Junk Food Dinner

This week the JFD boys fall victim to the Randomizer 5000™ and you sadistic listeners who stocked the Randomizer with over 500 crappy movies. In all honesty, it could have ended up MUCH worse. Up first, we take a look at Spike Lee's 2008 flick about a group of black WWII soldiers in Italy who get mixed up with a little kid, a decapitated statue head and weird love triangles in Miracle of St. Anna. Next, Helen Slater (SuperGirl) and Christian Slater (True Romance) are two redneck siblings in southern Texas who confront a sleazy business man after his son trashes their motor scooter. But when the creep gets grabby with Helen Slater, Christian puts a bullet in him and the kids go on the road with their friends Martha Gehman and Yeardley Smith (the voice of Lisa Simpson) in The Legend of Billie Jean from 1985. And finally, M. Night Shyamalan weaves a tale about a apartment manager (Paul Giamatti) who encounters a mythical creature (Bryce Dallas Howard) living in the pool in Lady in the Water from 2006. Also, it's about how M. Night Shyamalan is a genius and film critics are idiots. All this, plus Kevin's stuffed up nose, Oscar talk, experiences with excited teens in the theater, outrage over our Aliens review, Matthew Sweetman partying with food mascots, Nerd News, DVDs and blu-rays of the week, Pat Benetar songs, questionable Asian characters, sneezes and so much more! LISTEN NOW: MP3 Direct Donloyd Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out onFacebook and Twitter! We'll survive another round of Randomizer movies with your love and support. 

This week, we close out our world-famous month-long Sci-Fi Ebruary celebration by closing a significant gap in our TV Miniseries watching histories. But does it contain as much Robert Englund as we expect? If you've always dreamed of vacuum-sealed flesh on top of a lizard face in your science fiction, our Sci-Fi Ebruary blowout episode is gonna deliver for you in crazy spades. First up! Only up! It's V: The Original Miniseries from 1983! Alien Visitors land on earth in this landmark series, which spawned a follow-up and two regular series, as well as novels, toys and a rabid fan-base. Robert Englund and Richard Herd are among the ranks of the visitors, who initial motivations appear to be harmless, until they start controlling the media in this parable of race relations, facism, xenophobia, and paranoia. They claim to be doing so for the greater good, but they're aliens and this is television so they gotta be bad, right? All this plus witty banter between friends, Honey-Glazed Ham FuckStyles, THE RETURN OF THE RANDOMIZER 5000, Rusty's Call-in Chat Show, Raising the Bar So High, Nerd News You Can Use, Our Picks for your DVD Packs, very unusual background noises, Pornographic Callbacks, continued lack of overt police involvement, sneezes, belches, gleeks and a whole lot more! Direct Donloyd Here Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter! We'll unhinge our jaws to devour your love and support.

Sci-Fi Ebruary continues this week as we're invaded by space creatures! Some of them are slimy and evil but some of them are nice, which begs the question - who are the REAL aliens? First, Mark Paul Gosselaar, Mercedes McNab and slacker friends sell a cute, dead (?) extra terrestrial to a TV show in "Beer Money" from 2001. It's a made for the USA Network movie written by JFD favorite Rich Wilkes ("Glory Daze," "The Stoned Age"). Next, after finding photos of aliens at a garage sale, a journalist finds the truth in "Out there." Bobcat Goldthwait, Julie Brown, P.J. Soles and other wacky characters show up in this (also, somehow) made-for-tv movie. Finally, Ripley is back to take out an alien colony in James Camerons' classic "Aliens." How does Cameron's take on Ridley Scott's Xenomorph stack up to the original? Well, Bill Paxton's in this one, so probably pretty well. All this, plus Nerd News, DVDs, breaking Sad Nerd News, an odd lack of an intro, technical troubles, an argument for the ages: Poop or Ross Perot, Sean identifies as an Al Queda, Deadpool Chat, Fuckstyles, late Voicemails and so much more! LISTEN NOW: MP3 Direct Donloyd Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out onFacebook and Twitter! We'll survive the alien invasion with your love and support. 

