In this episode, Steve and I revisit a story from my book that says a lot about how many of us enter relationships in the beginning: a little bit false.

When we first got together, Steve was a pizza-eating machine. Every time I went to his place, pizza was ordered. I didn’t even want pizza. But I went along with it. I wanted to be easy. Agreeable. Low maintenance. Cool.

Inside, I knew what I actually wanted but I didn’t say it.

That small moment became a much bigger realisation: if I’m being “cool” about pizza when I don’t want it, where else in my life am I abandoning myself because I fear losing what I have? 

We talk about how many of us shape-shift early in relationships out of fear of being difficult, too much, hard work, or ultimately, unlovable. Showing up false isn’t sustainable. Eventually, the real you arrives anyway.

Relationships don’t deepen when we perform, they deepen when the real person finally walks into the room.

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