You are likely anxious, feeling unsafe, angry, and exhausted from life with a relentless difficult Hijackal. Understanding enabling and knowing how to stop--beginning with small ways--is important for your well-being and mental health. You likely never meant to become an enabler. It happens slowly. And, just as slowly, you abandon yourself in favor of meeting the needs and taking responsibility for the actions of another person. 
See the enabling clearly, and use these 10 Ways to find your way back from enabling other adults. Not your job! 
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Dr. Shaler's definition of enablingHow enabling differs from empathyNot being responsible for the actions of othersEssential nature of boundaries10 Ways to Stop Enabling over time 
 I'm here to help. Let's talk soon. Rhoberta
Introductory session for new clients,only $97
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor TWITTER: https://www.Twitter.com/RhobertaShaler LINKEDIN: https://www.LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShaler INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler PINTEREST: https://www.Pinterest.com/RhobertaShaler
YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Emerging Empowered Community now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 2 group Ask Me Anything calls + a monthly Sunday Seminar, AND online Emerging Empowered Journals with prompts each month! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community 
#stopenabling #whatenablingis #enablingvsempathy #enablingisdisabling #abandoningmyself  #emotionalabuserecovery #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #signsofemotionalabuse #amibeingabused #toxicrelationships #narcissist #hijackal #emotionalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How & Why to STOP ENABLING a Hijackal

The Save Your Sanity podcast offers episodes filled with the expert insights, validation, strategies, and support you need to recognize, manage, and recover from relationships with the relentlessly difficult, toxic--and often disturbing--people that host Dr. Rhoberta Shaler calls Hijackals®.&nbsp;
She offers invaluable help to stop the second-guessing, undermining, and crazy-making traits, patterns, and cycles you have encountered in relationships with folks like those. Understand the ways, whys, and hows that verbal abuse, emotional abuse, and spiritual abuse affect you over time. Whether the Hijackal is a partner, parent, ex, or colleague, what you will learn here will strengthen and empower you to step up, speak up, and stand up for yourself in healthy, assertive ways. 
Many Hijackals have behaviors that are considered the same as those who are diagnosed as narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, and histrionic personality disorder. These insights will help you to make the changes--and good decisions--to move from pain to power, and that's exactly what you want to do! Listen now.&nbsp; Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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This audio was recorded in 2006, long before Hijackals became Dr. Shaler's focus. 
Rethinking Selfishness: "What if I told you that I now value selfishness? Would that be shocking? Not only do I value it, but I encourage others to value it and practice it."
In this first of our upcoming Legacy Files, Dr. Shaler explores the often misunderstood concept of selfishness and redefines it as a positive force. Throughout our lives, many of us have been taught that being selfish is wrong. However, Dr. Shaler encourages us to reconsider this notion, advocating for a type of selfishness that empowers us to better care for ourselves and, in turn, more genuinely care for others.
She delves into how practicing what she terms "positive selfishness" can actually increase our self-esteem, improve our personal freedom, and enhance our abilities to contribute to the world. In this discussion, we'll unpack the differences between detrimental selfishness and beneficial self-focus, explore the importance of setting boundaries, and debunk the myth that loving oneself is an act of neglect towards others. Join us as we lean into learning how to be positively selfish, and why it is crucial not just for personal happiness, but also for fostering healthier relationships.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are deeply saddened to share that Dr. Shaler passed away unexpectedly on April 3, 2024. She left peacefully and without any further discomfort, full of grace. Rhoberta worked hard to maintain her energy to continue offering time and wisdom to clients, members, and strangers alike, who found her voice and demeanor comforting and strengthening as you each faced difficult and overwhelming experiences.  We know it was very hard for her to let go enough to leave her clients and fans behind, and that serving you all was her greatest joy.  If you need some time with her, please visit her youtube channel (youtube.com/@forrelationshiphelp) or listen to other episodes in this podcast. There is a wealth more information among all her body of work, that has not yet made it into the world. We will continue to surface this additional material and content from her deep archive to allow her voice and strength to continue helping you all. Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Be Positively Selfish

Whether you're looking for a new friend or a potential new relationship, you don't want to be trauma dumping. When you let your whole story fly, someone else is likely to get crushed by it. Out of the gate, with someone new, it's smart to establish a relationship dynamic based on balance, mutual sharing, and emotional maturity. Oversharing personal traumas can burden the budding relationship and skew its potential for growth.
Whether you're single, dating, or looking to improve your emotional connections, this episode of #saveyoursanitypodcast share strategies and practices you need, to proceed with care and confidence.

 HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:New Relationships and Emotional BaggageUnderstanding Drama Dumping and Trauma DumpingEmotional Health and Relationship DynamicsBuilding Emotional MaturityDating After a Toxic Relationship
 I'm here to help. Let's talk soon. Rhoberta
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Emerging Empowered Community now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community
#dramadumping #traumadumping #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers #traumadumpingredflag #dramadumpingattractcshijackals #narcissistsbreakpromises #canttrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social #hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

DRAMA-DUMPING: The #1 Thing NOT TO DO When Meeting a Person for the First Time

SOOO frustrating! You hoped for a partner, parent, sibling, or adult child with whom you could communicate, collaborate, and co-operate, but no. You live most of the time with q tiresome toddler or miserable middle schooler, right?
Learn more about recognizing the patterns and altering your expectations now.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:#Hijackals are emotionally immature.Check your expectations when you approach a narcissist. Expecting equality? Oops!Often feel you're talking to a tiresome toddler or demanding teenager when you try to reason with a Hijackal?Why you need to do your own work to make good decisions about what to do about the Hijackal
 I'm here to help. Let's talk soon. Rhoberta
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Emerging Empowered Community now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community
#narcicisstsareemotionallyimmature #emotionallyimmature #hijjackalsareemotionallyimmature #narcissistsbehaveliketoddlers  #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social #hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Expecting Emotional Maturity from a Narcissist? Don't Hold Your Breath!!!

Narcissists ask for too much...and they expect to get it. It's essential to hear that a question is outrageous so you can respond differently. If you've been with a Hijackal for too long, you may have stopped hearing their questions as outrageous; 
This episode will sharpen your listening skills and increase  your sensitivity to questions that are intrusive, violating, and need a solid NO answer.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Listen for outrageous questions. You may have become used to them,Narcissists want power over you.Meaning of 'coercive control"Learn to diffuse the outrageous question,
 I'm here to help. Let's talk soon. Rhoberta
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Emerging Empowered Community now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community
#learntosayno #saynotosadsm #saynotomysogyny #saynotoqhmakesmeuncomfotable #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social #hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Narcissists Make OUTRAGEOUS ASKS. Learn to say NO,

Being with a narcissistic person is scary, right? You are usually wrong...even when you're right!. You never know what mood they'll be in. They lie, gaslight, rage, and fall silent. 
They are intimidating! They keep you on edge! What can you do to reduce the intimidation? Listen to this episode. 
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:Narcissistic people are likely to engage in several kinds of abuse: verbal, physical, sexual, financial, emotional or spiritual Hijackals use intimidation as a quick way to win, or silence someoneChange your perspective and stop allowing yourself to be les than equal.Use the Personal Weather Report to your advantage 
 I'm here to help. Let's talk soon. Rhoberta
FOLLOW DR. RHOBERTA SHALER... WEBSITE: https://www.EmergingEmpowered.com PODCAST: http://www.SaveYourSanityPodcast.com NEWSLETTER: http://www.HijackalHelp.com FACEBOOK: https://www.Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpDoctor INSTAGRAM: https://www.Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShaler YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/ForRelationshipHelp ------------------------------------------------------------- I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT IT! If you want to learn more, share, ask questions, and feel more powerful within yourself and your relationships, join my Emerging Empowered Community now. Off social media, safe discussion + videos + articles + webinars + 3 group Ask Me Anything calls AND online Emerging Empowered Workbooks with prompts! WOW! Join now. Dr. Shaler's Emerging Empowered Community
#narcissstiintimitation #respondingtointimidation #stayingcalmwhennarcissistsareangry #narcissistsbreakpromises #canrustanarcissist #emergingempowered #relationshipincrisis #personalitydisorders #hijackals #narcissist #anri-social #hijackals #emotionalabuse #narcissists #toxicrelationships #breakingthebonds #verbalabuse 
 Finding value in this content? Support us on Patreon.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/hijackals-conflict-toxic-people-narcissist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How & Why to STOP ENABLING a Hijackal

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