Life Uncut

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your deep, burning questions!
There’s a new dating term called ‘shrekking’ and we feel as though it’s mean but it also has us questioning if we have ever been shrekked!

Vibes this week:

Britt - Hostage on Netflix

Laura - Tom organic maternity pads 

Keeshia - 70s Easy Listening Mix on spotify

Then we jump into your questions!

SON NO LONGER CELEBRATES MOTHERS DAY WITH ME ON THE DAY BECAUSE OF HIS WIFE
I have been a mother for 35 years and we have always celebrated Mother’s Day on the Sunday that mother’s day is … but now my daughter in law has hijacked it and now I have to meet my son and other kids on the Saturday before , because now Mothers Day is all about her. I have put up with it and haven’t said anything to my son , because I don’t want to put him in a bad position, but I’m really hurt by it. I think it’s really selfish that she doesn’t see how the situation would make me feel. We should be celebrating the day all together. Do I speak to them about it or just let it go?

NEW BF LET ANOTHER GIRL SLEEP IN HIS BED FOR 3 WEEKS
I was recently dating a guy (in the very early days, 6-8 dates in) & he had a German nanny/au pair staying with him & his mates for 3 weeks to help a friend out. He has 3 female housemates, and this German girl could have stayed in any of their 3 beds, or on their massive 5 seater lounge, but instead, he let her share his Queen bed with him for the 3 weeks. He claimed it was ‘purely platonic’ and that I had nothing to worry about.

I found this quite odd though, and it made me question his intentions (with both of us). When I went over to his place on our 5th or so date, he had to text her asking her not to come into his (/her) room while I was there. All of her stuff was in his ensuite & on his bedside table. I made a ‘joke’ about how weird it was. He got defensive & accused me of being insecure, saying ‘this isn’t going to work if you get jealous every time I talk to another girl.’ He also insisted that this was a normal thing to do, to allow someone to share your bed without having sex with them. I don’t think it is, but I felt almost gaslit when I questioned him. What are your thoughts? I know we were not technically in an exclusive relationship yet, but we’d established from the get go that neither of us were casual daters & that we were dating for a life partner.

DOES MY FRIEND WANT TO BE ME/ALWAYS COPYING ME
So I have a situation where one of my good friends keeps copying everything that I do. At first it was cute and I tried to see it as a little bit of flattery but now it’s getting to the point where it’s incredibly irritating. It started off with small things like she started doing reformer Pilates because I was doing it, she then started with the exact same nutrition coach that I am using, she purchased a Stanley cup because I have one, she joined the exact same gym that I go to even though there are multiple closer to her, she got Botox in her jaw the same day that I told her I was getting mine done and more recently has planned a trip to New Zealand three days after me telling her I was going to New Zealand. At what point is this just fucking weird and how do I stop myself from losing my shit every time I find out she’s done something identical to me? For context this is just a few examples there are way way more.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

What's on the show:

• Britt's Hand Hygiene Rant
• Unpacking the 'MyBoyfriendisAI' Reddit thread
• There's a new trend of buying kids landline phones
• Matt experience a very unfortunate series of events this week
• What photo did you share that got you in trouble?

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Climate is something that we know people care about. It’s something I think a lot of us have anxiety about and feel somewhat helpless around. 

It’s also not usually the most sexy or humorous topic; but today’s guest has somehow found the ability to interconnect all of those things in her brand new book “Nature’s last dance”. Today we are joined by Natalie Kyriacou! Natalie is an award-winning environmentalist, writer, public speaker, and company director. She was awarded the Medal of the Order of Australia and the Forbes 30 Under 30 honour for her services to wildlife and environmental conservation in 2018.
Today we wanted to speak about our environmental footprint, some misunderstandings in how we view nature, and whether we are completely f*cked when it comes to climate.

But we actually start this chat by Nat telling us that it’s likely the current prime minister thinks she vaginal steams… 

We chat:

• Why younger generations seem to be more passionate about climate change and nature destruction
• The big organisations and systems that point the finger and tell you to use a reusable cup
• The fashion industry’s impact on our environment
• Conspicuous consumption - the peacocking of social status
• Are the damages to our environment too far gone to ‘correct course’?
• How climate disasters disproportionately affect women
• What we can all do to help
• “Greenwashing” and being brand aware
• Why the price of chocolate is going to skyrocket because of nature
• Animals and the cute curse
• The ejaculation helmet
• Bonobos and their giant clits

You can get a copy of Nature’s Last Dance 

Follow Nat on Instagram 

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Hey lifers!!

