Hopestream: Parenting Kids Through Addiction & Mental Health

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Families who have a child or children with substance use disorder often have struggles other families don't ever experience or know about. Having a coach and mentor to come alongside you is invaluable when it comes to navigating the tricky family dynamics involved. My guest in this episode brings a wealth of hands-on experience working with teens, young adults and parents as they work to overcome addiction and restore relationships.

Lori Thompson leads a team of parent coaches and young adult mentors in Wonder's Colorado region and took the time to share her thoughts and perspectives with me. You'll hear from Lori:

• how her experience as both a sheriff deputy and a middle-school resource officer helped prepare her for a career as a counselor
• the similarities she sees in kids when they're struggling with substance use and some of what she believes are the root causes for their struggle
• the impact COVID-19 has had on teens and young adults who are currently in treatment
• why it's so important for parents to give their kids "a little bit of rope" in these days of constant connection
• what we'd hear in a mentoring session if we were a fly on the wall
• how her team deals with kids who are only participating in mentoring because their parents forced them to
• the vital role of vulnerability in the process of parenting an adolescent or young adult child with substance use disorder
• why it's important for parents to find the objective middle ground between catastrophizing and putting your head in the sand
• why she sits a little longer when things get really tough with a kid and everyone else has left the room
• and so much more

Lori is a warm, compassionate, and insightful soul who I know you'll gain a lot from in this very meaningful episode.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Lori Thompson, Wonder Colorado
• Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
• The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
If you've ever been in a conversation where you were thinking, "I'd love to have those kinds of problems" this is an episode you need to hear. For those of us who have kids with a life-threatening disease like addiction, it can be hard to navigate relationships with people who have what we think of as "normal" problems. We retreat and isolate to avoid them or we might blow up or blame our friends and family for worrying about things we perceive to be trivial. 

This is also an important episode to listen to if you have a friend or family member who is dealing with a teen or young adult child who's misusing substances. You'll gain empathy and understanding for why they may be more absent than normal, or why they may get upset or angry when you have what should be uneventful conversations.

Give yourself the gift of 20 minutes to hear:

• ways to change your perspective on other people's problems or complaints
• an experiment to try that may give you more control over your emotions
• a tip for coping day to day without falling apart
• actual words to use with well-meaning friends and family to help you avoid exploding with anger
• why it's important to get your sea-legs and how to do that

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
You may be a parent who's noticing changes in your teen or young adult that worry you, but drugs or alcohol don't seem to be the problem. Their behavior is off, they're acting uncharacteristically and definitely not thriving like someone their age should. What do you do?

This episode is a great place to start if you're thinking about intervening and what that can look like. You'll hear how Annika, mom to 2 teenage boys, noticed her youngest son withdrawing, not participating in family events or sports, refusing to get out of bed, and decided to take action. Some thought it was extreme, she and her husband believe it changed their son's life for the better - and their family's relationships too.

Annika bravely shares her family's story which may help you if you've got a struggling young person in your life. We discuss:

• how being aware of behavior that is out of character is different from behavior that is normal teen development
• what it was like to not even recognize her son anymore
• dealing with a teen who refuses to get out of bed or go to school
• finding help through an educational consultant
• what she learned about taking care of herself
• and why even though this experience was the hardest time of her life she wouldn't trade it 

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Upside of Stress
• The Gifts of Imperfection
• The Power of Validation
• Mindsight
• The Willpower Instinct
• Open Sky Wilderness Therapy
• NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School)
• Outward Bound
• IECA (Independent Educational Consultants Assoc.)

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Dr. Joseph Lee is the Medical Director for Hazelden Betty Ford's Youth Continuum and, as I learned in this powerful, hopeful episode, one of the most genuine and caring people in the field of addiction recovery. Dr. Lee generously shared his thoughts and perspectives from his vast history and experience ranging from the streets of Baltimore to now working with one of the country's most iconic and well-respected treatment programs, Hazeldon Betty Ford. 

