Life Uncut

Hey lifers!

Tonight is the first night of our new TV show and we’re so excited to unpack the ins and outs of MAFS. 

How does burnout feel for you? Laura had a conversation about interpreting ‘normal’ requests as threats when you’re at the point of burnout and how it’s showing up in every facet of her life at the moment.

Are you good at spotting a liar? How about when it’s your own children? Laura can’t tell when her kids are telling the truth or when they’re conspiring to tell perfect fibs. They could be great actors or Laura could be really gullible!

We need to talk about the Wuthering Heights chaos. Britt and Keeshia went to the Australian premiere last week and give their takes on what they thought of the in person versions of Margot and Jacob.

We unpack whether book adaptations should stay close to the actual story line and why there’s so much criticism about this particular adaptation. We also ask “Why does Hollywood keep adapting the same stories instead of creating new ones?” 

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!

Vibes for the week:

Britt - Kidnapped: Elizabeth Smart on Netflix 
Keeshia - Karcher K2 Power Control Pressure Washer
Laura - @stevenwommack 

Then we jump into your questions!

19 WEEKS PREG AND CANNOT STAND MY PARTNER
I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant and cannot stand my partner. It feels like everything he does makes me mad. We are currently getting our old house ready to sell so he is spending A LOT of his afternoons there but I struggle with the fact that I’m left to do the majority of the housework at our new place. I feel as though I’m always stuck doing the housework even since before sprucing up the old house. He keeps telling me it will be better once the old place sells but I just don’t believe it. The other part is I am SO sick of being asked the same questions over and over. For example, what weekend something is on or when the next appointment is etc. It also feels as though he asks questions just so he doesn’t have to use his own brain but it’s also ALL the damn time!! I am going crazy. Please help.

I CHEATED ON MY HUSBAND AND THE OTHER GUY HAS GONE COLD, I FEEL USED AND GUILT
I don’t really know where to start and it’s killing me ! I’m Married with 3 kids . My marriage the last year or more has been really up and down. We have had a lot of separation talk .Both of us are not very happy but both are probably too scared to leave.  In October I was out and met this guy (friend of a friend ) . Nothing happened. We added each other on insta and started talking. It went from texts to every morning and night phone call on the way to work. He lives a few hours away from me but comes to where I live once a month . He is also a dad with kids .
We spoke for a whole month. It was quite in depth about how our lives could work together if his ex would let him move with the kids to where I live. The chemistry was crazy. I've never ever had that. Fast forward, he came back a month later with his mum and kids and we met up several times and slept together a few times. I met the fam and his kids. I was ready to give it a shot and be together. I was even willing to do long distance. After this he went back home and spoke to his ex who said he is not allowed to move with the kids. Then everything totally shifted. We went from talking every day to nothing. He keeps saying he wigged out cuz I’m married still, and he feels bad about what happened. He doesn’t wanna be the reason to break a family. He also said that he won’t do long distance. He has gone so cold and so quiet. I feel like he is avoidant. A few weeks ago he came back to where I live and no text, no call, nothing. Bare minimum messages and acting like he didn’t give a shit. I’m actually sick to my stomach about how the hell it changed so quickly. I feel used and ick. My husband and I are still together . He is a good man but I feel like I’m not a priority to him and all and we are absolutely roommates. I’ve never ever been unfaithful in my marriage before and would have never unless it meant something. I’m left so confused and gutted. I can’t stop thinking about this other guy and I never really hear from him anymore. I’m so bloody confused. How can you be so hot and then go so ice cold? He has almost turned a little mean towards me. I don’t know what I am asking but I needed to vent to someone!

CAN I CHASE UP PEOPLE WHO DON’T GIVE A WEDDING GIFT?
My future husband and I are having our wedding in 5 weeks and something that is playing on our minds is people forgetting or not giving us a wedding gift - money haha. I know it sounds ridiculous but I couldn’t imagine going to someone’s wedding and not giving a gift. Would it be bad if we were to send an email saying our thank you and if you forgot or haven't sent your wedding gift to us here are our details? We would word it better as well.

CAN YOU BE A REFORMED CHEATER?
Can someone be a reformed cheater without any personal work or voluntary accountability? For context, I recently found out my long term partner has a history of cheating. It’s never been to the point of sex, but at some point in all of his past relationships he has looked elsewhere for some kind of attention or sexual validation. For example, sexting other girls. I also found out this happened to me early on in our relationship, which has been very devastating. This is something I have asked him about before, and he has now admitted to lying to me about it because he didn’t want to be ‘branded’ in that way and thought I wouldn’t forgive him. He reflects that he feels bad and wouldn’t do it again. My issue is that I feel he is only taking accountability now because he has no other option now that I found out. Do you think it’s possible that this type of pattern of behavior does just stop on its own (because of maturity/growth or finding the right relationship) or does it require conscious personal work and reflection?

