Mothering Anxiety

As someone who deals with abandonment issues, losing friends or people along the way of my healing journey has been something that I have very painfully needed to accept. I have always felt that if I lose someone, it was purely my fault, something I did wrong, that they finally realized the burden I was in their life and they decided to leave me.

I am still new to this idea that sometimes people are just in certain seasons of your life and that it's okay to grow up and simply move on.

Take a listen as I talk about me learning to accept that you outgrow people as you heal and it's not something that I should take personally. 

 For many years, I was stuck in the Victim mentality. I felt that because I was dealt a crappy hands of cards in life, that I deserved to be shown everyone's un-devoted  love and attention. I would purposely share certain things about my life to simply get pity parties from those who had chosen to be around me. 

It wasn't until I embarked on this healing journey that I realized what I had been doing all of that time. And it wasn't until I was able to self reflect that I was able to stop and grow from it.

I have also had to tell many people in my life that are in the same phase. Always playing the victim and never taking accountability for any of their actions. It can be frustrating but truly, I can't be one to judge for I was one of them too. 

Take a listen as I talk about my mind shift in my own Victim Hood. 

Call me an avid over thinker over here! Honestly though, I feel that all of us who deal with Anxiety are just automatically over thinkers.

I can definitely over think myself into a bad mood every day if I truly let myself. Can you? There are times where my overthinking takes me to a world of impossible and it is extremely hard to get myself back into reality. I know that this is part of me "surviving." But how do I survive without causing myself an endless amount of Anxiety?

Take a listen as I talk about overthinking and what it does to me Anxiety.

After hearing that Eminem was going to be performing at the 2022 Super Bowl Halftime Show, I went through a moment of binge listening to all of his music. I remember him at being the GOAT of cleaning out his closet, not holding back on anything he wanted to say about anyone really and truly just putting out his true feelings out for the world to hear.

I thought to myself. . . how therapeutic must that have been? And I thought about my Podcast and how this is what I've been doing. I have been sharing my life, my healing journey, and holding myself accountable as I grow and learn who I truly am without People Pleasing, while managing my Anxiety, and as I learn to love myself.

Now, I haven't cleaned out my closet to the extent of Eminem where he pointed fingers to everyone who has done him wrong but maybe I should?

Take a listen as I talk about me finally deciding if cleaning out my closet is that final step of healing for me. 

This past week leading up to Mother's Day was very triggering to me. There were many emotions and feelings that were brought up that I had to figure out why I was still letting it bother me. I decided to record an episode simply on what was running through my mind this week.

I realized that I have had to figure out how to Mother without a Mother. I have had to figure out how to do better and be better for my own Daughter to not repeat the same generational trauma patterns. I was also mourning the fact that my Mother's Days will never be the same anymore.

Take a listen as I talk about my week leading up to Mother's Day and how I had to learn from it all over again.

Nobody wants to have a Bad Day but unfortunately we can't stop them from coming. Sometimes we are anxious about an upcoming event, we were triggered by something, or some days your body just needs a reset day. 

I have learned a few tips and tricks along the way that help me be as functional as I can when these Bad Days hit. I am a Mom and a Wife and I have people that rely on me so laying in bed all day doing absolutely nothing isn't really an option for me.

Take a listen as I talk about a few things I do every day to help prepare me for an oncoming Bad Day.