We're wrapping up the Dolly 64 opening round this week with songs that work better in theory than in practice, the difference between "not for me" and "not good," countrymaxxing without slagging "coastal elites," and Vrbo text art in song form. Is it weird that this is the section in which a Dolly Parton song finally bats a thousand points-wise? Maybe...but not really. Whatever you came in here looking like, listen now!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

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The Dolly 64 season has reached perhaps the strongest bracket section in our third ep, with the joyful chaos of mis-alphabetizing, growers and showers in the holler, songs about things men don't want to hear, and multiple hauntings by Little Andy and the narrator of "The Bridge." Find out which Dolly Parton track got ranked "Richard Bachman," how to take control of a cover, and much more in our latest episode!

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

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The Dolly 64 season continues with our second set of first-round contenders, including overplayed classics, underrated '80s gems, toothless platitudes, tempo no-man's lands, brand ambassadors to the Lord, and things Dolly Parton does well that might not make the first paragraph of her musicianship wiki. Here WE come again, and we hope you'll have a listen!

Intro and outro by David Gregory Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

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Welcome to our Dolly 64 season -- in which we use a highly scientific*, legally binding* March Madness-style bracket to determine the most quintessential Dolly Parton track of all time! In our first episode, we make Final Four predictions, scheme in the style of Tammany Hall, wonder why Mark's parents aren't president, distinguish between country and kuntree, and honor the "old coot at the edge of town" Partonian subgenre. Daddy, come and get an all-new episode of MASTAS!

*...no

Intro and outro by Andrew Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

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It's Part 2 of our ranking of Madonna's studio albums! When did Madonna stop dictating the culture and start chasing it? When should listeners write to their Congressional reps over our heatmaps, and when are heatmap "yellows" actually "reds" but they're too boring to skip? We're not sure we can answer these questions...but we're pretty sure we know when it's time for the endeavor of rapping to cease. Get psyched or eff off: it's an all-new MASTAS episode.

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

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Welcome to Part 1 of our ranking of all 15 of Madonna's studio albums! The Material Girl's woeful underrepresentation on our podcast continues, as we start with the eponymous Madonna and continue through Bedtime Stories. Along the way, we explain the ranking and heatmapping processes we used, and discuss MTV imprinting, the "dust bunnies" of otherwise-solid albums, how The Immaculate Collection shifted our perceptions of Madonna's '80s output, and that time the Good Lord Himself gave Mark permission to buy a record at WalMart. Limber up those skip-button fingers and join us!

Intro and outro by David Gregory Byrne. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

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Dan Rogge is back (-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack) to help us discuss and rank William's 1979 breakthrough release, "The Stranger" -- complete with derogatory Lost In Translation references, mediocre parental reviews of jukebox musicals, coherent statements on alienation, Mrs. Dash sponcon, the sound of the Fortunoff elevator, and why Mark needed a looseleaf notebook at the gym. Grab some stale boardwalk popcorn, Virginia, because it's on!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

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Don't ask us why* we decided to hurl a rock at William Joel's 1980 release, "Glass Houses" -- but we're ranking that album with the help of Ambassador To Long Island Pop Culture Dan Rogge. Along the way, we met a shark named Leyna, contemplated essential Billy-ness and Blondie cosplay, added to the list of songs Mark can't retain, and went behind the scenes of an ill-advised French mash note. Grab a "Monsieur Massapequa" tee and get your karaoke picks in; it's time for another MASTAS ranker!

*it was not the terrible news about the tour cancellation; we'd recorded well before that -- and we hope he's better soon!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli. Visit us on Patreon for more!

SHOW NOTES

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We end the Best New Artist season where it all began for the podcast: the Grammys. We're talking today about the 67th Grammy Awards' "big 4" categories, plus a couple of wildcards -- and along the way, the American need for underdogs, nominations of encouragement, Mark's "Folkmore" playlist, Uncanny George Valley nightmares, couples skate, and a purse dog named Aristotle. Grab an electric clarinet and join us! (Throw the clarinet in the garbage first. THEN join us.)

Intro and outro by David Gregory Byrne; for more information, visit patreon.com/mastas.

SHOW NOTES

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It's the Best New Artist Breakdown season finale, featuring a MASTAS greatest-hits line-up, the return of sprung rhythm, grand unifying complaints about breakthrough categories, Elt Zeppelin, and how to evolve past Wolfman Jack in pop-music discovery. Do we agree with the Grammys' most recent BNA choices? Have we decided how to tackle the 2025 nominees? Should jerks win awards? Come spook the Recording Academy herd with us!

Intro and outro by Laura Barger and Jack Baldelli; for more information/to become a patron of the show, visit patreon.com/mastas.

SHOW NOTES

Single 19: Favorite Discoveries on NPR's Women+ Song List

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