Till The Wheels Fall Off podcast - Free on The Podcast App

05.08.2024

How to Tell if Someone is Serious About Recovery

Are they serious? Is this normal? How can you tell if someone is really invested in their recovery? In the world of addiction recovery, it's not exactly cut and dry. There are many paths to recovery, and we aren't concerned...

05.01.2024

Recognizing Abuse

Exploring the harsh reality of abuse and its profound impact on spouses, families, and children is no easy feat. Often, we're tempted to deny its existence in our own lives, but that's a dangerous oversight. Our vision gets clouded; we...

04.24.2024

Anhedonia and the "Blah" Feelings of Recovery

In this episode we discuss anhedonia, or what's commonly referred to as the "blah" feelings of early recovery for both the person coming out of substance abuse, as well as the spouse or partner. We cover the science behind anhedonia...

04.17.2024

Dry Drunk and Emotional Sobriety

Simply removing the substance accomplishes very little. The term dry drunk refers to someone that has not done "the work." The work is the uncovering of root causes and discovering the "why" behind someone's inability to cope with feelings and...

04.10.2024

Why the Past is Important - Accountability & Healing

Phrases such as "We just need to move forward," "The past is the past, get over it," "Stop bringing up the past" may have a time and place, but not in your relationship post-addiction or after betrayal of any kind....

04.03.2024

It's Okay to be Angry

In general, we don't like to be angry. It's uncomfortable and then we're faced with the proposition of confronting someone that has upset us which brings about an entirely new challenge. When it comes to anger with someone in active addiction, it's...

03.27.2024

Lessons Learned Together After 4,000 Days Sober

In this episode we discuss some of the lessons we've learned in 4,000 days of sobriety. We discuss pain management, and our partnership with Aleve in their new awareness campaign called "The Painful Truth." Our story is as much about...

03.20.2024

Finding Comfort as the "Villain"

Being labeled a "Villain" is hurtful when you're just trying to protect yourself and your family. In this episode we delve into the complexities of being labeled the "villain" in someone else's story. Paige candidly shares her journey of grappling...

03.13.2024

Grief and Ambiguous Loss - Grieving The Loss of a Dream

In this episode we cover a particular type of grief common when loving an addicted person called ambiguous loss. Ambiguous loss is a profound sense of loss and sadness that does not stem from the death of a loved one....

03.06.2024

Are You Overreacting?

Is the drinking really as bad as I feel it? Is this a serious problem or am I making something out of nothing? Did I sign up for this? Do I need to just suck it up? Am I overthinking...

02.28.2024

Are You An Overthinker?

Overthinking can plague your mind with many scenarios, many of which are negative and lead to tumultuous thoughts and anxiety. It's more common today than it has ever been and it's not just unique to spouses and partners of alcoholics...

02.21.2024

10 Truth Bombs About Denial

The state of denial never feels like you think it would feel...Most people believe they can intuitively recognize when they're in a bad situation but that's rarely the case. Denial can be a comfortable place to be, but it will...

02.14.2024

Infidelity Q&A

Infidelity was not part of our story, but we get questions about it weekly. Does the cloud of substance abuse excuse infidelity? Was it really them making the decision to cheat? How do I know if them saying it's not...

02.07.2024

Let's Talk About Sex: Emotional and Physical Intimacy Q&A

We took questions from the community and extracted the most commonly asked questions about emotional and physical intimacy. We've never openly talked about our sex life or thoughts on it, but we get open and discuss all things intimate in...

01.31.2024

Learning to Love Myself - How to Rebuild Your Self Esteem

If it were as simple as saying "Just love yourself" then wouldn't everybody have a high self-esteem? The work that takes place within a spouse or partner to rebuild after addiction is something we've talked about for a while, but...

01.24.2024

Codependency Doesn't Tell the Whole Story: Why You Lose Yourself in an Addicted Relationship

Books like "Codependency No More" and programs like CODA or Alanon offer a lot of helpful insight on the topic of codependency. Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship pattern where one person's self-worth and identity become excessively reliant on the approval...

