Introducing: Sins & Survivors: Las Vegas True Crime – What if the system you trust to protect you fails miserably? We're diving into a narrative that paints this grim picture in the tale of Phoukeo Dej-Oudom and her children. Tragically, their plea for protection fell on deaf ears, and the consequences were fatal. They were robbed of their dreams and their lives in the city that markets itself as the city of second chances - Las Vegas. This heart-wrenching episode of Sins & Survivors brings to light the intersection of domestic violence and gun violence. The haunting echo of Phoukeo’s story is resounding in our current legal landscape, with a Supreme Court case considering the constitutionality of gun removal in the cases of protective orders being argued in November 2023. It’s a complex matter, and we’re taking a hard look at the way victim blaming permeates these narratives. Join us as Shaun and John confront the unrealistic expectations of easy answers.

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After her divorce, Lorraine sought advice from a shaman, who encouraged her to let others take the lead. She started taking dance classes and began dating her partner, who eventually revealed himself to be a manipulative and controlling narcissist, drawing her into a cycle of escalating abuse.

**This episode contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, racism, and mental, emotional, and physical abuse. Listener discretion is advised.**

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(01:58) about lorraine

(02:51) lorraine’s story

(47:10) questions & answers

(49:34) closing thoughts

(50:37) charity & organizations

(51:07) submit your story

(51:17) disclaimer

“I decided to take therapy sessions from a shaman. And she said to Lorraine, you have problems being led.” - Lorraine

“I always already checking off all the boxes of how could I be the helper in this the Savior in this relationship?” - Lorraine

“...she said, it took me eight years to get my life back together after what he did to me. And she said, This man will break you down until you are absolutely nothing.” - Lorraine

“I would often lock myself in rooms to get away from him because sometimes things became violent…” - Lorraine

“...the Police officer flips open his gun, puts his hand on his gun and says to me, are you resisting arrest? And that's when it hit me. I'm like, Oh my God. I am a black English speaking woman in a French speaking province. I am fucked.” - Lorraine

“We keep our head up and we walk strong and we believe in God. And we believe in higher power, and we believe in kindness, and that's what's kept me through.” - Lorraine

Music (CC BY 4.0):

Lost Place Atmospheres 002 & 003 by Sascha Ende

Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, Yevhenii Kovalenko, Samuel Kamau, Cybercutie, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

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Natalie Bedard better known as NatNat

Energy Healing Specialist: Regulating the Nervous System and Relieving Emotional and Mental Pain Through Breathwork

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National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)

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At seventeen, Terra is captivated by a charismatic classmate who exploits her need for attention, leading them into a troubling cycle of drug abuse and criminal behavior. Terra's physical addiction to him only serves to deepen the toxicity within their relationship.

**This episode contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, murder, suicide, mental, emotional, and physical abuse, and drug use. Listener discretion is advised.**

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(01:42) about terra

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“I found myself leaning into the attention whenever I would get it. And then when the attention would stop, I would seek it out.” - Terra

“…but then he smoothed things over. He was just so good at explaining everything so good at covering everything up.” - Terra

“With him coming into my life with him even bringing the drugs and creating that addiction, it created an addiction in the relationship with him.” - Terra

“It made me feel like I had to have my phone on me all the time. I need to answer him right away. I need to, be there for him. And, if I didn't answer that message, then I got punished.” - Terra

“I say before you even think about making that comment of ‘she should have left’ or ‘she chose this’ is go and do the research of how hard it is to leave. Go and do the research of what your brain actually looks like when you're in this toxic relationship.” - Terra

Music (CC BY 4.0):

Lost Place Atmospheres (001 - 003) and Neon City by Sascha Ende

Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, Yevhenii Kovalenko, Cybercutie, AlesiaDavina, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

Spacetime by Mountaineer

https://seasonofjustice.org

https://www.terranewellsurvival.com

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)

Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Text: START to 88788 

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline

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Emma seeks comfort in the arms of a former client whose initial charm and good looks give way to his darker traits, trapping her in escalating emotional turmoil and abuse.

