OFF STAGE with Lisa O'Neill

Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. That’s Maya Angelou, and it’s the whole premise of my new book, Do You. This week I’m talking about your biggest job (doing you), reframing the upside of your so-called flaws, surrounding yourself with beautiful things on purpose, and the line I want you saying all week: I’m doing it my way.

If you don’t dress like everyone else, you don’t have to think like everyone else. That’s Iris Apfel, and it’s my whole philosophy this week. I’m talking about dressing like the happiest version of yourself (not the hottest), why saving your favourite things “for best” is nonsense, and my wish for you: wear something no one else likes.

A surprise trip that went gloriously sideways taught me everything about the three parts of experience - anticipation, participation, reflection. This week I'm talking about why the planning is often the best bit, a simple idea for shifting a culture that badly needs it ("that's not okay," said out loud and with love), and the Byron Katie line holding it all together: everything happens for you, not to you.

Our bodies hold on to what our minds won't say. This week, craving space in Nelson, I'm talking about Louise Hay's work and how emotional energy gets trapped in the body - shoulders for responsibility, hips for moving forward, the calendar-fear behind one friend's hay fever. Lie down, have a meeting with your body, and listen to what it's telling you.

The Energy Club is for anyone who wants to take responsibility for their energy. People who want support, accountability and inspiration. Sign up now at lisaoneill.co.nz

This week, from a stormy stopover in Nelson, I'm talking about being a proper life addict, squashing catch-ups and experiences in around the work, why I built the Purpose Planner to hold all of it, and how to make your own week a little bit juicier.

The curse of capable: you look after everyone, you're constantly disappointed no one matches you, and deep down you believe being useful is how you're loved. This week, I'm talking about why perfection is control and not peace, why the goal is to be redundant, and the joy of learning to be secretly capable.

The Energy Club is for anyone who wants to take responsibility for their energy. People who want support, accountability and inspiration. Sign up now at lisaoneill.co.nz

Release yourself from past versions of you, and turn your wounds into wisdom. This week, I'm sharing a timeline journaling exercise for exactly that, mapping your life in chunks and finding the advantage hiding in even the hard bits. Plus a glorious Spring Fling, why I've moved to giving experiences over gifts, and yes, it's the 21st of September.

Whatever you believe, you're right and this week I'm pointing that at Christmas, which is ten weeks away whether you like it or not. A little planning now gets you ahead, and Christmas is far more optional than we pretend. Plus: why spending Friday making paper flowers bigger than my head makes me better at work.

No one is you, and that is your power. After two weeks in Bali and Fiji giving all four of my energies a proper workout, that's the message I keep landing on. This week, I'm talking about my training in doing nothing, why a 67-year-old singer on a Wellington stage is my new role model, and the one job only you can do: being the most you that you can be.

We get so rigid in who we think we are. Quiet, shy, not confident, always the organiser. This week I invite you to play with the energy of opposites: do the opposite of your instinct and meet a different version of yourself. Go big instead of small, loud instead of quiet, and bust out of the box everyone's put you in.

The Energy Club is for anyone who wants to take responsibility for their energy. People who want support, accountability and inspiration. Sign up now at lisaoneill.co.nz