Our January 5 conversation with Mary Van Geffen, Parenting “Spicy” Boys, is ON BOYS’ Most Popular Episode of 2023. (And Jen’s sons’ least favorite! Gen Z defines “spicy” quite differently than we’re using it here.)

Sure, this episode, released early in the year, had the benefit of time. But Mary’s message also resonates with frustrated and overwhelmed parents of boys. As she told us,

“Spicy” boys are those who express themselves in big and loud ways, feel things intensely, and have energy to spare. They “have so much loyalty toward their own soul — and less to the adults’ agenda.”

Mary’s audience continues to grow — she has over 286,000 Instagram followers! — because parents need help supporting their strong, spicy kids. You’ll want to listen to this episode more than once because a) it contains a lot of wisdom and b) because your spicy kids are now likely challenging you in ways they weren’t the first time you listened!

In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Mary discuss:

• Characteristics of a Spicy One
• Why shame-based discipline approaches don’t work with spicy boys
• How your perceptions affect your parenting & relationship w your child
• Parenting when you are spicy or highly sensitive
• A sensual pause technique you can use to calm your nervous system
• How changing your voice can help you reach your kids
• Setting boundaries & managing others’ expectations
• Grocery shopping with boys

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

maryvangeffen.com – Mary’s website

https://www.instagram.com/maryvangeffen/ — Mary on Instagram

Highly Sensitive People Can Thrive — ON BOYS episode

Highly Sensitive Boys with William Allen — ON BOYS episode

Sensitive Boys (w Dr. Sandy Gluckman) — ON BOYS episode

Brain-Body Parenting w Dr. Mona Delahooke — ON BOYS episode

Positive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours — book by Shirzad Chamine (recommended by Mary)

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