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(01:29) about emma

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(28:31) questions & answers

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(33:37) charity & organizations

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(34:17) disclaimer

“All in the same week, I lost a dog, a job, a relationship, and a house. It was just like one of those things where your world is completely turned upside down and you're very vulnerable, right?” - Emma

“I run into Ben again, and Ben is somebody that women do see and say, wow, that guy's very attractive. And, we exchanged numbers and decided to go out for drinks one night… within a couple weeks, he had said, I want you to be my girlfriend.” - Emma

“He'd always kind of put on this good face for other people and then if there was any sort of stress or something that he perceived as a stress it would set him off.” - Emma

“My sense of safety around him, I think I was always aware that the day could be a bad day or like, I hope he's not in a bad mood and anything could really put him in a bad mood.” - Emma

“And I said something like, you're really scaring me, and all of a sudden he goes looks at me and he goes ‘you should be scared’ and he puts his foot on the gas like all the way, you know, ninety miles an hour swerving, screeching, whipping around and I'm just absolutely freaking out.” - Emma

“I didn't want to give him the power to ruin romantic love for me or the idea of a relationship for me, I wasn't going to do that.” - Emma

Music (CC BY 4.0):

Lost Place Atmospheres (001 & 002) by Sascha Ende

Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Other Music and Sound Effects by Franco Gonzalez, Cybercutie, Geoffrey Harvey, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

Spacetime by Mountaineer

Kimberly Weeks

https://www.thenarcissisticabusecoach.com/

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)

Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Text: START to 88788 

https://www.thehotline.org/

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After her marriage is shattered by betrayal, Debra turns to alcohol, descending into addiction. Despite her efforts to maintain sobriety, she becomes entangled in a toxic relationship with an enabler who subjects her to emotional abuse, manipulation, and coercive control.

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“...but the end of that marriage is where I learned to equate chemicals with avoiding pain…alcohol became a problem pretty quickly for me.” - Debra

“I just like continued to choose worse and worse partners along the way because I lost my self-respect.” - Debra

“So, within record time, I'm like fired from my great job, already have given up the house that I had just re established. And so, at this point, I'm pretty realizing that I'm dependent on him.” - Debra

“Anything I told him, any vulnerability I shared with him would become his weapon the next time. It would be whatever he would control me with or, something to make me feel bad about.” - Debra

“And the closure will come when you finally see you are enough. Nobody else is going to make you more, you are fine as you are. and it's not something that you can just read a self-help book and get there, but you know, there's people that can help. Help you to see it.” - Debra

The Alternative Hair Alchemist | Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/alternative-hair-alchemist-a-podcast-about/id1627588998

Music (CC BY 4.0):

Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha Ende

Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/)

Other Music and Sound Effects by Cybercutie, Geoffrey Harvey, Alex Wit, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

Spacetime by Mountaineer

National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/niaaa-middle-school/helpful-resources

The mission of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism is to generate and disseminate fundamental knowledge about the adverse effects of alcohol on health and well-being, and apply that knowledge to improve diagnosis, prevention, and treatment of alcohol-related problems, including alcohol use disorder, across the lifespan.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)

Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Text: START to 88788 

https://www.thehotline.org/

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Ashley and Ricky, the dynamic duo behind Crime Salad, bring their unique perspectives and captivating storytelling to unravel some of the most intriguing criminal cases. With each episode, they dive deep into the details, providing listeners with a thought-provoking exploration of the darker side of humanity. Join them every week as they serve up a chilling dish of true crime that will leave you craving for more.

Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crime-salad/id1457141569

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Thank you all for listening and subscribing to lovelustfear. I'm so grateful to all the brave guests who have joined the show and shared their important stories with us. 

If you're listening and eager for more dating and relationship stories, please consider supporting the show by rating and leaving a review wherever you listen.

