Modern Love

Modern Love

By The New York TimesSociety & Culture
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Modern Love episodes

  • Why Do People Get Married?

    Welcome to our season premiere. Seven years into a serious relationship, Jake Maynard got a text from his mother: “Gramma Gert: 3, Jake: 0.” This was her way of telling him that his grandmother, in her 80s, was getting married for the third time, while Jake remained unmarried and childless in his late 20s. His family found this strange. Stranger still, at least in Jake’s view, was his grandmother’s choice of partner. (You’ll have to listen to the episode.) Today, we explore how two generations of the same family — 50 years apart — grapple with identity, tangled kin and the loaded question of marriage.

    You can find more info on today's episode here. 

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    24 min
  • What the Silence Said

    When Laura and her husband divorced after two decades of marriage, their “little Colorado mountain town” could barely tell. It was quiet compared to the dramatic natural disasters that were afflicting the area — like flooding and wildfires. There were no raised voices, no feelings of fury.

    So why did they split? In the lead-up to their divorce, Laura had a revelation about what good love — the kind that will “survive life” — is supposed to sound like.

    Featured stories:

    • “No Sound, No Fury, No Marriage," by Laura Pritchett
    • “Silence Is Its Own Answer," by Jennifer Byrne


    Laura's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    21 min
  • ‘Desire Is Never the Mistake’

    This holiday season, it’s OK to want more. Paula grew up in foster care, and year after year she would find herself “clobbered by desire” when the holidays rolled around. She longed for a mother and father to rescue her and “make everything better”; she wished for the hip-huggers and games she saw on TV.

    When she was 21, she met a man named Jeff who ruptured this annual cycle of desire. He became the inspiration for a hard-earned Christmas lesson.

    Featured stories:

    • “The Holiday of My Dreams Was Just That,” by Paula McLain
    • “A Sweet Reminder,” by Meg Christman


    Paula's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    You can find more information on today's episode here.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    27 min
  • With the Help of Strangers

    This episode contains descriptions of domestic violence.

    In 2013, Courtney Queeney published an essay about surviving domestic violence and the legal proceedings that followed. She described going to a courthouse every two weeks to renew her emergency protection order against her ex. It was during this period that she found “scattered bright spots” — things to laugh about when everything seemed unfunny. She found comfort in the woman who shared her court schedule; her lawyer, whom she revered; and the judge who made her crack up.

    Today, we hear about how Courtney has worked through the experience and aftermath of her abuse — and where is she now.

    Featured stories:

    • “The View From the Victim Room,” by Courtney Queeney
    • “Held by String,” by Eliza Rudalevige


    Courtney's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    You can find more information on today's episode here.

    New York Times subscribers are invited to join the hosts of Modern Love on Dec. 15 for an evening celebrating the new “Tiny Love Stories” book. RSVP here.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    27 min
  • A Lifetime of Good Loving

    When Bette met her husband, he was leaning against a wall at a party. He had, as she put it, “smoldering looks and banked fires.” He was from Brooklyn; she was from the Bronx. She assumed his silent “bad boy” vibe meant “dangerous love and dramatic heartbreak.”

    They got married, and she realized that she’d misread his quiet demeanor: “His eyes were simply beautiful, and his silence wasn’t fierce; he just didn’t have anything to say at the moment.”

    After 56 years together, Bette’s husband passed away on the eve of the pandemic. Bette, now alone, shares what had kept them together all these years, and what their long love means to her now.

    Featured stories:

    • “Widow Walks Into Wall, Finds Hope,” Bette Ann Moskowitz
    • “Seeing Her in Me,” Alicia Gabe


    Bette's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    You can find more information on today's episode here.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    25 min
  • Confronting Race on the First Date

    Andrew and Sarah met on a dating app. Their first date was just supposed to be coffee, but it lasted nine glorious hours. They talked nonstop across four San Francisco neighborhoods.

    But by 2 a.m., Sarah had an admission to make. She told Andrew, who is Asian-American, that his “race might be an issue.” Andrew was shocked. The kicker? Sarah is also Asian-American.

    Today, we hear both sides of this story — and find out where Sarah and Andrew are now.

    Featured stories:

    • “When a Dating Dare Leads to Months of Soul Searching,” Andrew Lee
    • “Manic Pixie Real Girl,” Jerico Mandybur


    Andrew’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    27 min
  • No More Secrets

    Sarah and Liz met on a blind date in New York City. Sarah ordered a club soda with a splash of cranberry juice. Liz ordered wine — twice.

    A few weeks into dating, while taking a walk together through Chelsea Market, a feeling crystallized for Liz: “I knew in the way seasons change that I would love her before this one ended.”

    In order to make this work, Liz knew she could no longer hide from Sarah that she had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

    But six weeks after they got married, Liz hit a wall. She found herself in an airport, en route to Milan, tempted by a cold escape.

    Featured stories:

    • “Flying Close to Temptation," Liz Parker
    • “What Love Feels Like," E.J. Schwartz


    Liz's story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    You can find more information on today's episode here.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    24 min
  • Dusty-Danger Dog

    Feeling election stress? Today's stories about a man and his dog may help.

    Timothy Braun was on a run through the Texas heat. When he stopped at a local animal shelter for a drink of water, he was taken by a dog who stared at him with pointy ears and mismatched eyes — one brown, one blue. He had no intention of adopting a dog, but “out of curiosity, or God knows what” he looked into the dog’s folder. It said that he'd been abandoned by an old woman. Her reason? “Dusty keeps following me around the house.”

    On today’s episode, we follow Dusty and Timothy’s relationship through two stories, seven years apart.

    Featured stories:

    • “Four-Legged Reason to Keep It Together" and "She Wanted a Man With a Good Job Who Was Nice to Animals" by Timothy Braun


    Timothy's stories story were recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    32 min
  • Devoted but Doomed

    In college, Malcolm Conner penned a rambling email intended for his crush. “You have cow eyes,” he wrote. “I know that sounds like a bad thing but have you ever looked into a cow’s eyes? They are so deep and brown and beautiful.”

    What he hadn’t disclosed — to his crush or to anyone at school — was that he was transgender and had transitioned at age 15. But he knew he had to tell this “charismatic acquaintance,” for what they had was flirtatious and unstoppable; it was, as Malcolm put it, physics.

    As it turned out, his crush had something to share too. They dated anyway — quietly, both knowing that each day of sweetness together was drawing them closer toward the last.

    Featured stories:

    • “The Physics of Forbidden Love," Malcolm Conner
    • “Strangers on a Train," Cecilia Pesao


    Malcolm’s story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publishers like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

    You can find more information on today's episode here.

    Unlock full access to New York Times podcasts and explore everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

    21 min

About Modern Love

From the publisher's feed

For more than 20 years, the Modern Love column has given New York Times readers a glimpse into the complicated love lives of real people. Since its start, the column has evolved into a TV show, three books and a podcast.

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