Imagine getting all fancied up for a first date. Super excited to be going out with this person. You’ve been waiting for a while for this evening, and now it is here. You change clothes 4 times. Nothing seems to be good enough. You fix your hair just right. You check yourself in the mirror 20 times. Nothing in my teeth, good. How’s my smile? Hair? Make-up? Jewelry? You’ve been prepping for over 2 hours. Ok, time to go.

You meet them at the restaurant. They look amazing. They took the time to get all fixed up too. They really put on their best. Time for this first date.

You sit down and the first thing you do is pull out a checklist of all the things you don’t want in a relationship. All the red flags. All the reasons to get up and  leave. And you start checking them. 

They are too tall. Too short. They don’t smile when I’m talking. They smile too much. On and on this list goes of all the reasons to leave.

Is this how your relationship started? Were you already trying to leave before it even started? Or was your checklist a list of all the good things about them? All the reasons to stay? Their eyes are beautiful. They are so attentive to what I’m saying. Their laugh makes me smile. What stood out to you? The reasons to stay or the reasons to leave?

Today we are talking about when you wake up one day and realize that you are living out of alignment with yourself, that your system, your body, mind, soul, life are out of whack and you are wondering how did I get here and what do I do now.

I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse.

• Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone? 

I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com

Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse

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