Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of the groundbreaking bestseller She Comes First, He Comes Next, and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. They talk about why his 2004 classic is still changing bedrooms two decades later, how the clitoris remains misunderstood, and what makes sex truly great.

We discuss:

- Why She Comes First is still a global bestseller 21 years later

- ⁠The science of the clitoris and its internal structures

- Why all orgasms are clitoral — and what “outercourse” really means

- Why penetration-only sex leads to bad sex and performance anxiety

- The most common sexual problems heterosexual couples face today

- How to shift from intercourse-focused sex to pleasure-focused sex

- Why rhythm and persistence are essential for clitoral stimulation

- Why novelty helps early on but routine deepens connection

- How rushing and orgasm-chasing have ruined slow sex

- The differences between male and female arousal cycles

- ⁠The three assurances every giver should offer during oral sex

- Why enthusiasm is the sexiest thing a partner can show

- How women’s insecurities (“I’m taking too long,” “Do I smell?”) block pleasure

- Why giving oral sex might be the key to your erection problems

An unfiltered, intimate conversation about why She Comes First is still essential reading and how better sex starts with slowing down, getting curious, and caring more.

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Amanda Dames, the kink consultant and sex & relationship coach, for a deep dive into the world of kink — from power dynamics and negotiation to choking, bondage, chastity, and aftercare. Amanda, a former dominatrix and current coach for couples and individuals, breaks down how to safely explore desire, communicate boundaries, and find confidence in both dominance and submission.

We discuss:

• What a kink consultant actually does and how Amanda works with couples and individuals

• How to talk about kink and start negotiating scenes with a partner

• The concept of core desires: what drives your kinks on a deeper level

• Power exchange and why it’s one of the most common and misunderstood kinks

• How to safely practice choking and the difference between sides and trachea pressure

• How to create and close a scene, use safe words, and practice aftercare

• The difference between a kink and a fetish (and why fantasizing isn’t cheating)

• What to do when one partner is kinky and the other isn’t

• The importance of curiosity, consent, and mutual care in exploring desires

• Why choking porn shouldn’t be banned, it should be taught safely

• How to avoid nerve damage in bondage and the importance of safety scissors

• How to transition between dominance and submission when you’re a switch

• Why chastity for men is on the rise and what makes it exciting

• The realities of power play, punishment, and control

• What good aftercare looks like: from cuddling to next-day check-ins

• Why communication before, during, and after sex prevents harm and deepens connection

• The role of negotiation, consent, and enthusiasm in every scene

• Why more women should take control in bed and why more men should learn to be submissive

• How lingerie, pegging, and roleplay are more common (and fun) than people think

• Amanda’s fetish for being punished and how fantasy enhances orgasm

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@⁠sexwithalexa⁠)⁠ sits on the couch with Robyn Silber⁠ — a former Google software engineer who slept with 70 men in 10 months and then realized she’s asexual. Robyn opens up about her “slut era,” sexual health, discovering demisexuality, navigating autism and dating, and why she’s now working to help lonely men build real connection.

We talk about:

• Dating younger men and having 70 sexual partners in her first 10 months in NYC

• Sexual health: chlamydia, BV, yeast infections, UTIs, and learning to advocate for herself

• Why only ~5 of 70 partners made her orgasm and how she wasn’t asking for pleasure

• The difference between physical attraction and real sexual desire

• How asexuality doesn’t mean low libido or lack of masturbation

• Her current relationship: emotional connection, sensuality, and slow intimacy

• Why everyone should have a “slut era” and what to keep in mind

• Her idea to launch an online support group for men who aren’t getting laid

• The male loneliness crisis and how empathy can rebuild connection

• Why men should focus on friendship, hobbies, and social skills before dating

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Haley Jakobson, author of Old Enough, bisexual Dream Girl, and OCD Princess, to talk about friendship, therapy, OCD, and sex. Haley opens up about how her OCD has shaped her relationships, sexuality, creative life and how vulnerability and repair have transformed her friendships and intimacy.

We discuss:

• The importance of friendship and why it can be even more transformative than romantic love

• Learning to fight and repair conflict with friends instead of avoiding it

• Friendship breakups, grief, and when to let go vs. when to repair

• How attachment styles (anxious vs. avoidant) affect friendships and conflict

• The parallels between romantic and platonic relationship skills

• Navigating OCD, intrusive thoughts, and relationship anxiety

• Sexual shame, low libido, and reconnecting with desire during recovery

• The impact of COVID on libido, self-pleasure, and intimacy

• How OCD and anxiety affect sexual intimacy and self-image

• Learning to find satisfaction without pressure to perform sexually

• Haley’s upcoming novel Cave Girl and the story behind its title

  
  

  Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:

  https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Nina Divina, Mama Muse and founder of Haus of Muse, for a powerful and playful conversation about confidence, burlesque, sensuality, and how to be the main character in your sex life.

We talk about:

• What “cunt is an energy” really means and how to embody it

• Overcoming body image struggles and learning to love your reflection

• How to be the main character in your sex life and in everyday life

• The power of adopting a persona to boost confidence

• Why teasing is the most underrated form of foreplay

• Teasing vs. flirting — and how anticipation makes everything hotter

• Building sexual confidence through self-love and self-touch

• Reconnecting with your sensuality after losing it

• The importance of breathing, eye contact, and connection before sex

• How “fake it till you make it” and “delulu is the solulu” actually work

• Stretching, sensual movement, and small daily rituals to feel sexy again

• Why confidence, play, and teasing make sex better for everyone

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jeff Perla, host of Oh Dear I’m Queer, for a candid, funny, and unfiltered conversation about queer sex, dating, and intimacy.

