My guest today is Paul Eastwick, a social psychologist and professor at the University of California, Davis, whose research focuses on attraction, romantic relationships, and the gap between what we think we want and what actually unfolds in real life. His latest book, Bonded by Evolution, challenges a lot of common assumptions about dating and compatibility.

In this episode, we explore:

•  Why many of our inherited “rules” about attraction—like mate value, having a type, or alpha/beta dynamics—don’t hold up in real life 
•  How attraction is far more dynamic and often grows over time rather than appearing instantly 
•  The gap between what people say they want in a partner and who they actually choose 
•  How context (social environments, timing, even a first kiss) plays a powerful role in shaping connection 
•  What dating apps get wrong—and why real-life networks and shared spaces matter more than we think 
•  How loosening rigid expectations allows attraction and relationships to unfold more naturally 

Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow me on Instagram: @tomparkestherapy

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

Today’s guest is Jason Luoma, PhD. Jason is a clinical psychologist, researcher, entrepreneur, and psychotherapy trainer based in Portland, Oregon. For over two decades, Jason’s research has focused on shame, stigma, and the interpersonal functions of emotion, with more recent work centered on psychedelic science. He served as Principal Investigator on one of the first MDMA-assisted psychotherapy trials in the Pacific Northwest and has contributed to multiple NIH-funded clinical trials in roles including co-investigator, consultant, therapist, and trainer.

Jason is co-author of the bestselling ACT text Learning Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Values in Therapy, and is currently writing a book on psychedelic-assisted therapy for Guilford Press. A longtime leader in the ACT community, he is a peer-reviewed ACT trainer, former president of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science, and co-founder of several innovative organizations, including the Portland Psychotherapy Clinic, Research, & Training Center and the Portland Institute for Psychedelic Science.

He also hosts The Research Matters Podcast, where he interviews leading researchers about what makes their work impactful and effective.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

-His early development in Steve Hayes’ lab

-The evolution of ACT and contextual behavioral science

-The need for more experiential learning for clinicians 

-psychedelics and their application for healing

-Hopes for the future of psychedelic assisted therapy 

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Jason’s Website: https://jasonluoma.com/

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

My guest today is Jennifer Bohle, LPC. Jennifer is a trauma-informed therapist, content creator, and high-achieving creative based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She works with perfectionistic women to build self-trust, confidence, and worthiness while learning to relate to perfectionism as a strength. Through content creation, Jennifer blends humor, education, and real life --  using creativity as a way to make therapy more human and accessible, and to stay connected to the playful, curious part of herself that still feels like a kid at heart.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

-Jennifer’s path into creating online content — what moved her from private work to public sharing

-Working skillfully with jealousy and comparison, and learning how to genuinely support other creators

-The values that anchor and shape her creative process

-The unspoken costs and complexities of growing an audience online

-And Navigating phone use, attention, and intentional consumption in a digital world

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Jennifer’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferanncounseling/

Jennifer’s Website: https://www.jenniferanncounseling.com/

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

My guest today is Erin Jones, LCMHC. Erin is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor providing evidence-based treatment for individuals with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and related diagnoses. She works at Bull City Anxiety and OCD Treatment Center, where she sees individual clients, manages an intensive Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) program, and runs  groups. She is the treasurer for OCD North Carolina, local affiliate of the International OCD Foundation. Erin is passionate about perinatal care and int his episode we explore all things perinatal OCD, touching a range of contexts it shows up like infertility, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.

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Learn more about Erin: https://www.bullcityanxiety.com/erin-jones-lcmhc

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erintalksocd/

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

Diana Hill, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, international trainer, and sought-out speaker on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and compassion. Diana is the host of the podcast Wise Effort and author of The Self-Compassion Daily Journal, The ACT Daily Journal, I Know I Should Exercise But…, and her newest book Wise Effort. Diana works with organizations and individuals to develop psychological flexibility so that they can grow fulfilling and impactful lives. 

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

• Struggles with change and concept of experiential attachment
• The intersection of ACT and Buddhism in Diana’s book
• How our environment impacts our energy
• The our genius can be under or over-utilized 
• The importance of feedback and honesty

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Diana’s website: https://drdianahill.com/

Wise Effort: https://a.co/d/81mws9E

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

Dr. Marisa T. Mazza is a clinical psychologist and founder of choicetherapy psychological services, inc.  Dr. Mazza is passionate about providing evidence-based therapies, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Exposure and Response Prevention, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Mindful Self-Compassion, to teens and adults struggling with OCD or Anxiety. She enjoys supporting individuals in learning new ways of interacting with thoughts and feelings. Her approach allows individuals to face their fears in a gradual and gentle way so they can get unstuck from thoughts and feelings and live meaningful lives. Dr. Mazza was formerly a board member of OCD SF Bay Area, the International OCD Foundation’s local affiliate, and was the Vice President of the San Francisco Bay Area Association for Contextual Behavioral Science. She is also the author of The ACT Workbook for OCD which we discuss at points throughout this episode.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

-Marisa’s history of anxiety challenges 

-How it has helped her grow and be connected to values as a clinician

-The role that shame plays in anxiety and OCD challenges

-Common OCD related challenges faced postpartum

-What lead to Marisa writing The ACT Workbook for OCD

-How to use ACT skills and exposure exercises flexibly in specific contexts

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Marisa’s website: https://www.choicetherapy.net/

The ACT Workbook for OCD: https://a.co/d/4QBveqc

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

Sign up for PsychFlex through the Mentally Flexible link! PsychFlex.com/MentallyFlexible

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

My guest today is Laura Knouse, PhD. Laura is a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Richmond. Her research and clinical expertise focus on the nature, assessment, and treatment of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in adults.. Her recent research aims to better understand the self-regulation and motivation difficulties of college students with ADHD in order to develop effective interventions. Recent collaborative work with faculty in other disciplines focuses on how leaders can most effectively cope with personal crisis and how growth mindsets are related to mental health and coping. She is a coauthor of the new book, Living Well with Adult ADHD, which we discuss throughout the episode. 