As we work off the hangover, clean off our tuxes and sweep up the confetti from our 300th episode award ceremony, we take some time to keep Sci Fi-ebruary rolling along by exploring three Japanese sci-fi films. First, we examine a true classic of Japanese kaijū cinema, Mothra from 1961. Directed by Ishirô Honda (Godzilla, Matango, Frankenstein Conquers the World and countless other kaijū classics) this is a tale of two twin fairies who are kidnapped from their island home and made to perform for the people of Japan. However, their protector, Mothra, a giant moth, comes to rescue them leaving nothing but carnage in its path. Next, we get an electrifying jolt of manic black & white cinema, abrasive Japanese noise rock and battles for spiritual supremacy in Electric Dragon 80.000 V from 2001. Director Gakuryû Ishii (who gave us 1982's Burst City) tells the story of a young man who gains special powers from electricity and uses them to rock out and catch lizards until one day he is challenged by another man who knows how to harness the voltage as well. Finally, we get to see a softer side of Takashi Miike (Audition, Ichi the Killer) with his 2004 superhero comedy Zebraman. In this film, Shô Aikawa plays a schlubby teacher who gets no respect from his family or students. He fantasizes about becoming his favorite superhero from the 70's, Zebraman, until one day, he and a wheelchair-bound student discover that the events of the Zebraman TV show are actually starting to happen in the real world and it's up to them to be heroes. All this, plus Super Bowl movie trailer roundup, Civil War comic books, calls from Australia, Matthew Sweetman, Nerd News, DVDs and blu-rays of the week, questionable English dubbing, the gender politics of giant monsters, Japanese rock songs, cosplaying as a crab on the streets of Tokyo, and so much more! LISTEN NOW: MP3 Direct Donloyd Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out onFacebook and Twitter! We'll survive a giant monster invasion with your love and support. 

It's been a long, hard road to three hundred podcasts, but we truly did it. We couldn't have done it without you, the Junk Food Junkies out there, and to thank you we've put together a heckuva evening of entertainment for your podcasting pleasures. To celebrate our first 300 episodes, we pick movies from our long and storied past to nominate for the following award categories... This is the Dumbest Movie I ever Saw / Cool Movie: Movie we've changed our mind on It Gives You a Boner: Sexiest Movie What Are You, a Ghoul?: Movie your significant other cringes at All Englishmen are Ugly: Worst British Person My Friend Barry Holt w/ the Chubby Cheek Face: Best Character in a movie Heavy Doobies: Best movie to watch high Relax During Entertainment: Movie we've watched most Midgets are the Rats of Humans: Best Little Person Actor Mr. Perfect Hey!: JFD Hall of Fame Inductee We also check in with The Snack Pack on our Junkmail Line, who variously wish us well and wish us worse. And maybe even a few special surprises if you keep the dream alive in your heart. All this plus witty banter between friends, Butthorn Business Cards, Double Edged Incest Movie Swords, Butthead Feldman’s Beavis Impression, Australia Censorship Has Gone Too Far, Real-time Amazon shopping, A Celebration of Salt Penis & The Evolution of Strong Politics, No Nerd News or DVD Picks, continued lack of overt police involvement, sneezes, belches, gleeks and a whole lot more! Direct Donloyd Here Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter! We'll cast another 300 pods for your love and support.

Sci Fi Ebruary is here!! This week is dedicated to those old timey movies your grampa saw at a drive in circa 1959. First, Steve McQueen, middle-aged, plays a teenage rebel who's Smalltown, USA's only hope against an organism that crash lands via a comet in 1958's "The Blob." The movie's a classic that revolutionized horror and sci fi films, but does it hold up? Only we can decide. Next, a Creature of the Black Lagoon wannabe terrorizes a small California coastal town in 1959's "The Monster of Piedras Blancas." The movie is notable for its sex and violence. And for its poseur Creature. Finally, little green men invade a different Smalltown, USA and get everyone drunk and then fight the local livestock in "Invasion of the Saucer-men" from 1957. All this, plus Nerd News, DVDs, The Year of Feldman continues, feelin' like grandpas, gettin' ready for episode 300 and so much more! Direct Donloyd Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out onFacebook and Twitter! We'll survive the winter with your love and support.

Well folks, we're officially in the icy grip of winter, so why not embrace the cold by partying with your Junk Food Dinner bros and three winter-themed movies. Up first is the low-budget regional horror flick Winterbeast from 1992. This strange piece of straight-to-video history was shot over the course of several years and features stop-motion monster madness, a dildo that no one acknowledges, more plaid than you can shake a stick at and a truly disturbing scene featuring a clown mask, a children's record and some corpses. Also, despite this film's title and cover art, it doesn't actually take place during winter. Next, we discuss A Simple Plan from 1998. No, not that shitty pop-punk band, the Sam Raimi flick starring Bill Paxton, Bridget Fonda and William Robert Thornton about a group of small town folk who find a bag of money in a crashed airplane and decide to keep it. But like a Biggy song come to life, mo' money means mo' problems and shit gets real. And finally, Charles Bronson is a prisoner with a secret being transported on train filled with Civil War soldiers, but things quickly escalate when people start ending up dead in Breakheart Pass from 1975. All this plus witty banter between friends, Parker avoiding illness, Kyle from Kentucky, a caller obsessed with numerals, Nerd News & Blu-ray Picks, movies inspired by t-shirts, defense of Sam Raimi's middle period, Mexican Ozzy, continued lack of police involvement and so much more! LISTEN NOW: MP3 Direct Donloyd Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out onFacebook and Twitter! We'll survive the winter with your love and support. 

