NeuroDiverse Christian Couples

Continuing our Theme this month, looking at how the Church ministers to (or doesn't minister to) the entire body of Christ.
We have on the panel today representatives from Together We Care, SOAR and KeyMinistry/Disability and the Church.
Do you know the difference in Diversity- Inclusion & Belonging? The importance of community!

About our panelists
Jilliam Palmiotto/Together We Care
Jillian Palmiotto is the Founder and Executive Director of Together We Care, a Georgia-based nonprofit that equips and empowers families impacted by disabilities through strategic planning, advocacy, and practical support. With over a decade of experience in special needs ministry, Jillian also serves as the Special Needs Inclusion Coordinator at West Ridge Church and as the Executive Director of the Together Conference. Her passion for building inclusive communities is fueled by her personal journey as a special education teacher and disability ministry leader. Jillian brings a wealth of knowledge, compassion, and real-world expertise to every conversation—helping families, churches, and organizations navigate complex systems with hope and clarity.
 Doc Hunsley/SOAR
Stephen “Doc” Hunsley, M.D. is the Executive Director and founder of SOAR Special Needs in Lenexa, Kansas. SOAR (Special Opportunities, Abilities, and Relationships) serves over 1500 individuals with special needs through regular respite events and the nation’s largest Disability Day Camp. Doc is currently assisting over 725 churches locally, nationally, and globally in starting a Disability Ministry. Doc also organizes the Wonderfully Made Conference held annually every October in Kansas City. Doc is a USAF veteran and a retired disabled pediatrician while his wife, Kay, continues practicing pediatrics. They are proud parents to three beautiful children: Luke, Mark, and Sarah. The Hunsley’s middle child, Mark, is presently running the halls of heaven. During Mark’s five-year earthly stay, he gave his family the opportunity to learn from and love a child with autism.
 Dr. Steve Grcevich/Disability & the Church/Key Ministry
Dr. Steve Grcevich is a child and adolescent psychiatrist with 40 years of experience as a clinician, researcher, and professor who serves as President and Founder of Key Ministry. He plays a lead role in Key Ministry’s work to support churches in evangelism and outreach to the mental health community. He is the author of Mental Health and the Church (Zondervan), the first comprehensive model to guide churches in their mental health outreach and inclusion efforts. In his role with Key Ministry, he has been invited to speak or create resources for the American Association of Christian Counselors, the Christian Medical Dental Society, the Colson Center, the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention and the National Association of Evangelicals. He currently serves on Focus on the Family’s Physician Resource Council and is a widely requested speaker at national ministry conferences.

Today is a different feel for Just the Guys with guest panelists John Fela & Rev. Josh Davis.
This month, we are putting the focus on disability, differences, and diversity, and the Church at large!
Dan, John & Josh share personal and lived experiences, father, pastor, spiritual director, coach, and advocate experiences!
What is grief? Is that wrong? Does Grief mean God didn't do something good for me?
How is the CHURCH doing in supporting families with a member (or members) on the autism spectrum?
The Guys talk about what went well, the guilt they carry for what they didn't know at the time, forcing assimilation/masking in the 'church environment' as well as what they know now, and how churches can better come along with children/teens/families.
 John Fela:
John Fela (M.Ed) is a national disability advocate, working with both faith-based and non-faith-based disability organizations. He previously worked for Joni and Friends, a global disability ministry. Prior to that, he spent almost 20 years in education, serving in a variety of roles as a classroom teacher in both public and private school settings, as well as being a mentor teacher and school director. He holds certifications in both Montessori and traditional teaching methods and is trained in a variety of specializations, including ESL and Special Education.
John is a public speaker, a blogger for a variety of disability advocacy platforms, and the author of Faith Like My Father, a memoir of his journey as a parent of a child with a disability. John lives in Lyons, IL, with his wife, Faith, and is father to his son, Christopher (ASD/NS).
https://johnfela.com/contact/
 Josh Davis:
Josh Davis is not just a pastor—he is an advocate for neurodivergent individuals, using his platform to share hearts, build bridges, and encourage understanding in a world that often overlooks the unique experiences of those with autism and ADHD. He invites you to explore your own faith, engage in self-discovery, and discover the endless possibilities that lie ahead as you seek a deeper connection with yourself and God.
Don’t miss out on the ongoing conversation about faith and neurodivergence.


