The curse of capable: you look after everyone, you're constantly disappointed no one matches you, and deep down you believe being useful is how you're loved. This week, I'm talking about why perfection is control and not peace, why the goal is to be redundant, and the joy of learning to be secretly capable.

The Energy Club is for anyone who wants to take responsibility for their energy. People who want support, accountability and inspiration. Sign up now at lisaoneill.co.nz

Release yourself from past versions of you, and turn your wounds into wisdom. This week, I'm sharing a timeline journaling exercise for exactly that, mapping your life in chunks and finding the advantage hiding in even the hard bits. Plus a glorious Spring Fling, why I've moved to giving experiences over gifts, and yes, it's the 21st of September.

Whatever you believe, you're right and this week I'm pointing that at Christmas, which is ten weeks away whether you like it or not. A little planning now gets you ahead, and Christmas is far more optional than we pretend. Plus: why spending Friday making paper flowers bigger than my head makes me better at work.

No one is you, and that is your power. After two weeks in Bali and Fiji giving all four of my energies a proper workout, that's the message I keep landing on. This week, I'm talking about my training in doing nothing, why a 67-year-old singer on a Wellington stage is my new role model, and the one job only you can do: being the most you that you can be.

We get so rigid in who we think we are. Quiet, shy, not confident, always the organiser. This week I invite you to play with the energy of opposites: do the opposite of your instinct and meet a different version of yourself. Go big instead of small, loud instead of quiet, and bust out of the box everyone's put you in.

The Energy Club is for anyone who wants to take responsibility for their energy. People who want support, accountability and inspiration. Sign up now at lisaoneill.co.nz

We're all born with three things: a mind, a body, and a lifetime. How you use the first two determines the third. This week I'm talking about your head diet, why worrying is a waste of your time (be a nonstick fry pan), and why my biggest fear of being frail has turned me into someone who refuses help lifting her own bag. Nourish it, rest it, strengthen it.

You are not the voice in your head. You're just the one who hears it. This week, I'm talking Michael Singer, why your thoughts are just goldfish swimming around a bowl, and the question I ask myself every hour of every day: what would make my energy better?

Being sick tipped me straight into the victim corner which isn't where I usually live. This week I'm talking about Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle: victim, persecutor, and rescuer. None of them are the answer, we all have a default, and once you can see these energies in your relationships, you genuinely can't un-see them.

The Energy Club is for anyone who wants to take responsibility for their energy. People who want support, accountability and inspiration. Sign up now at lisaoneill.co.nz

This week, I'm talking about why sleep isn't optional when people rely on your energy, and the thing we're all so bad at: doing nothing. My challenge to you? Get one full day to yourself out of the next seven.

This week, I'm laughing my way through a birthday audit. I use my birthday like an end-of-financial-year review: what's working, what needs fixing, what does version 5.6 of me need? I'm talking food, fitness, why I don't drink, and the line I keep coming back to: if you fuck up your body, you've got nowhere to live.