How To Survive The Classroom

This week’s voicemails reminded me why teachers deserve Oscars for keeping it together. One teacher shares the horror of being publicly asked if she’s pregnant and another walks us through a “balloon” disaster that turned out to be something… very not balloon-like. Plus, I unpack the best advice I ever got from an administrator about what to do when kids say something so wild you have to literally turn and face the wall.

A choir teacher’s nightmare: a seventh grader publicly asking if she’s pregnant, complete with hand motions.

The admin advice that changed how Andrea handles those can’t-laugh-right-now moments.

Why students will always “rather seem like a badass than a dumbass.”

A “balloon” story that turned into the world’s most awkward cleanup.

The lesson every teacher learns eventually: if it’s round, floating, and suspiciously slippery… don’t kick it.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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This week started with a gut punch, my course evaluations. Let’s just say a few of my college students think I should “go back to teaching middle school.” Ouch. But you know what? They might have a point.

The placenta stew TikTok saga that you won’t be able to stop thinking about (for better or worse).

A hilarious (and horrifying) teacher voicemail about a car “stolen by a tow truck” and a class of sixth graders trying to cheer their teacher up.

A second voicemail that takes a wild turn when a student’s water breaks during last period.

Andrea’s final reflection on Rita Pierson’s “Every Kid Needs a Champion” TED Talk and her hill to die on: protecting kids from early internet exposure.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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You ever have one of those weeks where your kid says something so wild you can’t even respond right away? Yeah… mine started with a confession about sniffing a friend’s butt. I also found myself on tour with two grown men who can’t remember their rental car company, and then I saw a viral video of a mom furious at her kid’s teacher… because he didn’t drink his water bottle.

This week, I’m unpacking all of it . The parenting chaos, the wild road trip energy, and why sometimes, “Bless your heart” is the only thing keeping me from losing it. Plus, two hilarious teacher voicemails you have to hear, including one about a student trying to learn cursive for a very suspicious reason.

Why touring with comedians feels a lot like parenting toddlers.

The viral kindergarten water bottle mom — and what it says about modern parenting.

A voicemail about a kid learning cursive for forgery (yes, really).

An honest look at special education resources and why every teacher needs them.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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This week I found myself wandering through a 90s fever dream, yes, there was an actual Tamagotchi pop-up shop, before heading to Chicago for a sold-out show that brought out old students, old stories, and one deeply unimpressed middle schooler. Then, things got even more chaotic when teacher voicemails rolled in: one about 8th graders who can’t stop saying “six-seven” (and now in Spanish), and another about a slime experiment gone very, very wrong. Let’s just say it involved a phrase no one should ever hear in a science class. Add in a life-saving resource for struggling students and a hill I’m ready to die on why student teachers need to be paid and you’ve got an episode that’s equal parts nostalgia, cringe, and fire.

Andrea’s surreal discovery of a Tamagotchi pop-up shop in a fully packed 90s-style mall before her Chicago show.

A run-in with a 12-year-old fan’s son who made it painfully clear parents can’t be cool no matter what.

A teacher voicemail about students obsessed with the “six-seven” trend and now, thanks to a clever colleague, saying it in Spanish.

Another voicemail featuring an 8th grader who made a slime experiment unforgettable for all the wrong reasons.

Andrea’s passionate plea for change: why student teachers deserve to be paid for their full-time classroom work.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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I thought the mic stand was going to be my biggest battle this week… but between parades I didn’t understand, parents at my kids’ school, and voicemails that took turns I could have never prepared for, this episode had me reeling. From a teacher who declared he had his “asshole pants” on, to a locker room surprise that may or may not have been cocaine, to a student loudly announcing she was climaxing in driver’s ed, let’s just say, things escalated quickly. And yes, I have thoughts. Lots of them.

Apparently, parades aren’t just floats and candy, sometimes it’s cement trucks and kraut balls.

A teacher’s slip of the tongue about “asshole pants” turned into a running gag students will never let die.

The line between “potential cocaine” and “baking powder” is scarier than you think, especially when it shows up at school.

There are things you expect to hear in driver’s ed… “I’m climaxing” is not one of them.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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This week I learned that nothing divides the internet faster than Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s engagement and yes, I have thoughts. Spoiler: I’m baffled, not bitter. From my squirrel-and-nut analogies to realizing Lord of the Rings news impacts me way more than celebrity weddings, this episode is a rollercoaster of pop culture side-eye, mom-life struggles, and teacher realities. You’ll also hear listener voicemails that had me laughing and questioning admin choices, plus a resource that might actually save you grading time.

