“It ain’t ova, b*tch.” But Donny’s career in podcasting is, as he will ultimately be cancelled for his accent work and acting choices during this “Save the Last Dance” recap with Kendrick Tucker of “Reality and Comics Too” podcast.  The dark (in more ways than one) opening makes Chelsea realize why she left sleepovers early, and her passion for Julia Stiles’ pullout couch makes Donny realize he doesn’t want to sleepover at her house anymore. Then, Chelsea reminisces about her time at the Thirsty Turtle while Donny reminisces about his time in the special gym class. Also, the Cuties send in their best stories of times they put their foot in their mouth. But mostly, the three just praise Bianca Lawson and Kerry Washington for an hour.

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Idiots actually are all around, and Jen (Instagram’s @blocked_by_jax) discovers that quickly when she helps Donny and Chelsea recap “Love Actually” in honor of Christmas in July. The three realize that the movie does not hold up - at all - and Chelsea realizes that characters that don’t speak still need someone to write for them and judges Donny for being on “a lot” of cruises. Then, Donny and Jen get in a fight over Ashley Tisdale’s “Last Christmas,” and he crowns one of the movie’s actors as a true hero. Also, Chelsea read for this episode. Do YOU know Colin Firth’s storyline in this movie?

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When "Easy A" was picked as this week's movie, Donny and Chelsea knew right away who they wanted to cover it with. Enter Nava and Sophie, co-hosts of "Podcrushed," the podcast where Penn Badgley reads your middle school story. What Sophie and Nava didn't realize, though, is that if they are the "scholarly" nostalgia podcast, "I Am The Cute One" is the equivalent of walking into a monkey's cage at the zoo. 

Donny demands they tell their Gleek status within the first five minutes of the show before accidentally talking sh*t on their co-host (sorry, Penn!) Then, Chelsea admits to being bullied by dog instagram accounts and then gives Donny a backhanded compliment in the form of a Pokemon evolution theory. And then, when Sophie and Nava think they've caught on to the chaos and tell a story about tickle parties, Donny one-ups them with his secret weapon: lick attack time.

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It's a menagerie this week as Donny and Chelsea are joined by Melissa Beck of "The Real World: New Orleans" to discuss one of her top two movies (and it's not number two), "Welcome to the Dollhouse." In perhaps their deepest and most scholarly episode yet, the three relive their middle school trauma as they dissect the dark but lovely film and praise the versatile actresses of their time, Jennifer Aniston and Mandy Moore. Donny tries his best to not make Melissa feel old, Melissa makes Donny sweat, and Chelsea shocks everyone with her mother's chicken prep.

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Chelsea and Donny are not letting Dick run their life, but they are letting Ryan Bailey (someone who likes to eat ass on camera) celebrate the 50th Anniversary of Watergate with them by recapping the 1999 Kirsten Dunst/Michelle Williams movie, "Dick." Ryan spends the episode trying to figure out who the target audience was for this movie while Chelsea spends the episode giving history lessons. Then, Ryan shares a story about his worst date and Donny educates them on the early 2000s gay porn, "The Hole." Also - were Pepe and a pimp involved in Watergate? 

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What better way to end Chelchella 2022 than by recapping “The Witches,” the movie that defined Chelsea’s personality and inspired her tramp stamp, with Dara Laine Sussman of Les Deux You Remember This? Roald Dahl’s books are for little freaks, and Donny, Chelsea, and Dara prove they fit right in with their stories of hamster haircuts, parakeet mating rituals, British mice, and Philadelphia’s Disney vault. The trio also perform an in-depth analysis on the heavy crotch work in this film, and Chelsea unlocks a vault of her own to reveal something none of us knew we were missing: Pepe.

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After begging to come back on the the podcast, Imani Marcus (Mixing With Mani) joins Donny and Chelsea to celebrate with her favorite straight woman, Elle Woods. Although Chelsea cut all of Donny’s references to the “Legally Blonde” musical, he still has plenty to say, starting with a deep dive into the font used in the movie’s opening credits. Meanwhile, Chelsea explains getting Luke’d, and it’s clear that she and Donny don’t use the same internet when she tells a story about her friend’s (not blind) dog.

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