Our conversation steered clear of the clinic aspects of addiction treatment and focused more on the humanity Dr. Lee sees as being critical for both youth and parents who are going through the recovery process. We talked about so many issues including:

• What Dr. Lee sees from his vantage point at this historic point in history amid COVID-19, Black Lives Matter and a shifting economic backdrop
• The role of virtual care and how COVID has benefitted this positive treatment modality
• Why Dr. Lee believes virtual treatment may in some cases be preferred over in-person models
• The Pareto distribution theroy - what it is and how understanding it helps young people recover from addiction
• The surprisingly good news about high school kids and substance misuse
• Dr. Lee's thoughts on happiness, peace of mind and contentment even in the midst of having a difficult child
• The emotional pendulum parents go through with a child in addiction, and how to stay as close to the middle as possible
• Why he believes a combination of humility, empathy, and grace are the winning formula for helping youth overcome addiction

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Recovering My Kid: Parenting Young Adults in Treatment and Beyond
• C.R.A.F.T. parenting resources
• NIDA’s Monitoring the Future Report
• High School & Youth Trends DrugFacts (NIDA)
• Pareto Distribution articles & information:
  • NIH report
  • Washington Post infographic & article
  • Paying the Tab: The Cost and Benefits of Alcohol Control (Cook) - alcohol consumption statistics

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
August 31 is Int'l. Overdose Awareness Day and this informative bonus episode will highlight why drug overdose is closer than you think, why it's on the increase during COVID, and some simple things you can do to save a life, even if you don't know anyone who's addicted. Special guests Aaron and Lin Sternlicht from Family Addiction Specialists provide insights and tips from their on-the-ground work at their practice in New York City, and I cover everything ranging from wisdom teeth to Narcan to fentanyl product in Wuhan, China. It's a jam-packed episode for everyone - whether you know anyone who uses drugs or not.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• http://www.brendazane.com/inthegrip - Brenda Zane’s story of her son’s second fentanyl overdose
• Hopestream Episode 1  - Hopestream podcast episode sharing Brenda Zane’s journey through her son’s addiction
• Blog post on teens and wisdom tooth removal leading to opioid misuse
• F.D.A. guide to safe prescription drug disposal
• Where to get Narcan/naloxone
• Article about and photo of Isotonitazene
• Research & Statistics:
  • https://www.deadiversion.usdoj.gov/fed_regs/rules/2020/fr0618.htm
  • https://www.cdc.gov/drugoverdose/data/index.html
  • https://www.upstate.edu/poison/news/covid-impact-on-treatment.php
  • https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/sample-otp-covid-19-faqs.pdf
  • https://drugfree.org/overdose-awareness-day/
  • https://teens.drugabuse.gov/sites/default/files/overdose_data_1999-2018.pdf
  • https://www.latimes.com/world-nation/story/2020-04-24/wuhan-china-coronavirus-fentanyl-global-drug-trade
  • https://drugfree.org/drug-and-alcohol-news/new-synthetic-opioid-mixed-with-cocaine-detected-in-overdose-cases/

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Having a child at-risk with emotional or substance use issues can consume every part of you. It’s a daily struggle that often robs parents of even the smallest joys in life. This episode is for you if you’re wondering if and how you can ever be happy - and is that even ok when your child is so sick? 

I share 3 things to consider if you haven't smiled (genuinely) in a long time, if you don't recognize your life as it used to be, and if you're feeling guilty for wanting some time to yourself, to relax, to forget about the problems your child's issues are causing in your life. 

I dive into key (difficult) questions like:

• can I be happier than my unhappiest kid?
• is it ok for me to have fun while my child is battling addiction?
• my life is falling apart...why does it matter if I'm happy? 
• what if my addicted son or daughter sees me having a good time?
• even if I wanted to have fun, I can't let go of the worry

This is a must-listen episode if you or someone you know has lost their spark and ability to have any joy or fun in their life due to their child's substance use. 

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
"When parents are parents, kids can be kids" sounds easy right? Yet it's not easy to know how to be a parent who sets clear boundaries and creates a safe container for kids to grow, mature and feel all the feelings life throws at them in a healthy way. Luckily, Krissy Pozatek, MSW, joined me for an enlightening conversation on doing just that.