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to Offcuts where we chat about whatever piqued our interest this week in a light, fun little package to send you off on your weekend!

We chat:

• Is accepting your Olympic medal the time to confess your cheating ways?
• What happened with Bumble’s “women first” ethos?
• Laura's calling bullsh*t on the amount of people using their phone during sex
• Margot Robbie's attack on torsos
• Do you know someone who plays the 'dicktim'?
  
  

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford and Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we’re talking with Reuben Williams, whose journey through the justice system will open up one of the hardest but most necessary conversations we can have. Australia has been watching the case of Tom Silvagni for the past few months; a man from a high-profile sporting family who was found guilty by a jury of raping a woman. He has since filed an appeal.

That case has reignited debates about how sexual violence is handled, how suppression orders can protect perpetrators, and what survivors face when they speak out.

Reuben is unfortunately familiar with how the ‘system’ works, not just as a commentator, but as someone who went through the legal process himself.

We speak about what actually happens when someone reports sexual assault in Australia, why justice rarely feels just, and how power, fame, privilege and suppression orders can distort truth and accountability.

We also speak about:

• How and why Reuben advocated for himself and sought a level of justice
• Reuben’s court case and the process he went through
• His advocacy for survivors when people on the internet make comments like “they don’t look like a victim”
• The impact that coming forward has had on him
• Facing the perpetrator in person
• The tactics that defence attorneys use
• Removing 'good character' references

If this conversation does bring anything up for you, support is available at 1800 RESPECT 

You can find more from Reuben here 

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Keeshia Pettit 

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers!

It’s another rough start today but not as rough as Britt’s Italian language skills. She’s been trotting around saying something wildly inappropriate. She’s also had the internet come for her after she attempted a different language. While she can’t understand most comments because they’re written in other languages, emojis are universal!

Laura has reached a point of sleep deprivation that’s got her wondering which way is up. She’s remembering the last time she went through this and it’s bringing up some… memories.
Keeshia’s been stitched up with a licence photo and she’s now stuck with it for 10 years.

We’re diving into the super bowl! The halftime show is usually more watched and talked about than the game itself, and this year was bigger than ever. There was a lot of talk in the lead up about whether this half time show was going to be a political statement and what that statement would be. Bad Bunny gyrated all over an incredible Puerto Rican themed set. We unpack all of the Easter Eggs, messaging and ‘family friendly, all American’ alternative show that was offered by the controversial organisation turning point.

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!

Vibes for the week:

Britt - account @aaronparnas 
Keeshia - The Rest Is Classified. Epstein Files Declassified: Was He A Spy? 

Laura - Lacevo bra breast pump 

Then we jump into your questions!

BF GAVE UP SMOKING THEN STARTED AGAIN YEARS LATER, AND NOW WONT STOP

My partner and I have been in a relationship for 6 years and he was a smoker when we met (maybe 2-3 cigarettes a day) but I even said to him on our first date that I never wanted to marry someone who smoked. It’s always been a no go for me - very scared of the consequences and what might happen if he continued to always smoke. Anyway, at the time (v early days of dating) he told me that he would quit one day and definitely didn’t want to always be a smoker forever. In fact, he said he would quit before we ever got engaged. And he did. He quit over 3 years ago, for a period of about a year until one day he had a falling out with his dad and was suddenly smoking again. He hasn’t stopped since and we’ve had conversations (as I have been seriously disappointed by it) and he said “fuck that promise, I smoke, either get over it or leave me”. I’m 6 years in now mate, I wish it was that simple. He clearly has no plans of quitting and I don’t wanna break up. What should I do? Btw we’re not engaged yet - but we’ve been planning our long term future forever. And he is my person, but this habit. It’s soul destroying for me. I wish he would just change because I know I can’t make him.

AM I CAPABLE OF LOVE?!
I've been with my husband for 8,5 years and married for 3 and we have 2 kids (4 and 2). He's not my first long-term relationship, I had one for 5 years and a few shorter ones way back in my teens. I'm just not sure if I've ever been in love? I (like any parent) love my kids with my entire being, I love my family and friends etc, and while my husband is a great guy and I'm very fond of him (lol), I'm not sure I've ever been in love. My goal was to always have kids (told him that on our first date) and my mum always said to pick a guy who'd be a good dad (my own is definitely meh and that's a whole other story to unpack). I knew he'd be a fantastic dad, which he is, and I think that's a big part of why I committed. Am I awful? Our home life is nice, we have fun and all, but would I be a better person if I "set him free" and let him find love he deserves?

HOUSEWORK DIVISION

My husband works 40 hours per week in a job that he doesn't particularly like but he has to ride it out a bit longer. I work the regular 37.5 hours in a job that I love. Should I be doing approx 2.5 hours more housework than he is? (Not that I would actually count it- more just the principle). He has never suggested this and is simply the BEST guy, but I find myself sometimes a bit resentful that he's not on the ball with house things as much as I am, and doesn't do quite as much... Mostly because I beat him to it. He's not good at remembering all of those little things like 'coffee machine deep clean' etc. Then the other day it occurred to me: should I be okay with doing more because he works more? Again, he has never mentioned this, and is such a golden-retriever, beautiful, kind man. For context: he is very clean and generally amazing to live with. We don't have kids or a dog: just the two of us! We will start having kids next year hopefully 😊

DAYCARE AND MUM GUILT

I have a question I’d love to hear Laura talk about as she has little kids(and obviously get Brit’s ideas on too because she’s AMAZING) I’m a working mum. I work as a lawyer and I’ve always worked full time. I just had my first baby (he’s 4 months old) and I’m thinking about when I go back to work (probably when he’s 10 months old) and putting him in daycare. I’m feeling mum guilt about this so I’d love to hear your thoughts on being a working mum and will my baby be ok and still thrive as a daycare kid.

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to Offcuts where we chat about whatever piqued our interest this week in a light, fun little package to send you off on your weekend!
Britt is starting her weekend with a fresh shot of nutrients that came directly from Laura!

We chat:

• A 7 year situationship seems to sum up modern dating life
• The AI chatbots are bitching about humans
• How important is height?

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford and Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Beauty standards are a set of rules and guidelines that we’ve spoken about hundreds of times before. We live in a time where it feels hard to keep up with them. We’ve discussed how pretty privilege can quite literally make you more successful in your career, the halo effect and how people with more symmetrical faces are viewed as more trustworthy. But, today we are taking a deep dive into how much social media and AI have changed the way that we view ourselves and if they’re to blame for the impossible beauty ideals that we are expected to live up to!

Today we’re joined by someone who has spent years studying the way beauty culture shapes us, pressures us, and sometimes totally warps how we see ourselves.

Carly, or Carlz J Söda, is a photographer and a researcher and her thesis looks into how social media, AI, and beauty standards collide and what that collision is doing to our sense of self.

We speak about:

• How we all seem to anticipate criticism that we might get for the way we look, and change ourselves before anyone else has the opportunity to criticise us
• The concept of ‘digital lateral surveillance’ - a theory of how we police each other 
• How facetune and photoshop have affected us psychologically
• Are we to blame for AI’s ‘beauty ideals?’
• The cost of ‘beauty’
• The Kardashians being victims of the beauty standards that they themselves perpetuate
• How the selfie camera distorts what you look like

You can find more from Carlz at her instagram and her website

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Keeshia Pettit 

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey Lifers,

Britt is brimming with salmon…sperm. Welcome to your Wednesday!
We’ve been nominated for an AACTA and Britt’s planned outfit is giving Chapel Roan at the Grammy’s but sheer on the other end.
Britt’s received a particularly strange gift from Ben and she wasn’t sure whether she should be offended or be grateful for it’s practicality.
Laura’s daughter Marlie Mae has been so brave and decided to busk on the busy streets of Noosa. She’s been very successful and it’s left Laura wondering if it was a good or a terrible parenting decision.

Kanye, now Ye, West has taken out an ad in the Wall Street Journal apologising for antisemetic and racist behaviour. But is it a marketing tactic?

We unpack the apology that Ye took out last week and whether the timing is just a bit too convenient for us to think that it’s sincere when he has a new album coming out next month. We also chat about the complexities of conversations like this when it comes to discussing psychiatric illness and being accountable for immense harm and fuelling hate.
You can read the whole statement here 

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Britt Hockley & Laura Byrne

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford & Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deepest dilemmas and offer our most passionate, ‘lived in’ (technically unqualified) advice. We’ve got dilemmas of our own and it involves needing to shave our faces… Someone from our facebook group (that you can join here Facebook Discussion Group) is participating in top tier girl code and gamer boy better look out!

