Minion Death Cult

Support the show for $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week.

The Mars company wants to deny Tucker Carlson his god-given right to fuck the green m&m, and facebook users gasp in collective horror as the candy mascots are desexualized.

Also: Mass Formation Psychosis, and how it means that everyone who disagrees with you is crazy

Because of Alex's holiday season workload we've been on a Patreon-only schedule. We hope to be getting back to regular free episodes as soon as next week, but in the meantime you can hear all the premium episodes from December and January by supporting the show at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for only $3.11/month

This week the internet collectively winces as an aggressive Florida Republican starts a road rage shootout and gets outgunned by a Prius driver.

Also: Joe Biden's supply chain claims its worst victim yet: buffalo wing appetizers and the Has Brown Casserole at Cracker Barrel

Unlocked from our Patreon: This week we talk about the insane Epoch Times' "Interview with the Antichrist," a film that crams every imaginable Christian grievance into a 90 minute fake interview with satan's most powerful minion.

Pure End Times Behavior

Support the show for as little as $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week, as well as instant access to every previous bonus episode right in your podcast app

This week we reflect on Donald Trump's victory in the War on Christmas--even muslims and jews like christmas now!

Also, we celebrate the first ever Starbucks union, but not everyone is happy, such as people who fantasize about owning a coffee shop.

Finally, an instacart delivery driver runs over an elderly couple's precious groceries for having a blue lives matter sign in their yard, police say. What do the people say? Off with her head!

The one and only Anje came on to help me talk about the legendary Lone Star episode "2100" the LAVA EPISODE!!! We talk satin, scorpions, and sloughed off skin when a dormant volcano decides to erupt under Austin.

Support the show for $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode in your podcast app every week, as well as instant access to every previous bonus episode.

This week we cover a heinous attack on Christmas, Christianity, and whiteness itself: the burning of the Fox News Times Square American Christmas Tree

Also: Hannity viewers grapple with Comrade Sanders demanding that medicare cover dental benefits for seniors. Hey Bernie, unlike you, I actually take care of my teeth!

Support the show for only $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get instant access to every bonus episode directly in your podcast app.

This week we cover the insane Epoch Times film, "Interview with the Antichrist."

In the aftermath of the rapture and amid a barrage of off-screen plagues and climate catastrophes, an intrepid reporter finally interviews the Antichrist, the christian-hating leader of this apocalyptic world.

The Antichrist reveals the "End Times Behavior" that lukewarm Christians enabled, such as scaring the elderly by revving their Harley bikes, watching Netflix as much as secular heathens, poor customer service, watching Will Ferrel's Elf, and the knockout game.

This week we cover the right-wing backlash to a Salvation Army internal employee guide that, according to Daily Wire, demands white donors apologize for their racism

Also, very online Trump supporters react to Republican Senator Josh Hawley asking men to stop jerking off and gaming

Support the show for $3.11/month at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for bonus episodes every week & instant access to hundreds of previous bonus episodes

Music: Crumb - Up & Down

Support the show for only $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get a bonus episode every week, as well as instant access to every previous bonus episode (hundreds of hours of content) right in your podcast app.

This week we cover the new Kid Rock song "Don't Tell Me How To Live," which aims to offend millennials but mostly offends conservatives with its vulgar language

Also: prominent right wingers call for a race war because of a wikipedia entry title they didn't like

This week we cover CPAC president Matt Schlapp's war against the woke-ification of Sesame Street by including an asian puppet, and one facebook commenter imagines what it would be like if there were a white puppet.

Also: scary times at the UK Aldi, as a mum is driven starkers by a mad cashier who refused to slow down.

Support the show for only $3.11/mo at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult and get instant access to every weekly bonus episode directly in your podcast app