They say opinions are like A$$holes: everyone has one. Well you're in luck frag hags because this very special Nose Candy Hotline episode has THREE! That's right, this week Maddie and Chloe are joined by artist, writer, sage advisor, and host of the hilarious podcast Dial Dan, Dan Allegretto! These three armchair experts are rolling up their sleeves, spraying down their wrists, and fastening on their thinking caps to answer your burning fragrance questions. That means everything from office scents to potato perfumes and mall goth musks to discontinuation discontent. Do you want to smell like fomo? What about blind buy regret? A locker room lookie-loo? Clock in, hunker down, and listen up because this episode is peppered with opinions that you should NOT take with a grain of salt!

Want even more from genius NYC bestie Dan Allegretto? RUN to patreon.com/dial_dan, follow him on insta @dan_allegretto and twitter @dan_allegretto!

Fragrances Discussed:

Clue With The Candlestick

Tauer Lonestar Memories

Burning Barbershop by DS & Durga

Drakkar Noir by Guy LeRoche

Coven by Andrea Maack

Abercombie Fierce

Comme Des Garcons Man 2

Creed Silver Mountain Water

Encre Noire à L'Extreme by Lalique

Encre Noir by Lalique

Kerosene Black Vines

Guerlain Insolence

Comme des Garcons by Comme des Garcons

Van Py Rhum by Lorenzo Pazzaglia

Naked Dance by Oddity

Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers

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Join your girls as they plumb the spiritual depths for a look into past life perfumes, which means everything from an incarnated infanticide frag, to an occulty Manson Family musk. Do you want to smell like the inherent darkness of the human soul? Or better a perfume that projects Pernicious Woman? A cosmic compendium of cherry chapsticks? Whether you're a gay housewife or a dirty Dubai chocolate bar, this is one Gelted and GOAT-ed episode that is best enjoyed in this lifetime.

Fragrances Discussed:

Slightly-B!tch by Filippo Sorcinelli

Encre Noire by Lalique

Attaquer Le Soleil by Etat Libre D'Orange

Encens Suave by Matiere Premiere

Age of Innocence by Toscovat

Inexcusable Evil by Toscovat

DS & Durga Peanut

Dirty Chocolate, a custom Caspsule Parfum

Glossier You

Santal 33 by Le Labo

Tailor-Made perfume sessions with @capsuleparfumerie

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Curious about what happens when two frag hags stop being polite and start getting real? This is The Real World, Nose Candy edition, which means your fake ass hosts are finally cutting the crap and smelling it like it is. The gals are sharing their favorite Real perfumes which means everything from a sex work scent, a Midsommar musk, and Palm Springs potpouri. Whether you're in the pocket of big Little Gem, swinging on a shag carpet, or just sipping on olive juice, this is one fresh, frank, and fragrant ep you won't want to miss.

Fragrances Discussed:

Angel by Mugler

Donna Sentenza by Hilde Soliani

Coven by Andrea Maack

Bruno Acampora Young Hearts

Moral Map by Clue

Warm Bulb by Clue

With The Candlestick by Clue

You Or Someone Like You by Etat Libre D'Orange

Alguien II by Alguien

Mossy Glen by Villa Erbatium

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Want to know the frags Maddie and Chloe spray when they're feeling fraudulent? This week the fakest b!ches you know met up to talk about fragrance phonies, which means a banquette bouquet, a compote cologne and honey-ed horse chestnut. Whether you enjoy pudding with fall leaves, black pepper shortbread, or simply hair in your food, this is one bull$hit, bunk, and bogus ep you won't want to miss!

Fragrances Discussed:

Tonka Cola by Mancera

Panettone by Milano Fragranze

Hilde Soliani Sale e Pepe

Hilde Soliani Hot Milk

Santa Maria Novella Tabacco Toscano

Miller Harris Soufflot

Miller Harris Feuilles de Tabac

Baruti Chai

Cafe V by Olympic Orchids

SM Cafe by Strangers Parfumerie

Cachouli by Strangers Parfumerie

Warm Bulb by Clue

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This week the ladies are shining their scepters and filling their chalices just in time for an enchanted, ember-cloaked episode. Follow these bards along the wandering bridge to the Empire of Perfumoria and unlock the key to their Dark Twisted Perfume Fantasy. That means everything from a Bert and Ernie scent to a public library perfume and a mythic Mad Men fragrance. Whether you're a Dragon Rider, a Fae, a Wizard, or a necromancer, this is one elven and ethereal episode you won't want to miss!

Fragrances Discussed:

Warm Bulb by Clue

Les Cahiers Secrets by Jouissance

Drakkar Noir by Guy Laroche

Relique d'Amour by Oriza L. Legrand

Byredo Bibliothèque

M/Mink by Byredo

Animalique by Byredo

Aromatics Elixir by Clinique

Ile Mythique by Chabaud

Lait et Chocolat by Chabaud

Lait Concentre by Chabaud

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This week your ladies are Nude as the News just in a time for a buckwild episode all about naked perfumes! That means the ladies are disinfecting with a Fabuloso frag, scrubbing down with a St. Ives scent, and embracing the malodorous with Un Musc. All that plus a list of potential perfumer pod guests, Chloe's choreography playbook, and Maddie's brand new perfume collection setup.