To connect further, find Josh on Facebook, Instagram, or email at: [email protected]. Or, for personal encouragement on your own neurodivergence journey, consider booking a spiritual direction session with Josh on Patreon.
Listen to NeuroDivergent Faith podcast at:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2441513/episodes/16504569-discovering-autism-adhd-through-faith-josh-s-journey-of-self-discovery

Continuing this month's theme of the CHURCH and how she supports the marginalized, hurting, and least of these. Today, Dr. Stephanie and Barb talk with Sarah McDugal about women and children in abusive situations, navigating the courts and the Church.

About Sarah, in her own words:
BIO:
I’m Sarah McDugal, co-founder of Wilderness to WILD and the TraumaMAMAs mobile app. 
I’m an author, coach, survivor, and TraumaMAMA.
As an autistic woman and survivor of both domestic violence and child sexual assault -- my hyper focus is developing gentle, proven resources for women who want to heal after toxic and traumatic stress. 
 I'm trained in:
the Deceptive Sexual Trauma Model, and
APSATS (the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)
And I'm a Certified Assessor with the Johns Hopkins Danger Assessment.
Some of my books include:
He Chose Porn Over Me: Women Harmed by Men Who Use Porn
Myths We Believe: Predators We Trust
One Face: Shed the Mask, Own Your Values, and Lead Wisely
My goal is to provide accessible, affordable, authentic tools to guide you out of the wilderness of abuse, into the WILD thriving post-trauma life that waits ahead.
How to find out more!

Check out what I’m doing for (almost exclusively) ND protective parents these days: www.myfreedomnavigator.com
the SCOOP - Group Coaching Membership
www.wildernesstowild.com/the-scoop 
 Righteous or Rotten? How to know if it is biblically bad enough to divorce
https://www.wildernesstowild.com/unholy-fruit-your-wild-guide-to-discerning-toxic-character 
 Her two websites:
https://www.wildernesstowild.com/
https://www.myfreedomnavigator.com/

This month, we are focusing on autism/neurodiversity faith issues and the church!

Starting out the month with permission from a former guest, Josh Davis, we are airing his "What Autistics Want the Church to Know."
Dan and I introduced this topic for March, sharing a story from our daughter from our book Embracing the Autism Spectrum, and part 2 of our personal stories will be on Patreon. NeuroDiverse Christian Couples: Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage & Family

February is the month of love- what is real love- real hesed- sacrificial love? How did Adam love Eve?

Today is not our usual crew, but a discussion with guest Russell Grigsby about a book that radically changed his mindset about loving his wife well.

In this episode of Just the Guys, Dan sits down with entrepreneur and executive coach Russell Grigsby to talk about late-in-life autism diagnosis, trauma, pride, and the hard work of rebuilding a marriage. Russell shares how childhood wounds, avoidant attachment, and unrecognized autism shaped his relationships — and how confronting shame, embracing humility, and rethinking biblical leadership transformed his life at home. Through books, prayer, coaching, and intentional growth, he learned to stop trying to fix his spouse and instead take responsibility for his own healing. The result is a marriage marked by safety, connection, and hope. This conversation is an honest look at what happens when a man chooses humility over defensiveness and growth over comfort.

Books Mentioned:

• Mending the Soul Groups found at: MendingthesoulFind a Group

• Adam loves Eve

• Escaping Enemy Mode

• Brene Brown's books on Shame and Vulnerability

  About Russell:
Russell is passionate about encouraging others to fulfill their destiny. In one-on-one settings, Russell helps men and women discover what they are designed to do and then pursue their calling. After receiving an MBA from SMU in 1982, Russell began his career in commercial banking in Austin, Texas. After six years in banking, he joined a series of startups as CFO. He discovered he loved the startup process and began founding and running his own companies.

