Have you noticed that you sometimes use self-kindness as a way of letting yourself get away with bad habits? It's tough to strike a balance between being kind and self-compassionate while also keep yourself accountable and achieving your goals. In this episode, I respond to a listener who is dealing with this exact issue, and offer ways for you to find this healthy balance.
Connect with Cass:
www.cassdunn.com
instagram.com/cassdunn_xo
facebook.com/cassdunn.xo
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How to stop self-compassion turning into self-sabotage

Join psychologist Cass Dunn, and inspiring guests from around the world, for real talk, relatable and practical ideas to help you live a happier, more meaningful life.  

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Society & Culture

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Health & Fitness

Mental Health

This week Cass chats with Samantha Skelly, founder and CEO of Pause Breathwork about the power of the breath to reduce stress and anxiety, heal your body, create clarity in your mind and connect with your intuition. Samantha shares her own story of going from skeptic to devoted student of breathwork, to eventually realising her mission to bring breathwork to a wider community.
She's achieving this via the Pause Breathwork App (available for iOS and Android) and the creation of her 6-month long Breathwork Facilitator training.
Find out more about the Pause App and the Pause Breathwork facilitator training at:
www.pausebreathwork.com
Connect with Sam:
www.instagram.com/samanthaskelly
Connect with Cass:
www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Healing Power of Breathwork with Samantha Skelly

This week Cass talks with Dr Ann Kelley, licensed psychologist and co-host of the Therapist Uncensored podcast, about the importance of updating our understanding of attachment styles and the limitations of categorising ourselves and others. Ann proposes a more helpful approach of thinking about attachment as a spectrum. She introduces the idea of secure relating (as opposed to secure attachment), which involves understanding our own nervous system and how it impacts our interactions with others. 
Ann introduces the Modern Attachment Regulation Spectrum, helpfully using colours to represent different states of arousal: red for hyperarousal, blue for hypoarousal, and green for secure relating. She shares how our nervous system naturally responds to threats and connection, emphasising the need for self-awareness and compassion in order to create happy, healthy relationships in every area of our lives. She provides practical strategies for warming up or cooling down our nervous system and emphasises the relevance of this in every area of life: friendships, intimate relationships, parenting, work relationships, and the broader community.
Connect with Ann and order your copy of 'Secure Relating':
www.therapistuncensored.com
www.instagram.com/therapist_uncensored_podcast
Connect with Cass:
www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo
www.cassdunn.com/crappytohappypod
  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Key to Successful Relationships with Dr Ann Kelley

Cass responds to a listener who is experiencing body dissatisfaction during pregnancy. She highlights that while this is relatively common, it can be a concern if it contributes to poor maternal mental or physical health. She shares strategies for managing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings about your changing body and the importance of women feeling free to share their experience of any aspect of pregnancy or parenthood without guilt. Importantly, Cass highlights some of the signs of 'Pregorexia' (disordered eating during pregnancy) and notes that professional help may sometimes be indicated. 
Connect with Cass:
www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dealing with body dissatisfaction during pregnancy

Cass chats with Victoria Vanstone, host of the Sober Awkward Podcast and creator of the Drunk Mummy Sober Mummy blog and website, about her decision to leave behind her partying days in order to be a happier, less anxious, more present parent by giving up alcohol. Vic admits she didn't like sober people and that she feared no-one would want to be around her anymore if she stopped being the life of every party.
Vic has recently published her first book, "A Thousand Wasted Sundays" and shares how she felt she never had a choice but to drink alcohol, but after becoming a parent, she realised her social, binge drinking was taking more from her than it was giving.
Vic's message is that you don't have to hit 'rock bottom' to question your relationship with alcohol. Better still, there are plenty of good times still to be had. She realises her habit was fueled by people pleasing and a lack of self-care, and she hopes her message will enable other women to see that they also have a choice when it comes to drinking.
Connect with Victoria:
Buy A Thousand Wasted Sundays
Drunk Mummy, Sober Mummy
Connect with Cass:
www.cassdunn.com
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo OR instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.tiktok.com/@cassdunn__ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A Thousand Wasted Sundays with Victoria Vanstone

Cass answers a listener question about what to do when you feel disappointed by people in your life. She shares ideas about how to manage your expectations, how to take responsibility for your own part in the situation, and how to heal from painful feelings of disappointment. Our social connections are the single most important factor contributing to happiness and wellbeing so it's critical we have strategies for communicating our expectations and what to do when they aren't met.
Connect with Cass
www.instagram.com/cassdunn_xo
www.instagram.com/crappytohappypod
www.cassdunn.com
  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How to stop self-compassion turning into self-sabotage

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