01.17.2024

This One's For Overwhelmed Parents

Being a parent is HARD. The emotional labor and mental weight of decisions rests heavy on healthy couples in equitable relationships. Factor in addiction, and you often have all of the responsibilities of parenting amplified exponentially onto one parent...on top...

01.10.2024

GENTLE Self-Care: Self-Care For Beginners

Self-care...oh my. We hear so much about self-care. There are industries devoted to it, so many opinions and options, and the reality is that very few of them apply to people in survival mode. Self-care IS necessary for your wellbeing...

01.03.2024

How Will You Level Up Your Recovery In 2024?

With a new year comes reflection of the past. We consider what worked, what didn't and what needs to change moving forward into the new year. This episode is designed to be worked with a worksheet that you can find...

12.27.2023

Dealing With The Guilt You Feel In Leaving Or Setting Boundaries

If I'm doing what's best for me, why do I feel guilty? Even when we do what we know is best for us and our families, we have feelings of intense guilt in leaving a toxic relationship or even setting...

12.22.2023

Listener Q&A - How to Navigate Difficult Seasons in Life Sober

We take listener questions from our community and inbox from time to time and we're going to answer a great question today. Often times addicts and alcoholics will justify relapses or use because of difficult life events . E.g., loss...

12.20.2023

Detaching With Love Part 2

We've covered detaching with love before, but the concept deserves further exploration. Detaching with love is paradoxical. We know how to be in love, and we know how to detach...but detaching with love? It's a grey area concept that is rather difficult....

12.13.2023

A Doctor's Opinion: Dr. Christopher S. Taylor on Healing, Addiction, Narcissism, and Codependency

TWFO welcomes Dr. Christopher S. Taylor to the show to discuss a litany of topics such as healing, addiction, narcissism, abuse, boundaries, codependency, and much more. Dr. Taylor is the clinical architect behind Independently Strong's new course designed to help...

12.06.2023

If a Friend or Family Member Sent This to You PLEASE Listen

It's incredibly hard to communicate to friends and family what it's like being in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic, or even an abusive person...they ask the obvious "Why are you still with them?!" followed by suggestions and advice...

11.29.2023

How To Talk With Kids About Your Addicted Loved One And Other Uncomfortable Topics

In this episode we go somewhere we've never gone before and have a discussion as parents, rather than a couple focusing on an addicted relationship. Talking to kids about addiction is extremely difficult to navigate, it's even more difficult when...

11.22.2023

Healthy Communication - A Vision For Growth

The final part in a series on communication covers what healthy communication looks like. We often disregard the need for healthy communication and "Stick with what we know" but there are tried and true methods to effectively communicate your needs...

11.15.2023

Navigating The Holidays With An Addicted Loved One

All I want for Christmas is normalcy... Who can relate? The holidays with an addicted loved one bring an entirely new set of challenges to an already stressful season and it's difficult to navigate. The holidays can be a time of extreme...

11.08.2023

Communicating with Someone in Early Recovery

We continue our communication in recovery series by touching on some of the intricacies of communicating with someone in early recovery. Early recovery presents a unique set of challenges for the recovering person as well as the spouse. Often times...

11.01.2023

Communicating With Someone In Active Addiction

The most common question we get is "How do I help them to get sober?" Unfortunately there is not magic solution, but any progress is going to include communication. This episode begins a series of episodes regarding communication at various...

10.25.2023

Trigger Management for Spouses and Partners

Triggers. The word comes up often in addiction treatment but we're going to shift the discussion to triggers that exist for spouses and partners of people that suffer from a substance abuse disorder. Our conversation today is designed to help...

10.20.2023

If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 3

The conclusion of our message to those in active addiction, or in sobriety discusses the spouse's perspective with the intent to create empathy. Addiction is HARD and nobody will ever question that for one moment, but it's still important to...

10.18.2023

If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 2

We continue with our message to people in early sobriety with a discussion about the disease concept of addiction, and whether the disease model excuses abusive behavior in a relationship. We dig into the real meat of our overarching theme...

10.11.2023

Reactive Defense - Fighting Back Is Not Abuse

Reactive abuse (defense) occurs when the victim of abuse responds to the mistreatment they're enduring. Often times feelings of guilt are present and the victim then feels like an abuser themself. It's important to recognize that reactive defense does not...

