lovelustfear

After enduring sexual harassment in her early teens, Lynn turns to older men for comfort as she enters adulthood. She becomes pregnant by an abusive partner, faces the heart-wrenching decision of abortion, and suffers further assault. Despite her longing to heal, she becomes caught in toxic cycles, growing increasingly isolated and trapped. Driven by the need to end the cycle of abuse, she fights to break free.

** This episode contains explicit content, including descriptions of sexual assault, physical abuse, and abortion. Please listen with caution.**

quotes
“I developed very fast. I felt like I almost went from being a little girl to being a young woman, who was leered at and gawked at…” - Lynn
“They became abusive…you never knew what kind of person you were gonna get with him.” - Lynn
“…there's no way that I'm gonna get pregnant. and that's exactly what happened.” - Lynn
“A few months later I got a phone call from the father of the baby, from my previous boyfriend, He broke into the house in the middle of the night. He walked into my bedroom, scared the hell out of me. And then in the morning he had left me this incredibly creepy note that said, amongst other things, I just wanted to watch you sleep.” - Lynn
“…that was his way of getting me away from everything that I knew, my job, my friends, my hometown, any connection that I had to anyone to get me alone in a new state to isolate me.” - Lynn
“I encourage everyone out there who has experienced any type of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical, psychological, sexual, to find a good outlet.” - Lynn
“I feel like every time I tell the story, now that I gain a little bit of myself.” - Lynn
topics | #Relationships #EmotionalAbuse #ToxicDynamics #Trust #SelfWorth #AbusiveRelationships #EmotionalManipulation #SexualAssault #ToxicRelationships #RedFlags #Support #Silencing #Fear #Trauma #Reporting #Assault #GenerationalTrauma #Healing #Partner
music | sounds
Music (CC BY 4.0):
Lost Place Atmospheres (001-003) by Sascha Ende
Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, cybercutie, TheoJT, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, Samuel Kamau, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay
stay aware | follow | share (lynn)
National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)
Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
Text: START to 88788 
https://www.thehotline.org/
https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline
https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/
Hope Alliance 
https://www.hopealliancetx.org/
To assist those whose lives have been affected by family and sexual violence by providing safety, services, and developing partnerships that lead to hope, healing, and prevention.
To provide hope of future generations through prevention and be a leader in saving and transforming lives affected by family and sexual violence.
End Violence Against Women International
https://evawintl.org/
We confront interpersonal violence against adults and adolescents of all genders. We specialize in trauma-informed law enforcement responses—from the first interaction with a victim through the investigation and potential prosecution. Positive outcomes for survivors require everyone working together, so we also champion collaborative practices, with multidisciplinary training for health care providers, prosecutors, advocates, and others who respond to survivors.
The National Training Center on Crimes Against Women
https://trainingcaw.org/
The National Training Center on Crimes Against Women (NTC) is a state-of-the-art facility in Dallas, Texas that provides year-round training for those addressing violence against women. Leveraging the rich history of the Conference on Crimes Against Women, NTC offers learning opportunities ranging from basic to advanced levels. Additionally, NTC builds community in the region by hosting free events, even those outside its primary focus areas.
story submission information 
If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.
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E-mail | [email protected]
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Spotify
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Apple
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RSS feed
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Lauryn’s romance with her movie theater coworker spirals into a toxic cycle of heartbreak, doubt, and obsession, leaving her emotionally crushed but driven to prove her instincts right.

quotes

"...in middle school when girls and boys were starting to pay more attention to each other. And I had crushes, but they were not reciprocated..." - Lauryn

“At the time, I was just like, we're going to be together forever. We had talked about it. You're the love of my life. I'm the love of your life.” - Lauryn

"He breaks up with me, I'm devastated, I start to move on, he calls me, we get back together, he starts to pull away again." - Lauryn

"I'm crying and sobbing, and I wake my parents up. I wake my mom up, and I tell her…I feel like I'm going to die and I will do anything to make this pain stop." - Lauryn

"I'm begging him, begging him, please just break it off with me. I can't do this anymore. I know that you're cheating on me. I know something's going on. I feel it. He was like, I know that we've been through a lot, but you have to learn to trust me." - Lauryn

“Most people that know me, I guarantee you would be like Lauren would rather eat glass than sit around and let someone disrespect her because it's not who I am. But back then, it was who I was…” - Lauryn

topics

#romanticmovies #toxicrelationships #heartbreak #infidelityandbetrayal #selfesteemjourney #comingofagestory #emotionalrecovery #lifeafterheartbreak #loveandselfdiscovery #cheatingandrecovery #teenageromance #lovecycles #findingyourself #healingafterheartbreak #toxiclovepatterns #copingwithbreakups #romanticizedlove #boundariesinrelationships #heartbreaktohealing #redefininglove #trust #stability #doubts #cheating #breakup #devastation #infidelity #confrontation #betrayal #trauma #mentalhealth #recovery #chronicillness #podcasting #awareness #support #podcast

music | sounds
Music (CC BY 4.0):
Lost Place Atmospheres 002 by Sascha Ende
Very Low Note by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Other Music and Sound Effects by Alex Wit, Yevhenii Kovalenko, Syouki Takahashi, Timothy Kulig, Pixabay, Samuel F. Johanns, and UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay

stay aware | follow | share (lauryn)

Women Deliver
https://womendeliver.org
An Unwavering Advocate for Girls and Women – Women Deliver
We’re a global advocacy organization guided by one end result: that every girl and woman exercises her rights to full bodily autonomy and health.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7/365)
Call 1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
Text: START to 88788 
https://www.thehotline.org/
https://www.facebook.com/NationalDomesticViolenceHotline
https://www.instagram.com/NDVHofficial/

story submission information 
If you would like to consider being a guest on lovelustfear or would like your story featured anonymously, please contact us below.
submission link | https://lovelustfear.aidaform.com/lovelustfear
E-mail | [email protected]
Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/lovelustfearpod/

subscription links
Amazon Music
https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b06d0ea8-cb29-4c3a-98e6-0249d84df748/lovelustfear
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/0e3ndcf5u8lZ5lhN1lvWec
Apple
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lovelustfear/id1735876283
RSS feed
https://audioboom.com/channels/5125912.rss

Want to hear more? Whatever app you’re listening on, just rate us and/or leave us a comment or review.

Thank you for your support!