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

• Laura’s background and research interests
• The evolution of ADHD throughout Laura’s career
• The intersecting processes of many mental health diagnoses
• How modern environmental factors influence ADHD symptoms
• What the research says about medications for ADHD and the potential risks
• And the importance of individualizing treatment

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Laura’s website: https://www.lauraknouse.com/

Living Well with Adult ADHD: https://a.co/d/gwB0Ks0

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

Sign up for PsychFlex through the Mentally Flexible link! PsychFlex.com/MentallyFlexible

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

Today’s episode features Ralph De La Rosa. Ralph was the author of three books, including Outshining Trauma: A New Vision of Radical Compassion (foreword by Richard Schwartz). He was a psychotherapist in private practice and a longtime meditation teacher known for his radically honest and humorous approach. His work was featured in GQ, CNN, NY Post, Tricycle, Mindful Magazine, and beyond.

Perhaps most crucial is that Ralph walked the path of outshining trauma alongside the people he worked with. He was a survivor of PTSD, heroin addiction, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, and liver failure. Walking through these matters with the help of profound therapists and mentors became an empowerment no school could have offered. It was simply part of his path to offer back what he had been shown.

Ralph mentored personally with Richard Schwartz, founder of the Internal Family Systems model of psychotherapy, known for its efficacy in healing trauma. He also completed an invite-only advanced teacher training with Jack Kornfield.

He began practicing meditation in 1996 and trained in a spectrum of yogic and healing traditions, including devotional Hinduism and Tibetan Buddhism. Ralph began teaching Buddhist-inspired meditation in 2008. He identified as a practitioner and teacher of human spirituality, offering a highly specialized hybrid of IFS and Buddhism to guide students on a direct path of conscious evolution and self-discovery.

As a therapist, Ralph was a summa cum laude graduate of Fordham University. He spent his earliest days working in NYC’s clinical foster care system where he trained in multiple modalities of trauma-focused therapy. He maintained a small roster of therapy clients for the love of witnessing transformation up close.

Ralph was also an intersectional activist, musician, wannabe acrobat, and outdoor enthusiast, who made his home in Seattle, WA. His teachings and writings continue to inspire and support people navigating trauma and transformation.

Some of the topics we covered in this episode include:

• A beginning guided meditation
• What drew Ralph to IFS
• Overlaps with ACT and IFS
• The value of living with an open heart
• And Ralph guides me through some experiential IFS work

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Outshining Trauma: https://a.co/d/cQ8kREn

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

Sign up for PsychFlex through the Mentally Flexible link! PsychFlex.com/MentallyFlexible

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

My guest today is Rikke Kjelgaard. Rikke is a licensed psychologist, peer-reviewed ACT trainer, and author. Rikke is on a mission to help therapists thrive and to be brave and authentic helpers. Trained as a clinical psychologist, she has a 15 year background in the science of human behavior and the practice of behavior change. Rikke is a popular speaker internationally, and she is known to bring both passion and vulnerability to her talks. She transforms the lives of her audience by bringing evidence based strategies to her listeners in ways that are accessible and impactful.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

- Rikke’s background being on stage and how that informs her training style

- Her early experiences being trained by the ACT founders

- The difference between wounds and scars regarding self disclosure

- Cultivating willingness to sit in the darkness with others

- Bringing ACT skills beyond the therapy room and into our personal relationships

- And we discuss topics like, self-forgiveness, people pleasing, and being truly helpful 

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Rikke’s website: https://www.rikkekjelgaard.com

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

Sign up for PsychFlex through the Mentally Flexible link! PsychFlex.com/MentallyFlexible

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw

My guest today is Dr. Jessica Borushok, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice specializing in anxiety disorders and health-related concerns, including insomnia, chronic pain, and coping with chronic medical conditions. In addition to clinical work, Dr. Borushok provides acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) training and consultation to other mental health professionals. Dr. Borushok is the co-author of numerous books, including her most recent, The Complete Guide to Acceptance & Commitment Therapy: An Interactive Skills Manual for Clinicians to Learn and Practice ACT. In an effort to bring evidence-based resources to the public, Jessica also runs a Youtube channel called The ACT Therapist.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

• What led Jessica into the psychology field
• How she found her authentic voice and style within ACT
• Creative and flexible ways of training others in ACT
• Jessica’s new book
• And trusting ourselves to take risks in session 

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Jessica’s website: https://www.theacttherapist.com/

The Complete Guide to ACT: https://a.co/d/aJTFqHXh

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Thank you all for checking out the episode! Here are some ways to help support Mentally Flexible:

Sign up for PsychFlex through the Mentally Flexible link! PsychFlex.com/MentallyFlexible

You can help cover some of the costs of running the podcast by donating a cup of coffee! www.buymeacoffee.com/mentallyflexible

Please subscribe and leave a review on Apple Podcasts. It only takes 30 seconds and plays an important role in being able to get new guests.https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mentally-flexible/id1539933988

Follow the show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentallyflexible/

Check out my song “Glimpse at Truth” that you hear in the intro/outro of every episode: https://tomparkes.bandcamp.com/track/glimpse-at-truth

Check out my new album, Holding Space! https://open.spotify.com/album/0iOcjZQhmAhYtjjq3CTpwQ?si=nemiLnELTsGGExjfy8B6iw