10.04.2023

If You Were Sent This, Please Listen - Part 1

We've been asked to create sharable content for your partners and spouses, so here it is. We hope it's helpful in some way. This is part one that focuses on the benefits of a sober life together. Find video clips...

09.27.2023

The Process of Empowerment

The process of empowerment is a journey that takes up time many don't feel they have in the immediacy of a chaotic marriage or relationship. Paige takes a moment to discuss her journey of empowerment and healing while she reintroduces...

09.20.2023

How Addiction Affects The Family - Pros & Cons of Al-Anon

Our discussion this week is split into two parts. The first half focuses on ways in which addiction affects the family unit. We dive in to the subtle and not-so-subtle ways living with an addict can have emotional and psychological...

09.13.2023

Leaving Him Saved Our Marriage & His Life

This episode is special in so many ways. It marks one year of Till The Wheels Fall Off, we have our first guests on, and we hear one of the greatest stories from two of the most amazing people we've...

09.06.2023

Am I Controlling You Or Just Challenging You To Be Better?

The line between challenging your partner to live up to their potential and controlling them is blurry...Often when we challenge people we're labeled as "Controlling" but that's not always the case. Today we discuss the difference between challenging someone or...

08.30.2023

Actions vs Intentions - What Matters Most?

Your intentions are bullsh...well, not totally, but pretty much. Intentions can be extremely valuable in certain situations to provide context but intentions do not excuse behavior. Often times substance abusers or toxic people will ask that their intentions become the...

08.23.2023

What's Going On With Men?

An issue under the surface of what we often discuss is the role of the substance abuser or emotional abuser is that these people are often men. More so than the addiction that wrecks the marriages, families, and friendships of...

08.16.2023

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? - When Is It Time To Leave A Relationship?

"Should I stay or should I go?" paraphrases a question we get maybe more than any other. This episode hopefully brings some clarity to what REAL change and progress in a relationship looks like, so you can gauge your partner's...

08.09.2023

Trauma Bonding - Why We Stay In Abusive Relationships

Trauma bonding occurs when someone becomes overly loyal or attached to another individual who exhibits toxic behavior. This is highly prevalent in narcissistic relationships but it exhibits itself in many relationships where addiction is present. Today we discuss the reasons...

08.02.2023

What Is The Partner's Role in Recovery?

A slippery slope topic...What role should you play in your loved one's recovery and what is the best way to support someone in recovery? What are the do's and don'ts, what actions lead to success, what do I need to...

07.26.2023

The Forgotten Partner - Validating the Partner In Alcoholic or Addicted Relationships

It's okay to be mad. It's okay. Healing starts after the pain is acknowledged and your feelings are validated. Today we discuss the lack of coverage of the spouse/partner in an addicted or alcoholic relationship and how isolating it can...

07.19.2023

Boundaries Part 3: Installing and Living With Boundaries

The final episode in our boundaries series covers the review, installation, and experience of living with boundaries. We discuss in depth what "Healthy" boundaries look like and ways to review them before having the conversation around them. Find video clips...

07.12.2023

Boundaries Part 2: What Makes You Uncomfortable?

In part two of our boundaries series we are picking up right where we left off and furthering the discussion around violations of our values. Once we have established our values, it's now important to look outward at the behaviors...

07.05.2023

Boundaries Part 1: What Are Your Values?

We get asked about setting boundaries more than any single topic so we're creating a 3-part series to break down the process to help you master the technique. In part one we start with the foundation by asking the question,...

06.30.2023

Listener Q&A

We took to our accounts to field questions from YOU and we think this episode is AMAZING! We really enjoyed making this one and we'd love to do more of them in the future so please ask away! Find video...

06.28.2023

Forgiveness - How To Forgive Others & Yourself

Forgiveness is an incredibly complex topic. Many times we feel that forgiving someone is the same as condoning their behavior and that we are "Letting them win" as we drop our guard and decide to give them another chance. That...

06.21.2023

Gaslighting

Gaslighting was the buzzterm of 2022 and as it turns out, many people misuse it. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where an individual's perception of reality is repeatedly undermined or questioned by another person. Gaslighting is common in...

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