We’re diving deep into a topic that sparks major conversation in our community: masc for masc culture and the complexities of preference, identity, and stigma.

Host Jai the Gentleman kicks off the episode by sharing his own preference for “girly boys” and feminine men, playfully stating, “nothing is too feminine for me”. He admits to being “the drama” for feeling that gay men who are “masculine all the time” are “fighting against something”. He’s clear that he loves men who express in every version of manliness, especially those who have a “yes b***h” in them.

The conversation then heats up as Jai reacts to a creator who explains why he doesn’t date “girly boys”. This leads to an intense chat about:

* Masculinity and its Evolution: Jai argues that the definition of masculinity differs across generations.

* The “Masc for Masc” Debate: Discussion around whether liking masculinity assumes one is masculine, and the attraction of feminine men to “trade” or DL (Down Low) men.

* Stigma and Privilege: The argument of whether advocating for the masculine is necessary, given the social privilege associated with masculine presentation, versus the stigma and femme phobia experienced by feminine and trans men.

Callers and commenters share their perspectives, touching on the idea of masc shaming, the need to affirm all Black queer men, and the importance of supporting “strong friends” who present as masculine but may be struggling. Ultimately, the episode underscores the beauty and complexity of Black gay identity and expression, reminding us all that every story “makes mine valid”.

Tune in to hear the full, raw conversation! Don’t forget, a portion of your Super Chats and memberships goes to worthy causes helping black queer people.

Would you like me to find out more about any of the upcoming shows mentioned, such as the conversation about raw sex on November 19th?

Dear Black Gay Men’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dearblackgaymen.substack.com/subscribe