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I do quite a few podcast topics around living in the most positive headspace possible. This one takes it to the next level. I'm sharing specific action steps for completely deleting something negative from your life. I've been trying to get to this point for years and something happened recently that made me realize. I'm there. Quick story… another mom friend and I were working on a project for a group with our kids and another mom came in blazing with all this negativity and opinions and it was just ridiculous. My friend and I were the ones doing all the work and she came in hot and I had all these opinions about how we were doing it wrong and was offended. It didn't involve her. The whole thing just made no sense. But it was jarring at the time because she sent emails and CCed other people, on and on . OK, so fast-forward to last week my friend and I are talking and the other mom who had tried to make our life miserable joined in and we all had a nice chat. Afterwards, my friend reminded me who she was and I was like oh my gosh, you know it's so crazy. I had physically deleted that experience from my mind. I had no idea, that was the woman because it just didn't exist anymore. A big part of this is focusing on what you can control. I can't control her crazy so I deleted it. Today we're going to go through exactly how to do that. Let's define some terms - what are we deleting? Negativity, judgment, drama, anything that makes you feel crappy or bad about yourself or upset or stressed or insecure. We don't need it. So we aren't just going to try to ignore it, we are going to completely erase it from our headspace so it's not taking up our precious bandwidth. ACTION STEPS -Realize what it is -Take the fire out of it -Focus on what you can control -Journal am and pm to clear your mind -Think of something SO important to you and realize that time you spend thinking/talking/stressing about the thing- is time away from that something important. Like bike riding or playing with your toddler or calling your mom. -Control your thoughts -Control your words- if you don't let it grow, it can't get bigger! -Don't respond to crazy! Tell yourself - I don't negotiate with terrorists!!! I'm telling you, the clarity you will feel from not carrying around all this weight that isn't needed is crazy!!! Focus on what you can control - let go of the rest. When you think about protecting your happy headspace at all costs - when thats an actual priority of yours, all of this gets easier. CHEERS to hitting the DELETE button on anything that doesn't bring you JOY!
I am recording this on our 15 year wedding anniversary! On this day 15 years ago Craig and I got married in Cabo, and we started dating 5 years before that. So 20 years in, what have we learned… what have we done awesome and where did we struggle… I'm sharing a bit of our journey and what we know now that been awesome to know from the start.
I hesitate on doing podcast episodes on marriage and also raising kids because it's all so evolving and just when you think you have part of it totally figured out, there's a curve ball.
But, I do have some awesome take-aways that I think will be valuable for anyone in a relationship or looking to be, plus some funny (and painful) stories about how we got here.
Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing.
Scheduling time to do the thing isn't doing the thing.
Making a to-do list for the thing isn't doing the thing.
Telling people you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.
Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing isn't doing the thing.
Writing a banger tweet about how you're going to do the thing isn't doing the thing.
Hating on yourself for not doing the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on other people who have done the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of doing the thing isn't doing the thing.
Fantasizing about all of the adoration you'll receive once you do the thing isn't doing the thing.
Reading about how to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading about how other people did the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading this essay isn't doing the thing.
The only thing that is doing the thing is doing the thing.
------------------- You can dress it up however you want But the work just needs doing Ultimately - it's hitting play and recording the podcast or starting the blog or lifting the weight or making the first healthy meal. We are motivated by the avoidance of discomfort. Figure out - what is the discomfort? Often times, have no idea what the discomfort is - we are just avoiding it. If you have a hard email to write, you might refold and entire set of drawers to avoid doing the thing. Or if you get to a hard point in writing a book - when it gets hard - we reach for our phone for distraction. WHY Because we are avoiding the discomfort. Ask- WHY am I avoiding this? Maybe you need more research. Don't keep banging your head. When you become aware of the discomfort - you make a plan to attack it. I've heard Steven Bartlette say it in this way… What is the psychological discomfort I am avoiding right now? Write down - what is the THING. Unpack it. WHY it's important to force yourself to do the actual thing… because it's the only thing that matters in becoming the person you want to be or reaching the goal you want to achieve. Thank you for listening! Have an awesome day!I feel like most people would say they tired. Today, yesterday, most days. I'm really interested in this. Are we actually tired or are we sort of not excited by what we are doing most days? And if we are tired, is it because the days are too full and we are doing too many things orrrr is it because we aren't setting ourself up to feel rested and rejuvenated. Either way, we need to solve it because we can't complain that we are tired and not do anything to change it. In this episode, let's figure out what's up. Are you actually tired or are you overwhelmed or underwhelmed with life right now? The awesome news - I'm sharing strategies for tackling both. Let's get you un-tired so you can be where your feet are and live your days fully. First, let's figure out why you're tired. 1. Actually tired Strategies- get more sleep, get better sleep, hydrate with electrolytes, no screen before bed, no food just before bed, create best sleep environment, stick to a schedule. 2. Not excited with life / overwhelmed / underwhelmed Strategies- ask yourself the hard questions Make the changes you need to, have the conversations you need to, do the things you know you should. 3. In this lazy habit pattern Just like momentum brings momentum, non-momentum brings non-momentum Strategies- small steps to move more - get going - exhaust yourself CHEERS to getting un-tired and living your most full life.
I have my favorite little due on the podcast with me today. Today Parker is going to tell us the story of when he got bit in the head by a scorpion on vacation and we're going to talk about being kind and being brave and probably soccer. Ok so life as a 6 year old and so many stories. Listen in for some fun insight into the life of a little guy and his plan for convincing Dad to have one more baby, a brother named Hot Dog. Thanks for listening!!
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