The Purpose Show

How to Stop Needing Approval


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In this episode, we're breaking down how to stop needing approval, and why approval-seeking isn't a personality flaw or a confidence issue. It's an identity and nervous system issue.

You can make thoughtful choices, act with integrity, and still be misunderstood. That's not failure. That's part of being human and being perceived. The problem starts when your sense of safety, worth, or direction depends on how other people respond to you.

When that happens, disapproval can feel overwhelming. One comment, one reaction, or one opinion can trigger anxiety, self-doubt, or a spiral of overthinking. Not because something is wrong with you, but because your nervous system has learned to look outside of you for safety and validation.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • Why needing approval creates anxiety and emotional instability
  • How the nervous system interprets disapproval as danger
  • The difference between helpful feedback, personal preference, and projection
  • Why treating all feedback as truth keeps you stuck
  • How to stop outsourcing your identity to other people
  • The neuroscience behind writing things out for clarity and regulation
  • Practical steps to build self-trust and emotional stability
  • How to tolerate being misunderstood without abandoning yourself
  • Why boundaries are not cold or inauthentic… they are self-respect

We also unpack approval-seeking patterns, people-pleasing, and the habit of adjusting yourself to feel safe. And I share the real-time process I'm using to become more grounded, regulated, and anchored in who I am (without numbing out or pretending not to care).

This episode is for you if:

  • You struggle with people-pleasing or fear of judgment
  • Criticism or disapproval easily rattles you
  • You over-explain, over-share, or second-guess yourself
  • You want to feel calmer, steadier, and more self-assured
  • You're ready to stop needing approval and start trusting yourself

This isn't about becoming immune to other people's opinions. It's about belonging to yourself so your nervous system no longer depends on external validation.

New mantra from this episode:

Preference is not truth.

My links here:https://alliecasazza.com/tpslinks

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The Purpose ShowBy Allie Casazza

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