Laura had a surprise baby shower and both Britt and Keeshia were terrible friends and missed it!
Last week we offended some of y’all by saying that it was ‘weird’ to have a photo of just yourself as your own phone background… we’re sorry not sorry.

If you’re in the dating world it’s likely that you’ve got an opinion on dating apps. It’s likely that that opinion is “I hate them and I’m exhausted by them”. But would you hand over the reins to AI to try and find your person? We are joined by our friend and colleague Claire, described as ‘one of our many single friends’ who has joined the AI dating app. We speak about what it’s like and the unusual way that the app gets you to go on dates. Do you know someone who likes both hiking and the idea of having a dog??

Where is the line between ‘transparency’ of weight loss medication and celebrity endorsement?
Serena Williams is sporting a new look. Last week she shared that she had lost 14 kgs by using weight loss medication. She is the new ambassador of a telehealth company that prescribes GLP-1s and her husband is a board member of the telehealth company. 

We ask:

• Can you talk ‘transparently’ about weight loss medication if you’re being paid?
• Should ‘personal struggle’ narratives be used to promote something that feels very emotional to all of us? 
• Does this destigmatise weight loss medication?
• Is providing ‘easy access’ to prescription medication ethical?

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Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack all of your deep and burning questions.

We start with one of our own today! Firstly are you the type of person who is specific and actually gives an answer when you’re asked “what would you like for your birthday?” If you have told a partner/parent/close friend what you’d like for your birthday and they get you something else, is it okay to feel disappointed? Maybe one of us is an ungrateful shrew.

Vibes for the week:

Britt -eLIESebeth podcast  

Laura - Tonies 

Keeshia - @danny_sandhouse instagram account 

Then we jump into your questions!

FIND MY HUSBAND SUPER SEXY IN GROUP SETTINGS OR WHEN HE’S AWAY- BUT NOT WHEN JUST US?
I’ve been married to my husband for nearly 2 years and together for 9. I have been struggling with sexual chemistry for awhile now, my desire to show any intimacy in any form is basically non existent. BUT here is the thing, everytime I see him come home from work in his business uniform I literally want to jump him, everytime he walks in late to our family/friend catch ups I genuinely think he’s so bloody attractive and I feel like a teenager again seeing my crush. Everytime he’s away for work I instantly want him back, and all my sexual desires return. Why doesn’t this transpire to times that it’s just me and him? Or when we’re in bed together? It’s like he’s a completely different person to me. Help!

BEEN EXCLUDED FROM FRIEND GROUP
Hey girls, am I being over sensitive or is it completely ok to feel devastated? I found out that the group chat “left the group chat” except I wasn’t invited. One of my best friends has gone away for her 40th to Port Douglas with two of our other girlfriends and I had no idea about it, I hadn’t been invited and I only found out about it when I asked where she was when she didn’t turn up to our kids football game. She told me on the day that she had spoilt herself with a trip to port Douglas however she didn’t mention who with. Only that it was for her 40th. I asked who she went with and she never replied despite having a huge conversation via text. I found out from another mum that she’s gone with my two other friends. This has absolutely devastated me as I thought our friendship was on that same level and would never have thought that I was an exclusion or that it wasn’t even mentioned. I feel like it’s been hidden from me, I feel like completely shutting down. What should I do? I just don’t trust them anymore. Am I being too sensitive or is this a valid feeling?

SCABBY BIRTHDAY PRESENT
Help! I’m feeling so confused and a little devastated about a gift from one of my best friends for my 30th. She “bought” me an unknown brand childlike makeup set — I’m talking pink sparkles and a foundation at least five shades too dark. The thing is, she’s super into the finer things in life and would never use these products herself. I’m not a makeup girlie at all, so it felt especially strange that this was the present she chose for me. If I’m honest, I think it’s a regift. After some casual digging, I realised it’s from a niche brand her mum follows on Instagram that frequently do free giveaways. They have 100 followers. I know gifts aren’t everything, but for me it’s not about the present. It’s about the complete lack of thought or effort. It feels like a reflection of where our friendship is at for her. We’ve been a bit tense over the last couple of months after a small communication breakdown, but I honestly thought we could work through it. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt let down by her lack of effort, and now I’m seriously considering distancing myself. I’m usually all for having the hard conversations if it’s worth salvaging the friendship… but over a bad gift? It feels petty and I don’t want to seem ungrateful - how could you even bring that up?!