Speaking of movies that have been made, it's another round of weird-ass cult movie reviews from your pals at Junk Food Dinner. We meet up with murderous punk rockers, hospital aliens, and not one but two Coreys. Skipping this episode is a bozo no-no. First up! No-budget punksploitation has never been so sleazy! It's 1984 Los Angeles, and local zine We Got Power and film maker David Markey got together with local band Redd Kross to slap together this story of a girl-punk band gone awry, with influences ranging from Russ Meyer to John Waters. Featuring matricide! It's Desperate Teenage Lovedolls! Up next! You may have heard of "Green Monkey" and you've probably heard of "Insect!". You've also heard of "Inseminátor" and "Invasion of the Bodysuckers." But have you heard that these are all titles for the same 1987 alien-invading-a-hospital horror flick? Well, they are and it is called Blue Monkey and we watched it. Finally! It's a classic tale of body swapping (or is it?) It features performances by both Corey's (or does it?) The only thing that's certain is that 1989's Dream A Little Dream is discussed. We think. All this plus witty banter between friends, Health Insurance premiums, Night Train to Terrible???, Buttery Burgers, Musical Junkmail, The Sweetest Man Alive, Controversial Deaths on the Record, Nerd News & DVD Picks, continued lack of overt police involvement, sneezes, belches, gleeks and a whole lot more! Direct Donloyd Here Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter! We'll fartbox a small car on a long roadtrip for your love and support.

This week's episode is indescribable, unspeakable and cosmically horrifying. It's an H.P. Lovecraft theme show! (Well, mostly.) HP New Year! First, a story so Lovecraftian it isn't even based on Lovecraft at all! Lucio Fulci's "City of the Living Dead" (aka "Gates of Hell") from 1980 is a tale of a journalist and a psychic tasked with stopping the gates of hell from opening after a priest commits suicide. It's also the tale of a homeless pedophile. For some reason. Next, Stuart Gordon adapts a short story for 1985's "From Beyond." The director teams back up with Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton ("Re-Animator") for this tale of scientists who accidentally discover that monsters are all around them constantly. Finally, Jeffrey Combs returns as Lovecraft himself in the anthology film "Necronomicon" from 1993. Brian Yuzna, Christophe Gans, Shusuke Kaneko each direct a story based on the author's works. The tales include squid monsters, reanimation and demonic space bats. All this, plus Nerd News, DVDS, Binders full of women, Old Zealand, Tom Cruise Chat, Who's the REAL Freado?, Voicemails, friendly chat, the possibility of a beautiful boob slipping out and so much more. Donloyd Here Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line at [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865). Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out on Facebook and Twitter! We'll wrestle Cthulhu for your love and support.

It's 2016 and Junk Food Dinner wants to wish you a Happy NUDE Year! We kick things off by recounting our favorite (and least favorite) films of the past year, 2015. Does Parker like Star Wars? Has Sean come around to Mad Max: Fury Road? Tune in and find out! Then things get erotic(?) as we scope out three very odd and very different sex films. Up first, two drunken hillbillies trade insults as the sloppily try to perform oral sex on each other until the are interrupted by a chick in a homemade Batman costume in the worst porno ever, Bat Pussy from 1973. Then, Herbert W. Day (AKA Jerry Stahl) and Rinse Dream (AKA Stephen Sayadian), the guys who brought us Dr. Caligari, take us on a surreal erotic journey to a bizarre future where nuclear fallout has turned half the population into sexless mutants who come from miles around to watch Michelle Bauer and a host of other art/porn stars go at it in Café Flesh from 1982. And finally, if you ever flipped through HBO and Cinemax late at night back in the 90's, chances are you probably saw some of The Bikini Carwash Company II from 1993. In this installment, the bikini carwash girls have gone corporate, but wouldn't you know it, the greedy fat cats are trying to screw them out of their company. Luckily, in this alternate reality, getting nude can solve all of life's problems. All this plus witty banter between friends, cheeseburger reviews, drunk driving tips, how to start a road trip mix, rap cassingle chat, disrespect of Ed Helms, Parker's pop-punk round up, audio clips of redneck bickering, naughty jazz songs and a whole lot more! LISTEN NOW: MP3 Direct Donloyd Got a movie suggestion for the show, want to give your opinion on a movie we talked about or just want to tell us we suck? Drop us a line [email protected]. Or leave us a voicemail: 347-746-JUNK (5865).Also, if you like the show, please take a minute and subscribe and/or comment on us on iTunes, Stitcher, Blubrry or Podfeed.net. Check us out onFacebook and Twitter! We'll dress up as Santa Claus and shoot at people for your love and support.