In this episode of *Ask Kat & Steve*, we answered a listener’s question about navigating the complexities of blended families. She asked how to handle the difficult, messy moments and how to eventually feel like she fits in as part of a real and authentic family. This is a question that hits home for us because we’ve lived it, and we know how challenging those “ick” moments can feel when everything seems out of sync. 

Steve and I shared the key principles we come back to time and again: honest communication and understanding the unique dynamics of the kids in the family. It’s about paying attention to their triggers, quirks, and egos—knowing what sets them off and how to bring them back to their relaxed, authentic state of being. It’s not about fixing them but holding space for who they are while remaining grounded ourselves. No easy feat may I add!

We also talked about the work we do on ourselves, which is the foundation for everything. If we’re not checking in with our own triggers and patterns, we can’t show up as the united front the kids need. Blended families aren’t about pretending to be perfect or forcing connection; it’s about consistently doing the work to build trust, create safety, and let the relationships evolve naturally. It’s a beautiful mess.

Buy my book - AUS, EUR, USA
1:1 coach with me - Book a 20-minute call now
Hold onto the rope - The letter your teenager can't write you
Write into us - let us know what you want to hear

Support the show