We all want to get our needs met, but manipulators use underhanded methods. Manipulation is a way to covertly influence someone with indirect, deceptive, or abusive tactics. Manipulation may seem benign or even friendly or flattering, as if the person has your highest concern in mind, but in reality it’s to achieve an ulterior motive. Other times, it’s veiled hostility, and when abusive methods are used, the objective is merely power. You may not realize that you’re being unconsciously intimidated.

If you grew up being manipulated, it’s harder to discern what’s going on, because it feels familiar. You might have a gut feeling of discomfort or anger, but on the surface the manipulator may use words that are pleasant, ingratiating, reasonable, or that play on your guilt or sympathy, so you override your instincts and don’t know what to say. Codependents have trouble being direct and assertive and may use manipulation to get their way. They’re also easy prey for being manipulated by narcissists, borderline personalities, sociopaths, and other codependents, including addicts.

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Is manipulation always a bad thing?
When can it be ok?
When is it not ok?

When you manipulate, why do you do it?
Who do you manipulate and how do you do it? (Give examples)
How does that make you feel?

When are you most likely to be manipulated?
Why do you think this is?

How can you tell when you are being manipulated?
How can you stop being manipulated?
How can you stop manipulating?
How can you get what you want without manipulating?
What is a better way to try to get other people to see your viewpoint and go along with you without being manipulative?

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