Vibes for the week:
Laura - UK Traitors Season 4 
Keeshia - Mad Mabel by Sally Hepworth 

Then we jump into your questions!

I’M A SW BUT DON’T HAVE SEX WITH PARTNER OF 10 YEARS
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 10 years and we essentially don’t have sex — but he constantly guilts me about it. For context, I’m a sex worker and he spent many years seeing sex workers before we met. We’ve always had an open relationship, and I’m okay with not having sex together given the rest of our relationship is amazing. The issue is that I don’t enjoy sex with him — there’s no seduction, no initiation, and it often feels rushed, painful, and disconnected. I’ve tried explaining that effort and communication matter, but he becomes defensive and turns it into “you sleep with your clients but not me.” Even my clients put more care into my experience than he does (I don’t tell him this). We avoid talking about it because he gets immature and blames me. How do I handle the guilt and resentment, and is this something that can actually be fixed — or am I ignoring a bigger problem?

IS IT CHEATING IF THEY’RE TEXTING BOTS?
Is it considered cheating if your significant other is on apps (e.g telegram) and is messaging “bots” ? A friend of mine has been in a relationship for around 10 months and recently found out her boyfriend had been sending messages to these bots. The messages are on the flirtier side - the bots send through an image of a woman (mostly AI) with minimal clothing and her boyfriend would reply with “” or “looking good” etc. These bots also comment on his appearance, saying he’s hot and sexy etc. She has said that it is cheating and she wants to break up with him as he is seeking sexual validation and attention from these bots. Would love your take on this!

PARTNERS COMING TO GIRLS CATCH UPS?
I am currently on parental leave. Twice this week I have made plans to meet different friends for walks and coffees with their bubbas, and when I arrived, their partners were there as they are on paternity leave! I really love their partners and it’s great to spend time with them too, but I find it strange that in both cases neither decided to give a heads up. Isn’t this just good manners to give a heads up if someone else is joining? But since it happened twice with two different people I'm just thinking maybe I'm overreacting?

JOKES ABOUT HARRY STYLE BEING MY HALL PASS AND BF IS UPSET
I love my boyfriend of four years. He is caring, kind and makes me feel so safe. Recently as you would have heard, Harry Styles is releasing new music. I was very excited about this (as a long time one direction and Harry fan!) and suggested to my boyfriend that we try to get tickets to his upcoming tour! He immediately got upset and said he would never go to a Harry style concert with me again. We went a couple of years ago when Harry was last touring. And apparently he was uncomfortable with how excited I got during the concert and from a joke I made about Harry being my hall pass, and saying how much I love him. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, but he feels like I was seriously inferring that I want to cheat on him. I think it’s quite common to joke about celebrity crushes and I would have no issue with home saying the same about dua lipa, for example. I don’t even remember this conversation, because I don’t think I said anything serious. I told him that I must have been making a joke about my celebrity hall pass, and that obviously I don’t actually wish to cheat on him with Harry Styles. It really bothers me that he has been bothered about this for years and never once brought it up with me until now. It’s also hurtful to me that he actually believes that I would want to cheat on him, if given the chance. We’re now not talking, and I think the whole argument is completely ridiculous. Help! What should I do?

IS IT SELFISH TO NOT SHARE MY BABYSITTER DEETS TO FRIENDS?
I am in a big circle of expat friends all with kids all with no family around (aka family who also double up as babysitters on occasion lol). Myself and my partner have recently started to organise some nights out again  now that the kids are a little older- 4 and 2. Like I said we've no immediate family here and only 1 lady in our daycare offers babysitting- which my friend already uses and we tend to do things together within our expat circle. Anyway I found a lovely girl offering babysitting on Facebook, organised a meet up to do a vibe check, checked her credentials and we had some mutual friends from home which I contacted and she checked out. She is great and my kids loved her. She has babysat for us twice in the last 5 months and it's such a relief to know we have someone that we can rely on!.. which leads me to my question.. a friend has asked for my babysitter's details. Am I the ahole for not wanting to share them

You can watch us on Youtube

Find us on Instagram

Join us on tiktok

Or join the Facebook Discussion Group

Hosted by Laura Byrne &  Keeshia Pettit 

Produced by Keeshia Pettit

Video Produced by Vanessa Beckford Lachy Pugsley

Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell your friend and share the love because WE LOVE LOVE! Xx

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.