Since 1993, he has run financial services, biotech, real estate, and mining companies. He loves building new businesses and creating a vision for their success. Russell is excited to work as a C12 Chair and call on his long entrepreneurial career to help others accomplish their God-given dreams. He loves meeting with people one-on-one to hear their stories and hear about their calling.

Along the way, Russell has passionately pursued intimacy with God. As a follower of Jesus since 1967, Russell has had a profound relationship with God that continues to grow daily. He is a retreat speaker and loves to teach about living with greater power and authority as a believer in Jesus.

Russell and his wife, Gina, live in Southwest Austin. They share five grown sons and a daughter.

Welcome back to part 2 of the Gold Standard of Care!

If you did not hear part one, go back to January 19th to hear the panel introductions and what we believe is the Gold standard of care! We talk through some myths and stereotypes and share some truths about autism/neurodiversity and marriage.

Jeremy tackles: Should you force a neurodivergent partner to undergo assessment?
Barbara: Neurodiversity is not the ONLY issue in your marriage.
Jenilee: Autism can express itself differently in girls/women
Robin: Emotional Regulation is part of Executive Function and is not a character issue
Shawna: It is a fallacy that ND people should be encouraged to watch porn to learn how to have sex or what
their spouses would like in their intimate life
Dan: While you may never achieve the level of empath as an ND/AS husband, you can become more relational
Stephanie: What is the cause of autism? How to read research critically.

The study Dr. Stephanie mentions that holds a high standard of research credibility: Association of Genetic and Environmental Factors With Autism in a 5-Country Cohort

(2019)

FULL study available: journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2737582

Today, our guest is Jeremy Rochford of NeuroFM and a fellow Neurodiverse couples' coach! Jeremy is a regular on Just the Guys, and today he talks about his coaching model, Only Chasing Safety (OCS). Why is safety important, and is it okay to rob someone else's safety for your safety?

Today, in the month of love, we talk about sacrificial love in your neurodiverse marriage. Many view this month of love and Valentine's Day as a day for big romantic gestures, but what about living out love every day? How is your love beneficial and sacrificial without giving up yourself? Dying to yourself does mean abandonment of self, but often there are competing needs and wants in an ND marriage.

Part 2 will be on Patreon, and we will share more of what is going on in our personal lives, how, and what this means for us right now!

Are you able to join hands or lock arms in hard times? Are you walking through life as friends, lovers, enemies, or strangers?

Summary:
  In this first episode of the year, the guys crack open the idea of what it means to be new—not just with gym memberships and resolutions, but deep in the rewiring of old patterns, assumptions, and emotional blind spots.
 Dan kicks things off by admitting his old “default setting” was to walk in the door wondering what he’d done wrong—proof that sometimes the battlefield is the hallway between the garage and the living room. From there, Jeremy confesses his own default: being right about everything. But a surprising comment from his son at a hockey game (“There’s so much more going on than what’s on TV”) hits him like a puck to the head and opens up a whole new way of seeing relationships.
 Kevin brings in the pastor’s line, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”—and discovers that relational victory doesn’t always mean keeping score. Dan, meanwhile, reflects on curiosity as an antidote to assumption, while Jeff learns that geology may rock, but people matter more.
 Between dad jokes about rock stars, cul-de-sacs, and Fraggle Rock sing-alongs, the group lands somewhere between reflection and revelation:
 Becoming aware of your patterns.
Accepting feedback without self-defense.
Taking action toward connection, not correction.
  By the end, they circle back to hope. If yesterday was about living on autopilot, this year is about choosing manual drive. “Participating in my own discovery,” Dan quips, “gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”
 So whether you’re trying to read a face, repair a marriage, or just survive mornings before coffee, this conversation reminds you—every default can be rewritten.
 Pull Quotes
 “There’s so much more going on than what’s on the screen.”
“Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”
“Participating in my own discovery gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”
 #justtheguys #danholmes #actuallyautistic #neurodiversecoupletips #neurodiverse men