Black Girl Burnout

Opt Into Softness as Survival


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In this episode, Kelley explores why softness is not collapse or avoidance—but a survival strategy in hard times. As the world feels increasingly heavy, she reframes softness as discernment, protection, and a way to stay human without disappearing. Through personal reflection and practical examples, Kelley invites listeners to release constant bracing and reconnect with their bodies, boundaries, and choices. This episode is a reminder that tenderness is not a liability—it’s how we endure with our humanity intact.

Key Takeaways
  • Softness is not weakness—it’s an embodied way of staying present and human in the face of prolonged stress and uncertainty.
  • Armoring yourself isn’t sustainable; long-term hardness shrinks empathy, imagination, and joy.
  • Softness gives you choices—what to take in, what can wait, and what is (and is not) yours to carry.
Episode Highlights & Timestamps
  • 00:00–03:08 — Why prioritizing softness can feel unrealistic right now—and why it matters more than ever
  • 04:00–07:28 — Letting go of survival-mode “warrior” identity and redefining strength
  • 08:00–09:00 — Softness as protection: discernment, nervous system flexibility, and choice
  • 10:35–14:54 — Practical tools: checking your “battery,” releasing what can wait, and putting down what isn’t yours
A Gentle Invitation to Apply This Episode

Today, pause and ask yourself one soft, honest question: “What is my capacity right now?”

If you’re running low, give yourself permission to take in less—less news, less emotional labor, less urgency. If you have more energy, choose one thing to engage with intentionally, not reflexively. Softness doesn’t require fixing your whole life—it begins with one moment of discernment, one boundary, one small release of tension. Let that be enough for today.

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Black Girl BurnoutBy Kelley Bonner

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