Lately, Steve and I have been making a real effort to focus on gratitude, and it’s been a game changer. It’s easy to fall into the trap of noticing what the other hasn’t done, isn’t doing, or the little habits that get under your skin. But with gratitude, it shifts where our attention goes. Instead of zeroing in on what’s missing, we’re paying attention to what’s right in front of us—what we *are* doing for each other.

It’s not fluffy or forced, either. Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect, but it keeps us from getting stuck in the usual patterns of taking things for granted. Steve doesn’t need to do anything huge to make me feel appreciated. It’s the small stuff, like how he’ll step up and do something I didn’t expect, or even just his consistency that I might’ve overlooked before. When I take a second to actually notice, it shifts my mindset from irritation to, "Yeah, he’s got my back."

And the thing is, when we make gratitude a habit, it creates less space for resentment to build. We all have annoying habits or things we forget to do, but when we’re genuinely practicing gratitude, those things don’t seem as big of a deal. It keeps the focus on what’s working, and we end up appreciating each other more for it. It’s not magic, but it definitely helps keep things in perspective.

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