Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack all of your deep and burning questions. Britt is broken from dancing and we decided it was the right time to have a bit of an intervention with her. She is upset by Laura and Keeshia going behind her back but they're sticking to their nostrils.
Vibes for the week:
Britt and Laura - Devil in the family on Disney plus
Keeshia - Koala Luxe Mattress
Then we jump into your questions!
HOW DO I GET MY IDENTITY BACK AS A MUM?
I want to start off by saying I absolutely love being a mum and I am grateful everyday that I have two beautiful girls. This didn’t come easy for my partner and I and had a few losses along our journey. My question is how do you find your identity after becoming a mum? My youngest is 12 weeks old and oldest is 2 and right now my life is consumed with being a mum. I feel a bit lost and find myself missing who I was before. I avoid mirrors when I can because I don’t recognise the person looking back at me. I want to be the best role model for my girls and I’m worried if I can’t find myself again I won’t be able to do this for them. During the labour of my second I was listening to random episodes of the Podcast to take my mind off the contractions. I didn’t realise I still had my headphones on when I started to push and my daughter was born to the sound of Britt's laugh!
SHOULD I HOOK UP WITH HIM AGAIN AFTER I SH*T DURING SEX?
My ex and I broke up in October. Recently, we’ve been reconnecting for a bit of company and casual fun. Last weekend, I popped over to his place for a chill lunch hangout, which of course eventually led to some steamy playtime. It was one of those really hot days, so we decided to have a shower session. Things got hot and steamy, and he started touching me in all the right places with his hand. As things really started to heat up I said “Fuck me!” He replied with a cautious “babe,” but when I turned back - I was hit with a shock I’ll never forget. His finger was covered in a thick smear of gooey, brown diarrhoea. It was my first time experiencing such an unsexy disaster, and needless to say, I was mortified. We quickly washed off, agreeing that “we can’t come back from this one.” Now it’s become a core memory I can’t shake. So here’s my dilemma: should I put the brakes on our casual escapades, or might a second round (with a strategic bathroom break this time) help us wipe the slate clean?
HOW TO TELL MY HUSBAND HE HAS NEVER MADE ME COME?
I’m a female, married and am in my late 20’s. I’ve always enjoyed sex, but as I’ve gotten older, my sex drive has declined. This has become a point of tension in my marriage, as my husband has always maintained his sex drive. In an effort to reconnect with my body and bring some excitement back into our sex life, I recently bought my first vibrator. While exploring, I made an embarrassing discovery—I’ve never actually orgasmed from my husband or most past partners, and I’ve always wondered if I even could. However, I did experience it once with a previous partner, which has made this realisation even more confusing. Now, I’ve learned that I can do it myself, and I don’t quite know how to process that. I love my husband deeply, and I know this revelation would hurt him. I don’t want him to feel inadequate, but I also want to be honest so that we can improve our intimacy together. How do I approach this conversation?
HOLIDAY WITH FRIEND OR SEE LONG DIST POTENTIAL LOML?
Last year I went on a uni exchange. In the last few weeks there I met a British guy who I genuinely believe could be my person. Since then we have kept in contact, and have met in Bali and again back in the uk for a few weeks later in the year. My dilemma now is that I have agreed to go on a cruise with my friend in April. For context with this friend: she has been my best friend for a few years but because of some things that happened last year, she now lives with my ex boyfriend (of four years) and a few other people who don’t run in my circle anymore. This has made our relationship challenging recently and this cruise (with her entire family) could really be a make or break situation for us. HOWEVER - I have just found out that this is the only time in the entire year (he studies med and gets little holidays) that my British boy would be able to come out and visit for a few weeks. Having the cruise smack bang in the middle of these weeks means that the trip wouldn’t be worth the money for him if I’m only going to be there half the time (we’re broke uni students!!!). SO my question is: how terrible of a friend am I, and/or will this ruin my friendship if I prioritise seeing the potential love of my life over this cruise with my best friend?Also a bit more context: she was SO excited when I told her I was going to come on the cruise, and has not been overly supportive of this British man I’ve been obsessing over. So I really feel like me doing this would be taken very personally and I’m worried that we potentially won’t fully come back from it. But it also feels like if I can take the opportunity to see him then I should.
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