Did someone say “gimme all of the tangents”? Probably not, but that’s okay because we’re going to give you all of the tangents that your ears and mind could possibly cope with, and then we’ll probably squeeze in some more. To quote Em “we were pretty wild and reckless and I know that’s saying something”, so to give you a taster of the tangents on offer, we start with Em having to work through her shame of being a Victorian. It would seem toilet paper hoarding has returned to Victoria, which has left Em wondering why some people obsess about their butt holes in a time of International pandemics. So a plea is going out to stop being dickheads and if not, then maybe the next step is a registrar of loo paper hoarders, where you can dob them in for their selfish over consumption. Then it’s on to Friday night and all the things Em learned whilst trying to put a live TV show out to the masses online. She’s low key also just casually decided that she’s going to start her own TV Network and then sidebars into the one song that got her through the hecticness in the lead up to the broadcast. In fact, she even gives you the actual minutes and seconds within the song that’s her ‘you’re speaking to me’ moment, so you can use it to help you get through the day. Then there’s more Masterchef chatter as Michael returns to reflect on Poh finally running out of time on one of her cooks, and Reynold breaking a sweat, totally bursting Em’s theory that he’s a robot of culinary coolness. Then it’s on to filming the new season of Michael’s TV show, which is now finding it difficult to navigate the kissing and sex scenes in the age of social distancing, prompting some very 1940’s style “no touching” moments. Plus they’ll go into further details on the disaster that happened before Em went to air on Friday night, which involved lots of crying, but also gave her the resolve to do another one next month WITH added roller skates. So put your tangent pants on and dive ear first into another sterling edition of Emsolation.

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