This week, Stoya and Rich answer a letter from a woman who feels terrible about what turns her on the most. Then they advise another woman who’s suffering from a problem that people usually think only men have.

Slate Plus members get another episode of the How to Do It podcast every Monday. Sign up for Slate Plus now and get $25 off your first year. This special offer is only available until Oct. 31.

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Read the How to Do It column on Slate here. If you’re in need of sex advice from Stoya and Rich, write in here or leave a voicemail at ‪(347) 640-4025 and we may use it on the show. Remember, it’s anonymous—and nothing is too embarrassing!

Production by Chau Tu.

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