Do I bring this up, or do I just take this as a sign it’s time to let go?

IS MY HUSBAND A FULLY GROWN SNACK THIEF?
I need you to help me settle a minor domestic dispute. My husband is obsessed with our kids’ snacks: Le Snaks, pouch yoghurts, choc chip muffins, Tiny Teddies… the full primary school lunchbox starter pack. This is a grown man in his mid-30s heading to work with a Paw Patrol yoghurt pouch… packed in one of our kids’ old dinosaur lunch box, despite owning a perfectly good RipCurl cooler bag. I buy him “adult” snacks, but he inhales them in two days and raids the kids’ stash like a sugar-crazed raccoon. I should add, I make us delicious lunches most days, so it’s not like he’s going without. Recently, he stormed off without saying goodbye because I questioned why he needed (or wanted) to take one of the kids’ juice boxes. Am I being unreasonable, or should my husband stop being the biggest baby in the house and leave the kiddie snacks alone?

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

What's on the show:

• Leonardo DiCaprio emotionally feels 35
• Britt & Laura chat about Alien Encounters 
• Laura left something on the roof of her car (again)
• Bella Thorne 'proposed back' to her fiancé
• A woman was charged $18 to hang her bag in a restaurant
• Laura is taking Marlie to her first ever concert + Gen Z experiences concerts differently to Millennials
• Fashion Critical weighs in on Lola's Book Week costume

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Clare Stephens is a writer, screenwriter, editor and podcaster. She’s the former editor-in-chief at Mamamia and host of the podcasts Cancelled and But, Are You Happy? Clare also worked as a writer and producer on the Binge series Strife starring Asher Keddie and is about to publish her first novel, The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Done!

It tells the story of Ruby Williams, a young woman working in digital media who publishes an article that sees her at the bottom of an online pile-on. More broadly, it’s about shame - the way it never truly leaves you, and how we bury it. Clare is here to speak about the psychology of pile ons, cancel culture, what type of people handle being cancelled better than others and the media narratives surrounding public shaming!

Today we speak about:

• Why Clare chose to go out on her own after almost a decade at Mamamia
• Public shame and ‘metacognition’ 
• How the psychology of online debates and conversations is different to in person
• How it feels to be at the bottom of a pile on
• How and why some influencers cause pile ons of other people and use outrage to grow their own platforms
• There’s no good response to a pile on; silence is interpreted as guilt, speaking back causes more headlines and fuel on the fire
• What makes someone more likely to be cancelled?

You can pre-order The Worst Thing I've Ever Done (out September 30) here.

Follow Clare on Instagram 

Subscribe to Clare’s substack 

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Hey Lifers!

Laura’s house is back in chaos and Britt has embarrassed herself in an elevator full of people. What’s your phone wallpaper? Has it ever been a hot photo of yourself?

It’s ½ the team’s birthdays. Another year older, another year w̶̶i̶̶s̶̶e̶̶r̶̶ still wondering what the heck we are doing in life. We speak about how birthdays can feel pretty anticlimactic and differently if you are spending it with someone in particular. 

We flash back to last week where Britt gave …feedback on some fashion choices. We asked you what some of your funniest back handed ‘kill them with kindness’ comments.
We love that for you. 

With birthdays and a lot of self reflection this week, we really enjoyed the substack written by Leanne Ely titled ‘If I Were 50 Again, Here’s Exactly What I’d Do Differently’. We spoke about Leanne’s advice on detoxing her relationships before she detoxed her liver and how a lot of women have done a lot of living for everyone else and put their own wants and desires on the back burner.
You can read the whole substack here 

We each asked ourselves if we were to have another go at our 20s, what would we do completely differently.

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Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to ask uncut where we unpack your biggest (and sometimes smallest) life dilemmas!
Do you have a nickname that only some people can call you? Is it weird if someone you’re close with all of a sudden tries on a new nickname?
Britt has had a sleepover at Keeshia’s house and every sleep related recommendation she’s ever had has been completely validated.

