Naming the Real

We tend to think of emotions as things that "just happen to us," and indeed that is part of our human experience. But we may also miss the degree to which we have a say over and agency in what emotions we experience and how we experience them. In this episode, the first in a short series on the world of emotions, we explore what Dr. Brené Brown calls "emotional granularity"—the skill of distinguishing between and naming emotions at a refined level. This skill, it turns out, is critical for emotional health and happiness and for living a flourishing life.

We deconstruct trauma by telling stories. In this episode—another conversation with Brandon's cousin, Dr. Alex Gee—the story of their black and white family is told in greater detail. But this episode is not just about race; it's about we connect, how we tell hard stories, how we be human with each other, and how we transcend trauma together.

In our first interview, Brandon, a white man, sits down with Dr. Alex Gee, his black cousin, to discuss family, race, trauma, and what "woke" actually means. Because they have both been pastors (in Alex's case, still is a pastor), their conversation culminates in a discussion of good/bad theology and the reality that "white theology" often eschews the black experience/blackness, forsaking the very lifeblood that would animate its health and vigor. Along the way, Alex invites all of us—especially white folk—out of guilt and into the power of owning our expertise and our own experience.

We live in a traumatized world where everyone has some degree of pain and trauma to be addressed. In this episode, we explore Peter Levine's work around trauma and how it gets frozen in our nervous system through an immobility (or "freeze") response. Recognizing this reality can change everything, as we discover our need to complete trauma responses by moving out of immobility and into our bodies, recovering anger as an expression of advocacy rather than aggression, and grief as a path to unfreezing. These are critical practices on the path to a flourishing life which helps change us and, ultimately, the world around us.

This episode follows the work of neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, who experienced a stroke and had her left brain (including verbal processing) go off-line in an instant. Her story leads us into an understanding of the four "characters" in our brains (two in the left hemisphere and two in the right), which are the sources of our self-focus, our fear, our drive towards connection, and our ability to experience awe, wonder, and mysticism. What is revealed is a staggering reality: we have the power to choose which brain circuitry to run and which brain characters to empower on a daily basis. In this episode we dive into the what of Bolte Taylor's research and, more important, how we can implement life-changing practices that change our thinking and our lives.

Classically, the purpose of a university is the pursuit of truth. But according to Jonathan Haidt and other sociologists, there is a movement in American universities to replace the quest for truth with a quest for social justice. This, as it turns out, is a major issue and is reflective of currents and issues in American society more generally. In this episode, we explore this crisis in education and discover that—far from being a mere academic exercise—this topic has much to teach us about how we can live more thoughtful, grounded, flourishing lives.

Trauma can keep us from living mindfully. This episode—part 3 in a mini-series on mindful living—has two parts: we start with an exploration of what trauma is and how it gets stored in our bodies. Then we turn to practices, including meditation and others practices that involve our bodies, with the goal of developing fully embodied lives that are resilient in the face of trauma and pain. The ultimate invitation is to befriend our bodies, so that we can vessels of hope, healing, and compassion in the world.

We all have chatter in our brains, and our brain is where so much of life's battle is: the mind can make us miserable, or it can set us free. In this episode, we explore scientifically-backed methods for changing the conversation in our brains, including Ethan Kross's notion of "distanced self-talk," Chip and Dan's Heath guidance on how to make better decisions, and Robert Keegan's work on moving thoughts from subject to object. The goal is a mindful life, in which we are free to observe our thoughts while not letting them dictate our reality. Because we can, in fact, step out of old, tired stories that tend to run on automatic in our brains and into new, empowering stories. And this is a crucial element of mindfulness and of living a fully flourishing life.

A brief update on some ideas and concepts to be explored in Season 3, as well as some news on what's been happening at Naming the Real. Talk soon!

Our society's acquisitive drive for "more" can keep us from experiencing "enough." Life can hurry by without being truly tasted, savored, or enjoyed, and then be over before you know it. In this episode, we explore what mindfulness is and how it can radically change our experience of every moment, interrupting our tendency to live on automatic and propelling us instead towards life-altering awareness. And we dive into three simple practices you can engage right now, in everyday life, to change your world.