I now know the role that my own codependent tendencies played in creating this match. This match that I was convinced was made in heaven. This match that I truly believed was perfect. This match that was such a disaster. This match that nearly destroyed my own health and the lives of my boys.

I realize now how much my own background played a part in all of this. How that very background could cause me to easily repeat this pattern, like so many do. So many victims leave one abusive relationship and walk directly into another one. I get asked so often, how do I break this cycle of toxic relationships?

Start by looking, not at those you are with, but instead directly at yourself. Your own tendencies, your own survival skills, your own reactions, your own expectations, your own boundaries or lack thereof. Let’s look at YOU!

NO, this isn't your fault in any way!! You didn't ask for the abuse in any way! But these codependent tendencies make us huge targets for narcissistic people, especially covert narcissists. It is time to break this cycle!!

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I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

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Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

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