Vibes for the week:
Laura - Back to Bilo Australian Story  

Keeshia -Steel Blue Cap Boots 

Britt - Amy Bradley Is Missing on Netflix 

Then we jump into your questions
MY BF APPLIED AND GOT A JOB WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE - WHAT TO DO?
My partner is currently out of town and called me saying that he got this new amazing job, in a different city. It’s a 2 year contract. The application process took a few months and he did it all without telling me. He even flew to the city for an interview, telling me at the time it was a work trip. He expects me to come with him and thought I would be excited because the job is in my hometown and my parents and some friends still live there. However, I am not excited as I love my life in our current city. He promises that it’s only for 2 years and then we will move back. He told me he didn’t tell me not to “jinx” the process. Help. How do I navigate this upon his return? He is otherwise such a great guy but I am really hurt. He went behind my back and made this decision for us.

MY HUSBAND CHEATED, BROUGHT HOME AND STI AND WANTS FORGIVENESS
I have been with my partner for 5 years &  we have a 1 year old. He is everything to me, I have never been happier in my life! I’m 38 years old but my partner just BLEW THINGS UP. He has told me that he has gonorrhoea and that I need to be tested. He went straight to asking forgiveness for what he was about to tell me. He said that I am his penguin but he is not fully satisfied in bed because he likes hard-core anal done to him and he never felt like he could ask me to do that as I have never expressed any of my tendencies. He paid to receive hard core anal multiple times during our relationship. He loves me and our family and assures me he is not homosexual and never wanted to hurt me. I am an open minded person, and  think I could have "understood" his sexual tendencies and possibly would have even tried to pleasure him with toys and pegging had I known. I don't want to judge him for his sexual tendencies but I do not accept that he went to see someone and has put my health at risk! I am devastated and feel like I don't know if I could get over the fact that he had sex with someone else, let alone with a man. I love him dearly and feel completely lost! How can I get over this?? Can I forgive him ever? Will I ever want to pleasure him the way he likes? A middle ground would be great but I am not sure what middle ground is... HELP

THINK MY SISTER’S HUSBAND HIT ON ME
A few weeks ago I went to see a band. My sister was supposed to come but couldn’t, so her husband used the ticket instead. From the start, it felt like a “date”. He bought me a drink and was touching me on the back and shoulder throughout the night. When we got in the uber home he opened the door for me and was touching my knee/rubbing my thigh on the drive home. I froze and did nothing. It felt like he was ‘making the moves’. My sister and I are very close and they’ve been married for ages (decades). My sister has told me things have been rocky lately but from what I know their marriage is solid. Since then I’ve been avoiding them, but I can’t do that forever. I don’t want to carry this secret but I also don’t want to be responsible for ending their marriage. Do I confront him? Tell her? Also, I wonder if I’m making a big deal out of nothing since it wasn’t sexual touching but I obviously felt very uncomfortable. Help.

I DON'T WANT HUSBAND TO TELL HIS MUM WHEN I GO INTO LABOUR
Am I being unreasonable that I don’t want my husband to tell his mother when I’m going into labour? For context I really don't like her. She has proven herself to be untrustworthy in many scenarios. (E.g. begged to see my wedding dress and then proceeded to show people in her family before we got married amongst other things) and she also lies. I find her to be a dishonest and very annoying person so I don’t see why I need to disclose this information when she can just wait for us to tell her when the baby is here. She also messages my husband every day and I know it will just cause me anxiety if she’s constantly asking for updates. My husband thinks I’m being silly and is hurt. He feels like he can’t tell his mum when the time comes. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

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It's our weekly round up! The best of the week from our National radio show THE PICKUP.

What's on the show:

• Today is International Lazy Day
• Britt & Laura have figured out the best songs of all time
• What is FAFO Parenting?
• Laura finds out she's been pronouncing a word wrong her entire life
• Britt's deep dive on cryogenic freezing
• What did your kid steal?
• Marlie Mae drew on her face with a permanent marker and it didn't go down well
• Laura tests the new Esther Perel Hinge Prompts on Britt
• Your Worst First Date Stories (but on the radio)
• Fun Fact Friday is BACK!

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