A nerdy detour into Lord of the Rings news that sparked way more joy than any celebrity couple could .

A listener voicemail about teaching in 110° heat in Southern Utah and the reality of special education across grades 10–12 .

A second voicemail that sparked a debate about admin calling a disruptive student “our friend” and how leaders should support teachers .

Andrea’s hill to die on: why charm and grit will always beat raw IQ in the long run

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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This week had me cackling, cringing, and covering my face. First up, Indiana State roasted me in the most unexpected way, and then a listener voicemail hit my inbox about a confiscated classroom “toy” that looked suspiciously like something straight out of an adult store. Add in another voicemail about a kid who ended up in the ER after a bathroom stunt went horribly wrong (yes, it’s as painful as it sounds), and I spiral into a rant about why “no animal testing” might not be the flex brands think it is.

A listener voicemail about a confiscated item that had teachers questioning if it belonged in a classroom—or an entirely different store.

Another voicemail about a student’s bathroom stunt that ended with a nurse, an ambulance, and stitches in a place no one wants them.

Andrea’s own kindergartner proving poop humor is genetic.

A fiery rant about “no animal testing” labels and why Andrea doesn’t buy the hype.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

You can nominate a teacher who’s made a life-changing difference—they’ll be entered to win a massive giveaway.

And, if you’re a teacher, professor, or faculty member yourself, Cozy Earth is giving you 50% off all month long.

Just head to http://www.cozyearth.com/teachers to nominate and to access your discount.

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This episode has everything: a very confusing proposition for Gasper in Arizona, students showing up to class with “water bottles” that definitely weren’t water, and a kid who decided standardized testing needed more… fire. Literally. I also get into the messy overlap between teacher contracts and legal weed, why standardized tests might be measuring culture more than knowledge, and the one hill I’ll absolutely die on when it comes to superintendents. It’s chaotic, it’s real, and it might just make you grateful your worst testing day didn’t involve a human torch.

A student busted with weed and vodka—while still somehow upright in class.

The ninth grader who lit their arm on fire during a state test (and insisted it was “cool”).

Andrea’s take on marijuana legality, teacher contracts, and the double standards around what educators can do off the clock.

A fiery rant on why superintendents should never get raises when teachers don’t.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

Let’s give back to those who give everything to the next generation. This September, Cozy Earth is doing two special things for teachers:

You can nominate a teacher who’s made a life-changing difference—they’ll be entered to win a massive giveaway.

And, if you’re a teacher, professor, or faculty member yourself, Cozy Earth is giving you 50% off all month long.

Just head to http://www.cozyearth.com/teachers to nominate and to access your discount.

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This week I found myself caught between two very different kinds of chaos: one involving an art teacher with a flair for fire, and another that sent me spiraling back to the glory days of Limewire downloads gone wrong. I’ll just say this, what started as innocent creativity and curious music hunting turned into disasters no one saw coming. And yes, you’ll probably feel just as nervous as I did listening back.

Why some classrooms should come with fire extinguishers—and therapy vouchers.

The unforgettable chaos of Limewire and what we really found on those downloads.

How a single misstep—whether with fire or files—can change the entire vibe of a day.

The line between hilarious disaster and genuine danger in both classrooms and dial-up days.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com and ⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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Teacher besties, this one whiplashed me from what did that sub just say? to why am I holding the phone with a detective?

We start with a voicemail about a beloved substitute whose first day with third graders went… let’s call it catastrophically “old-war-story meets wrong audience.” The recovery arc? Shockingly sweet—but the initial moment had my soul leave my body.

Then a second story drops: a teacher realizes a student’s casual recap might be the missing piece in an unsolved gang-related homicide near school—and suddenly she’s coordinating with investigators. It’s heartbreaking, complicated, and so real to how kids can be both soft and street-exposed at the same time.

I share how these moments rewire your teacher brain—why some “favorites” in the sub pool become targets, and why kids who brush up against gangs are often looking for the same thing we try to build in class: safety and community

A teacher hears a student’s after-school story and realizes it may matter to an active homicide investigation—so she makes the call.

Why favorite subs sometimes get terrorized more, not less—and how kids “work the room” when the regular teacher’s out.

Andrea’s take on gang-affiliated students: the classroom as a pocket of safety/community in a life that doesn’t always offer it.

A reminder that the “toughest” kids might also be the ones building blanket forts at 10am—and bringing flowers to their mom’s grave at 10pm.

Teachers’ night out? Yes, please! Come see comedian Educator Andrea…Get your tickets at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠teachersloungelive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Educatorandrea.com/tickets⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for laugh out loud Education!

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