Narcissistic Rage and Narcissistic Simmer

What sets off narcissistic anger? Anything and everything!!

Asking them to help in the kitchen, asking them to pickup a few groceries on the way home - how dare I inconvenience them?

Asking them how much gas is in the car - how dare I challenge their expertise in caring for the car? 

Chatting about how your day has been, chatting about your kids, telling them about how the kids are doing in school - they can’t be bothered by such mundane aspects of life

Minding my own business, not talking but just being, doing my own hobbies - how dare I not center my attention on them, how dare I put my attention elsewhere?

Asking them to keep the house quiet while the kids are asleep - how dare I tell them how to be in their own home?

Can we leave in 5 minutes for church? (The time we said we were going to leave, asked because he is still sitting on the bed in his pajamas playing on his phone) - “Do you even want me to go? I’m not going if you can’t even appreciate the effort I am putting in”

Running my windshield wipers on regular speed in my car - how dare you waste my hard-earned money by running your windshield wipers more than you should

Anything and everything is a potential catalyst for their narcissistic anger. 

You are scrambling trying to figure out all the ways to interact with them that doesn’t set off their anger. But you can’t ever succeed at this. And that anger has two distinct faces that I want to talk about today - narcissistic rage and narcissistic simmer.