Krissy is the author of "The Parallel Process," a book all parents who have a child in treatment need to read, and is also a parent coach who offers an online program and online coaching sessions. With over 15 years of working with teens and young adults in a variety of therapeutic settings, Krissy offers so much insight during this conversation, including:

• Why rules are actually freeing to your teen
• The danger of smoothing the way for your teens and not allowing them to feel bored, sad, confused or angry
• What parents need to do to help their child when they're struggling (probably not what you think)
• How some kids will only learn from life and why it's important to let go of the reins
• Why kids coming home from treatment programs can slip back into old behaviors if parents haven't cleaned up their skills
• What enmeshment really means
• Why things may get worse before they get better when parents change their actions
• How all feelings are just information
• What attunement is and why it's important
• Why it's important for your teen to not be happy all the time

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Krissy Pozatek, The Parallel Process
• Krissy's Instagram
• Online Parent Coaching Resources
• Krissy's books

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
We've all seen the Ven diagrams showing us to focus on what we can control. But how does that specifically apply if you've got a teen or young adult child who's misusing substances and your life is in chaos? In this episode, I share from the seat of wisdom - 7 very real and practical things you can do to regain some control and sense of agency over your life even if you have an at-risk child. 

These tips also apply to anyone who, during this time of great unrest with COVID-19 is feeling like life is too slippery and you're trying to balance on a teeter-totter in the sand. It's an unsettling and confusing place to be, but it's possible to change the power balance and gain some solid ground. 

I go into detail on 7 tips for things in your control which include:

1. How I react to people and situations
2. What I put in my body and how I treat my body
3. What’s on my phone (and what's not)
4. Who I spend time with (and who I don't)
5. What my physical space looks like
6. When I go to bed (extra bonus material on sleep in Episode 10)
7. What I think about

This is a must-listen-to 30 minutes if you're feeling un-tethered and spiraling because of your child's (or the world's) instability.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
One of the scariest parts of having a child who needs treatment outside of the home is finding the right place, program and people for their unique needs. And Google is NOT the answer (usually.)

My guest on this week's episode made a switch from being an educational consultant placing teens and young adults in treatment programs to building a best-in-class, data-driven website that lets parents search for and compare treatment programs, consultants and resources without having to enter the land of Google.

Listen in to the conversation I had with the founder of All Kinds of Therapy, Jenney Wilder, as we talk about:

✔️ Her unique 40K foot view of the world of adolescent treatment
✔️ Why she designed All Kinds of Therapy with a comparison model
✔️ The real value of an educational consultant 
✔️ The questions parents need to ask when they’re looking for treatment for their teen or young adult child
✔️ Her view of the industry today versus the way it was 20 years ago
✔️ Why she demands so much transparency from her advertisers
✔️ The role Google should and shouldn't play in the search for out-of-home treatment
✔️ Why parents must be ok asking the hard questions
✔️ Why she believes kids in treatment during COVID-19 have fared better than those who aren’t
✔️ Where the 30-day treatment programs came from and why it doesn’t work for adolescents
✔️ and...what fills her with hope

We covered so much ground in this amazing hour, it's a must-listen if you're a parent who's navigating the vast ocean of treatment options for your teen or young adult child.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Jenney Wilder, www.AllKindsofTherapy.com

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.

ABOUT THE EPISODE:
Parents with kids in active addiction often find themselves grieving and mourning the loss of what could and should have been - the life that was robbed by drugs or alcohol. But it's a unique kind of grief because your child is still technically alive, their body is with you but the child you know and raised and love is no longer there. This unimaginable kind of torture is the daily reality for many and in this episode, I share its familiar challenges and ways to survive.

If you have a friend or family member with a child who's currently living in addiction, you'll benefit from hearing what they go through hour by hour, day by day, and will gain empathy for their mental and physical struggles. 

If you're the very special parent who's living this reality, listen in to gain some perspective and ideas about coping mechanisms and finding strength in community.

This podcast is part of a nonprofit called Hopestream Community
Learn about The Stream, our private online community for moms
Find us on Instagram here
Watch the podcast on YouTube here
Download a free e-book, Worried Sick: A Compassionate Guide For Parents When Your Teen or Young Adult Child Misuses Drugs and Alcohol

Hopestream Community is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization and an Amazon Associate. We may make a small commission if you purchase from our links.