe Bridgers, X, Heritage Boot, Tellason Denim and Wrong Marfa.

You can learn about her work at: www.featherweightstudio.com

JUMP STRAIGHT INTO

(04:03) - Krissy’s ideal way of dealing with sadness and loss. 

(09:52) - Grief and trauma as a form of revelation of other Krissy's loss

(16:13) - The moment Krissy realized it was the time to heal

(20:22) - Krissy reclaims her artistic side and creativity as instruments for healing and self-awareness. 

(28:33) - Important symbolism that Krissy uses in her artwork to convey feelings 

(36:16) - Krissy's work as a safe space for us to be vulnerable

STAY CONNECTED

1)     SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.

2)    STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.

3)    IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too.

@lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Somehow the holiday season snuck up on us, didn’t it? Host Lisa Keefauver knows that whether this is your first or 21st holiday in the wake of loss, it can be tough. So in this bonus holiday episode, she is speaking directly to you. She put together 10 tips for you to consider as you navigate the holidays in grief. While she can’t promise you that grief won’t show up over the holidays (because of course grief will, even and especially when not invited), she offers you 10 invitations to help you navigate the holidays with a little more ease and a lot more grace.

She will also be sharing these 10 tips in a blog post and in her Not-So-Regular Newsletter, so sign up at www.lisakeefauver.com/newsletter

1. SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.
2. STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.
3.  IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What must it be like to be a pediatric ICU Nurse day in and day out, witnessing children and families in the most vulnerable and often grief-filled moments of their lives? Today’s guest, Hui-Wen Sato weaves a beautiful narrative about the realities of professional grief and the important cultural shifts needed to better serve both families and the medical professionals that serve them. She also shares the personal resources she draws on to sustain her and the role of storytelling as healing for all involved. And, as the title implies, she also implores us to stop putting healthcare workers on a pedestal.

Hui-wen is a pediatric ICU nurse based in Los Angeles. She holds an MPH and MSN from UCLA, and is currently obtaining her Certification in Narrative Medicine from Columbia University. She and her husband have two daughters, two tortoises and one complicated dog.

Check out Hui-Wen's TEDx Talk: “How Grief Helped Me Become a Better Caregiver.” She has been featured in podcasts with NPR TED Radio Hour and The Silent Why, as well as webinars for Happify and the Speaking Grief Initiative. You can follow her work at http://heartofnursing.blog.

(06:30) - Hui-Wen’s first memory of loss and what she learned from it 

(17:06) - What led Hui-Wen to become an ICU nurse 

(26:20) - Grieving as a nurse 

(45:18) - Letting go of the fix-it narrative 

(57:25) - The big gulf: the expectation of healing vs. the harsh reality 

(01:08:43) - The healing power of storytelling

1. SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.
2.  STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.
3.  IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My guest Myra Sack shares the heart break and the beauty of what it was like to be with her daughter Havi in her too short life. She and her husband Matt ended up having only 13 months between Havi’s diagnosis of Tay-Sachs Disease at just 15 months old and her death at home with them. In that time, the created a sacred weekly ritual that combined the Jewish tradition of Shabbat with birthday celebrations that Havi would most likely not be alive for. The result was 57 Shabbirthdays and the recognition that we can all hold joy and pain in these liminal spaces. What a sacred and beautiful conversation we shared.

A Mother’s Letter On The Passing Of A Young Daughter by Myra Sack

Visit the Center for Healing and Justice Through Sport 

(06:06) - Approach Behavior vs. Avoidant Behavior: Why approaching grief as a community should be encouraged - “We see grieving people somehow as scary or you know, this negative stimulus as opposed to seeing grieving people as beautiful and wise and light.”

(09:18) - Myra’s story: How she met her Husband Matt, became the

mother of Havi and a fatal error that changed their lives forever. 

(13:36) - Shabbirthday: Moving from shock and anger to active

living and celebrating the time Havi had left - “It was in that moment that I

realized that she was here with me in this physical world for only a brief

moment more, and so I was going to summon whatever courage.” 

(26:19) - Finding solace as a community: How people became present

in the Shabbirthdays and accompanied Myra’s family.

(35:53) - How Myra continued a relationship with Havi after her death.

1. SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST on your favorite platform so you don’t miss an episode. If you love the show, I’d love to invite you to leave a rating and write a review.
2. STAY UP TO DATE on the podcast and all the grief support offered by our host, Lisa Keefauver, by signing up for her Not-So-Regular Newsletter at lisakeefauver.com/newsletter.
3. IF YOU’RE FEELING SOCIAL, you can find her on all your favorite social channels too. @lisakeefauvermsw on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, YouTube and TikTok. Check out her tweets @lisakeefauver

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.