Want to see these two bare it all ON VIDEO? Subscribe at patreon.com/nosecandy for Patreon-exclusive Nose Candy video episodes. You know you wanna see the gals live and in color!

Fragrances Discussed:

Molecule 01 by Escentric Molecules

Pink Sugar by Aquolina

Baccarat Rouge 540

Andrea Maack Pavilion

Comme Des Garcons Marseille

Delina by Parfums de Marly

Essential Faith Perfume

Un Musc by Obvious Parfums

Une Vanille by Obvious Parfums

Une Figue by Obvious Parfums 

Debaser by DS and Durga

Fighissimo by Hilde Soliani

Philosykos by Diptyque

Alluring Fig by Theodoros Kalotinis

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What do Anne Hathaway, Padma Lakshmi, and Tom Cruise all have in common? They’re all card carrying members of the brunette union. For this tall dark and handsome ep Maddie and Chloe met up to discuss their favorite scents for brunettes, which meant architecture accords, benzoin bouquets, and a very special Passover perfume. Whether your hair is chestnut, chocolate, carmel or mahogany, this is a warm, rich, and tawny episode you won’t want to miss!

Fragrances Discussed:

Olene by Diptyque

Child by Susan D. Owens 

Green Spell by Eris 

Coven by Andrea Maack

Liis Rose Struck

Rien by Etat Libre D’Orange

Ambre Sultan by Serge Lutens

Aqua de Parma Colonia

Fleur d’Oranger by Serge Lutens 

Encense Suave by Matiere Premiere

Ma Nishtana by Prissana

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This week your resident aesthetes met up to talk about perfumes that just smell... pretty. That means everything from French candy frags, to pound cake perfumes to a lobster bisque bouquet-- but this episode is more than just a pretty face! The search for the ultimate pretty girl perfume means tackling tough questions, such as: where can a girl get a pair of McQueen Armadillo boots? is Chloe's dream of quivering oysters a subconscious lesbian awakening? Why is Letterboxd called that? Whether you're a Pretty Mess, too pretty to work, or pretty much over reading this, pretty pretty please will you listen to this ep?

Fragrances Discussed:

Tihota by Indult

Casamorati Lira

Delta of Venus by Eris

Sweet Parmesan Violet by Hilde Soliani

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This week the ladies met up for a very timely episode in honor of the reason all student films look like that: the late great David Lynch. Inspired by their favorite artist's unique brand of terrifying cheeriness, the gals are talking about the surreal perfumes in their collections that are a bit.. askew. That means glass-scented sunshine, wood mill musk, tour bus toilet, and tampax top notes. From the scent of a Hollywood bungalow to meditation musk to a Laura Palmer perfume, these are the frags your gals are huffing like Dennis Hopper in memoriam of the best to ever do it. RIP!

Fragrances Discussed:

Crystal Saffron by Matiere Premiere 

Uncut Gems by Frederic Malle 

Radical Rose by Matiere Premiere  

Celine Black Tie

Another 13 by Le Labo

Fantomas by Nasomatto

Erba Pura by Xerjoff

Secretions Magnifiques By Etat Libre D'Orange

Bois de Balincourt by Maison Louis Marie

Arsalan by Prin

Inexcusable Evil by Toskovat

Jungle Jezebel by Sarah Baker

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Can you guess which perfumes made the Nose Candy ladies :) and :( in 2024? Maddie and Chloe met up to discuss the year's most fragrant foibles and most redolent rewards, which means hair gel perfume, muffled roses, and a healthy spray of wax seal. Listen in as Chloe delves into her intergalactic voyage to meet Mr Universe, while Maddie scores a life-changing DILF perfume at their annual holiday scent swap. Whether you see the glass half full or are waiting for the other shoe to drop, this is a tart, tangy, toothsome little TBT you won't want to miss!

Fragrances Discussed:

Davidoff Cool Water

CK be

Eau de Protection by Etat Libre D'Orange

Portrait of a Lady by Frederic Malle

Radical Rose by Matiere Premiere

Jo Malone Red Roses

Serge Lutens La Fille De Berlin

Rauque by Roberto Greco

Tropic of Capricorn by Olympic Orchids

Tocadilly by Tocade

La Religieuse by Serge Lutens

Ambre Sultan by Serge Lutens

Chergui by Serge Lutens

L'Eau Serge Lutens

L'Eau d'Hermès

Estée Lauder Aramis

Fracas by Robert Piguet

Acqua di Gio

Fille de Joie Serge Lutens 

Rose Highland by Jorum Studio

Les Chaussons Rouges by Odette Parfum Co and Pearfat Parfum

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