Listeners on Spotify can engage with one-click polls after each episode and share their own dating experiences and thoughts on the episodes in the comments.

https://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWec

And I'm excited to announce lovelustfridays, a panel discussion series available here every other Friday where I invite previous guests and experts for an extended exploration of their stories and give you a chance to submit any questions you have.

For video previews, check out our Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/

And if you'd like to share your dating and relationship story, I want to hear it. 

You can reach me at [email protected] or: https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/

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Thank you so much!

Following her divorce, Kenzi returned to her hometown and ventured into online dating, where she developed a promising friendship with romantic potential. However, the situation took a dark turn when Kenzi found herself subjected to his disturbing and abusive behavior.

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(01:42) about kenzi

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(22:00) questions & answers

(29:22) closing thoughts

(30:19) charity & organizations

(30:49) submit your story

(31:00) disclaimer

“I started to really realize like, okay, I'm going to have to leave this marriage because if I don't leave this marriage at some point, I'm not so sure I'm going to make it out at all.” - Kenzi

“I have got to rebuild my life. And I finally get to this point where I want to start the process of exploring dating.” - Kenzi

“And he just looks me dead in the face. And he says, If you're not going or staying the night, I might as well just go ahead and get this over with.” - Kenzi

“I'm just like, God, please let me get my shoes on and get the fuck out of here, like, please, just let me get the fuck out of here safe, like, please don't let anything happen to me.” - Kenzi

“And what I would tell them is that you have no idea what somebody is going through until you are standing right in their shoes and you're put into the exact same situation. You don't know how you would react. You don't know how you would act. You don't know what you would say.” - Kenzi

Inside The Case | Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/inside-the-case/id1679471501

Instagram | Kenzi Durbin

https://www.instagram.com/thisiskenzi_/

Music (CC BY 4.0):

Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha Ende

Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Other Music and Sound Effects by Franco Gonzalez, Jan Hill, Alex Wit, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, UNIVERSFIELD, and TheoJT from Pixabay

Spacetime by Mountaineer

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)

Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Text: START to 88788 

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline

https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/

If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.

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Despite longing for love and affection, Kaitlyn becomes caught in a cycle of toxic relationships marked by sexual assault, emotional abuse, and physical violence.

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(01:21) about kaitlyn

(02:11) kaitlyn’s story

(19:02) questions & answers

(23:30) closing thoughts

(24:18) charity & organizations

(24:48) submit your story

(24:59) disclaimer

“I thought that it was going to be, like, a romance novel because he painted that picture for me.” - Kaitlyn

“We didn't have boundaries. those, between him and I, those didn't exist.” - Kaitlyn

“He would wake up and decide that he wanted to be mad at me for something that he dreamt about, and he would take it out on me.” - Kaitlyn

“I had to get stripped of everything that I'd ever known. So those basic emotions that we get when we're children. I got stripped down to those emotions. in therapy, it was like, you think you understand guilt but you need to learn just happiness.” - Kaitlyn

Music (CC BY 4.0):

Lost Place Atmospheres (002-003) by Sascha Ende

Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Other Music and Sound Effects by Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, UNIVERSFIELD, and TheoJT from Pixabay

Spacetime by Mountaineer

https://clevelandrapecrisis.org/

Cleveland Rape Crisis Center supports survivors of rape and sexual abuse, promotes healing and prevention and advocates for social change.

https://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/

For more than 30 years, FUTURES has been providing groundbreaking programs, policies, and campaigns that empower individuals and organizations working to end violence against women and children around the world.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)

Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)

Text: START to 88788 

https://www.thehotline.org/

https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline

https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/

If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.

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L.A. Not So Confidential is a True Crime and Forensic Psychology podcast hosted by two Los Angeles - based psychologists currently working in the criminal justice field. Dr. Shiloh & Dr. Scott have a unique perspective on True Crime as residents of the center of the entertainment world and the birthplace of the Noir Crime Genre.

Listen on Apple

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l-a-not-so-confidential-the-premier/id1293032240

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Website

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