It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B!

By Cindy Bigbie, Heather Claypoole, Juliana RodriguezSociety & Culture Health & Fitness Mental Health Education Self-Improvement Relationships

It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B! episodes

June 16, 2021039-Examples of Empathy and Non-Empathy
In this episode, we quickly go over the components of empathy: presence, reflection, and needs guesses. Then, you will hear Dr. B going through a list of "mock" statements and Heather responding - first with reflection, then Other Conversational Responses, and then taking needs guesses. The contrast is done to help people experience, side-by-side, the different kinds of responses. We, especially, would like the listeners to come away with some imaginings of how empathy could sound in a conflict situation.

Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
14 min
June 09, 2021038-"Clean" Pain and "Dirty" Pain
In his book, "My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending our Hearts and Bodies," Resmaa Menakem shares about historical and generational trauma and how it lives in our bodies. Dr. B believes this work is significant and very much aligned with the ability to move or not with NVC skills in the world - to disrupt the trauma epidemic we see playing out around us.

Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
13 min
June 02, 2021037-Mother's Day Brawl
After a conflict that started on Mother's Day, Dr. B and her daughter had a conversation using their NVC skills and it was "quickly" and "sweetly" resolved. Afterwards, Dr. B wished she had recorded the whole thing so that her listeners could hear how this process works in real life situations. Luckily, her daughter was game to come on the show and recreate the conversation so that listeners could hear and, hopefully, learn.
It may see odd to hear this and folks may think it sounds "weird" or "inauthentic" or "rehearsed." But, this was really how the conversation went and it really ended with connection for all. We hope you enjoy a little window into our world.

Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
19 min
May 26, 2021036-Silent Empathy
Sometime out loud empathy may not be connecting and, in those circumstances, silent empathy may be just the ticket.
What is silent empathy? How is it different than just getting quiet in a moment? When is the best time to use silent empathy? When might you want to try a different strategy? All of this is discussed during this week's episode.
Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
10 min
May 19, 2021035-The Three States of Mind
According to author, Steve Taylor, humans have three different states of mind: Abstraction, Absorption, and Attention.
Abstraction is the busy mind, consumed with thoughts about past and future. Our minds are so consumed that we are not plugged into the present moment at all. This is, primarily, where most of us live.
Absorption occurs when we are sucked into some kind of activity and it takes over our mind. Playing a sport, reading a book, watching TV...our minds are so absorbed in the task that we are not present with our immediate experience.
Attention is the state of mind that is most akin to the presence that is so important to the NVC process. It's hard to come by - especially when in conflict and, yet, it can be built.

Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
15 min
May 12, 2021034-Letting Other Know You're in WAIT
WAIT stands for Why Am I Talking or What Am I Thinking? Both are important and serve different roles in the NVC process.
It's important to let the other know that you are WAITING - otherwise there is a lot of room for making up stories and causing further disconnection.
There are a number of ways to share that you are WAITING. Dr. B gives several examples on how to do so.

Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
11 min
May 05, 2021033-Doing It Differently - Part 2
"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking that created them." Dr. B ends this episode with quote from Albert Einstein. This week's guest provides a perfect example of addressing conflict at a very different level of thinking.
By providing this week's example as well as the one on Episode 32, it is our hope to inspire others to try doing conflict in a totally different way.
Of course, if you need support, you can always contact us and/or take a course through The Bigbie Method. Please see contact information below.
Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
12 min
April 28, 2021032-Doing It Differently - Part 1
Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
15 min
April 21, 2021031-I can't hear you!
This episode starts out with some lamenting and some empathy regarding the technical problems with the podcast's audio quality - which were pointed out by a listener.
Dr. B. is a bit frustrated and perplexed about how to go forward and receives empathy from Heather - thus giving our audience an example and reminder of the NVC empathy process.
NVC empathy combines presence, reflecting, and needs guesses.
A listener's email is shared and broken down to show all the places where NVC process was used to share about the technical difficulties. This is done to provide a real-world example on how to write in NVC language.

Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Show Less
14 min
April 14, 2021030-To be (Empathy) or not to be (Empathy)!
On self-connection..."... It's a good habit to get into. I recommend people start doing this when you start a meeting, when you're beginning a class, before you get out of your car in the morning to go to work, just pausing and getting connected with self because often we don't even know what the heck is going on inside there, so then we certainly can't speak from that place," (00:36.6)
"Yeah, I guess I think of NVC is like a super power you can wield and sometimes you can misuse it..."(06:36:0)
"I guess that's what I'm wondering. Is it more harmful to do it in a way that's not in alignment with the process or... I guess anything helps. " (07:55:8)
"It always comes back to connection, is it getting you connection, and if it's not, then that's a place to pause and self-connect and figure out and take a look at what you did or what you didn't do... It's a hard question. I think I'm hearing you ask me, which is, do people need to get it a 100% right, or should you point it out to people? You're just wanting to know, Is it dangerous if people think that they have it and think that they're applying it and they're not actually applying it. And what do you do in those kinds of circumstances?" (08:11:1)
"Often, I have my greatest gains in the process and my greatest learning in the process has to do with when I screw up the process, I don't have the level of connection that I want." (10:41:6)
",, one thing I would love to talk about, since you brought it up, is just to remind people what empathy is and what it's not." (11:41:8)
"but let's just do a couple of minutes of empathy just so people can be reminded of what it is in case you're out there in the world thinking I got this down. We wanna just make sure that you're really truly getting what we're talking about when we're saying NVC empathy, which is staying present, reflecting back what you're hearing someone say, taking needs guesses, and you can do this either out loud or you can do it silently." (13:30:4)

Additional Resources:
Website: https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebigbiemethod
Twitter: @TheBigbieMethod
Instagram: @thebigbiemethod
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cindybigbienvc
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel
Be sure to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and share it with a friend that would get some value!
The Bigbie Method website:
https://www.thebigbiemethod.com
22 min

About It's All About Connection! NVC With Dr. B!

From the publisher's feed

Want to learn how to deepen or create better connection in your life? It's All About Connection, NVC with Dr. B. will show you how. Join Dr. B and her co-host Juliana each week as they share the art…