Overcoming Shyness: How to Meet People at a Sex Club

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TL;DR - How to Meet People at a Sex Club

Feeling shy at a sex club? You’re not alone, and you don’t need to be bold or extroverted to connect with others. Sex clubs are about more than just sex, they’re social spaces where curiosity, honesty, and kindness go a long way.

Key takeaways from the episode:

Start with conversation, not sex. Ask, “May I join your conversation?”. Simple, respectful, and effective.

Look for newcomer nights or message event hosts in advance to ease nerves and find a familiar face.

Let people know you’re shy. Most clubs are filled with folks happy to support newcomers.

Roleplay flirtation with your partner to build confidence (tip from Daniel of Playboy TV’s Swing).

Practice in everyday settings. Greet strangers at the grocery store or coffee shop to boost social confidence.

Exchange contact info to lower pressure and avoid in-the-moment rejection fears.

Tools to enhance your pleasure & connection:

Womanizer Duo 2 – dual stimulation for solo or partnered play

We-Vibe Chorus – great for shared vibration in play spaces

Mindful Sex course – deepen presence, sensation, and erotic awareness

Use discount code DRJESSVIP to save at checkout.

Want more group-play guidance?

Swinging Advice from Playboy TV’s Swing Stars

How to Prepare for Your First Orgy or Sex Party

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Overcoming Shyness at Sex Clubs

Feeling shy at a sex club is completely natural, and you're certainly not alone. In this episode of the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast, Brandon and I discussed how to navigate social anxieties, initiate conversations, and meet people at a sex club, like Oasis Aqua Lounge, in Toronto.

When it comes to making new connections, remember it usually starts with friendly conversation. It's not just about sex—it's about cultivating genuine relationships. Clubs often host special nights for newcomers, such as newbie events, making it easier to meet at a sex club and with people who share your sense of curiosity and perhaps your anxiety.

Expert Advice on Sex Club Etiquette

Tammy McCray, co-owner of the lifestyle club Sanctuary in Portland, highlights the value of contacting event hosts beforehand. Not only does this ease anxieties by answering your questions, but it also ensures you have at least one familiar face upon arrival. Tammy recommends openly communicating your shyness to event organizers so they can introduce you to outgoing individuals eager to help newcomers.

Additionally, Daniel from Playboy TV’s Swing suggests role-playing with your partner to practice flirtation techniques. This builds confidence and equips you with cues and compliments to smoothly engage others.

Effective Tips for Initiating Connections and How to meet people at a Sex Club

Initiating conversation can be as simple as approaching someone and saying, “May I join your conversation?” Honesty and vulnerability are appealing traits and usually warmly received.

Moreover, don’t hesitate to provide your contact details to others you meet. This allows them space and time to respond without pre...