We discuss:

• Morning hookups, blowjob confessions, and the idea of “nut clarity”
• Seeing Jeff's nudes & live reactions
• Snapchat vs. Instagram, hookup apps, and why Jeff made hoe cards while Alexa makes hoe friendship bracelets
• Bold ways of flirting IRL
• Fire Island and Hamptons stories, including Jeff’s secret hookup with “Chad,” a DL late-blooming bi guy
• Sex toys, magic wands, vibrating cock rings, and why toys aren’t just for women
• Gay hookup culture, Grindr chats, and whether there’s really a “top shortage”
• Therapy insights: Jeff wants to settle down and went to therapy to see if he's the problem
• Bi men in gay spaces, biphobia, and the fear of being “left for a woman”
• Girls’ gays vs. gays’ gays, and the tension over women in gay bars
• Eating disorders, body image, intermittent fasting, and gay pool party pressures
• Open relationships, monogamy fears, and rules like “our bed is our bed”
• Family dynamics, supportive siblings, grandma’s vibrator advice, and parents learning about OnlyFans
• What makes a “pretty dick,” hygiene, cut vs. uncut, and why enthusiasm matters most in oral sex
• Grindr bios, faceless profiles, and navigating hookup app etiquette

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa 

🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram! www.patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Ali Weiss, New York native, host of Tales of Taboo and unapologetic oversharer, for a raw conversation about rejection, vulnerability, and why we’re all obsessed with the forbidden.

A funny, honest, and deeply relatable episode on being human, craving connection, and owning your messy truth, why rejection stings less when you know yourself, and how vulnerability can be both a calling and a curse. Ali opens up about running her anonymous confessions podcast, burnout, parasocial relationships, and why taboos like sex work and drug dealing deserve compassion instead of judgment.

Other topics we cover:

• The complicated relationship with oversharing and boundaries

• Why rejection isn’t the end of the world, and how to approach people IRL

• The obsession with being a “clean girl” vs embracing messiness

• Why taboo fascinates us and how it secretly connects us all

• Friendships that go deeper than relationships

• Learning to accept yourself so you can handle rejection and find real connection

👉 Support the podcast and get bonus content on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed with Vee, co-host of Girls Gone Deep and almost-certified somatic sex and relationship coach, for a juicy conversation all about sexual fantasies.

We cover:

• Why fantasies are so important for a fulfilling sex life

• The difference between fantasies you should keep in your head vs. the ones you might want to bring to life

• Vee’s wildest fulfilled fantasies (from MFM threesomes to DVPs and even public play at Broadway)

• What it’s really like to plan a gangbang (and why you might not want to force it)

• How shame around our bodies, vulvas, and desires can hold us back — and how to push through it

• Fantasies that should stay fantasies (monster-fucking, Khaleesi worship scenes, etc.)

• The role of community and how to find people who will help make your fantasies a reality

• Fantasies that grow out of childhood wounds, trauma, or praise/degradation kinks

• How to actually ask for what you want and deal with rejection

• Tools for couples and individuals to explore fantasies safely (even if they never leave your imagination)

It’s raw, personal, and full of both funny and vulnerable stories — from getting DVPed on a cruise to being worshipped by multiple partners at once. If you’ve ever wondered where fantasies come from, how to share them without shame, or how to make them happen in real life, this is your guide.

💋 Support the show on Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes, and more at patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified sexologist and Wonderlust founder Natassia Miller for a deep dive into one of the most common struggles in relationships: mismatched desire.

We break down why sex can get boring in long-term relationships, why the honeymoon phase always fades, and how to actually reignite passion with your partner. From exploring fantasies to reducing the mental load, this episode is a roadmap for couples who feel like they’re not having enough sex — or not the kind of sex they really want.

We talk about:

• Why desire always shifts after the honeymoon phase
• The role of new relationship energy and why it fades
• How mismatched desire shows up in nearly every couple
• Why foreplay is more than just sex — it’s in the daily details
• The importance of “I statements” vs. blaming your partner
• How mental load kills desire, especially for women
• The power of non-sexual touch and small moments of intimacy
• Why women get bored faster in monogamy — and what to do about it
• How to bring up bad or boring sex without crushing your partner’s ego
• The role of masturbation in keeping connection alive
• Introducing novelty, fantasy and kink safely with your partner
• Tools like intimacy card decks to make sexual communication easier
• When to see a professional and how one session can change everything

👉 If you loved this episode and want to support the show, join my Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes chats, and extra Q&As: patreon.com/sexwithalexa.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Elle Chase (@theellechase), certified life coach, sexologist, sexuality educator, author, and one of the most respected voices in the body acceptance and body neutrality movement. Together, they unpack how body image affects intimacy, relationships, and the ability to feel sexy in your own skin.

In this episode, we dive into:

• The difference between body love and body neutrality

• Baby steps to start feeling sexy when you don’t love your body

• How body image influences desire and long-term passion

• Building connection through touch, intimacy, and skin hunger

• Why self-compassion and communication matter more than confidence

• How to reframe sex as connection, not performance

For unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes on my own dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram, join my Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexa