You can become an agent of change by changing yourself. How do you step back, take space, change the dance from the usual interactions? You can't do that if you're moving too fast to assess things. Remember that change starts slowly; make small changes, and let them accumulate over time. Crisis that happens all the time is actually chronic behavior, and no longer crisis in the same sense. You can't lift a car off someone every day -- you have to change the underlying dynamic.