Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

We’re back with another parent interview in which Rebecca shares her story of sending her young daughter to wilderness. Rebecca openheartedly shares how her daughter showed out-of-bound behavior throughout her entire life, even when she was a baby. Things eventually took a turn for the worse and Rebecca and her husband decided to send their daughter to wilderness. 

In this episode parent interview, we discuss:

• Rebecca’s experiences in sending her young daughter to wilderness;
• Learning to unenmesh with your teen;
• Becoming your own person while still showing up in your parent role;
• How consistent boundaries help facilitate healthy relationships with our children;
• The effects on siblings;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Do you ever feel in your gut that you should or shouldn’t do something, but you then take the opposite route? You ignore your inner knowing, overthink, look for justifications and betray yourself.

Even though we are instinctual beings, we live in a society that teaches us that we’re not. And it takes practice to start listening to our instincts again and to build the skill of listening to our own inner knowing. 

In this episode on self-betrayal, we discuss:

• What does self-betrayal mean?;
• Ignoring our inner knowing;
• Examples out of our own lives;
• Coming up with justifications;
• Seeking external validation;
• Taking on the role of the victim;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

So many well-intentioned therapists and people in the therapeutic industry suggest using ‘I feel’ statements to parents and families. What I see though, is that they’re not working. I want to shout from the rooftops: STOP THE ‘I FEEL’ STATEMENTS! But during my conversation with Seth, I realized it’s not about using them but it’s about the way we use them. So how are we currently misusing ‘I feel’ statements and how and when can we use them in an appropriate and effective way? That’s what we discuss in today’s episode!

In this episode on ‘I-feel’ statements we discuss:

• How are ‘I feel’ statements being misused?;
• The benefits of ‘I feel’ statements for kids and teens;
• Things to take into account when using ‘I feel’ statements as a parent;
• Pitfalls around ‘I feel’ statements;
• Conclusion: should we use ‘I feel’ statements or not?
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

The process and struggle doesn’t just stop after wilderness. In this second part of my interview with single parent Amy, we talk about the journey she and her daughter went through after wilderness. Their journey was full of ups and downs and looking back, Amy wishes she had made some different choices. 

In this parent interview we discuss:

• How Amy coped with the ups and downs;
• The various treatment programs Amy’s daughter went through after wilderness;
• Dealing with the what-ifs;
• What Amy has learned through all of this;
• Being an emotionally consistent parent;
• Building trust;
• And much more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Today, I’m interviewing a single mom named Amy whose daughter suffered from depressive thoughts, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. After trying several interventions at home like anti-depressants and PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program), Amy decided to send her just 15-year-old daughter to wilderness, followed by several treatment programs. 

Amy talks about how she discovered her emotionally enmeshed pattern with her daughter and how she learned to step back from being an emotionally helicopter parent. Listen closely to the interesting realization Amy had that it’s the family system as a whole that needed to shift, not just her daughter.

In this parent interview, we discuss:

• Amy’s experiences of trying out other things before deciding on wilderness;
• Her struggles as a mom trying to figure out what to do and how to do it;
• What Amy’s enmeshment patterns looked like;
• Helicopter parenting;
• Amy’s struggles throughout the transition when her daughter came home from wilderness.
• Getting to the place of acceptance;
• How Amy can create stillness within herself;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

Enmeshment is a term to describe a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. Getting out of an enmeshment pattern is all about taking responsibility for your own part. But let’s be real, that’s not easy. That’s because your brain is in defense mode. It’s trying to protect you by blaming the other because it does not want to do the work itself.

We want to start holding our boundaries. But how do we get there? In today’s episode, I’ll dive deep into the 4-step plan to get out of a pattern of enmeshment and power struggles and start holding your boundaries.

In this episode on getting out of enmeshment and power struggles, we discuss:

• What is enmeshment?
• A personal example of my enmeshment pattern
• 4 steps to get out of a pattern of enmeshment and power struggles and start holding your boundaries
• Taking responsibility for your own part

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

As parents, we tend to think we know what’s best for our teens. And guess what? Our teens think in the same way. “If my parents would only do xyz…” In the moment, blaming someone else feels easier than taking responsibility. It’s human but it isn’t helpful.

We want to make the shift from being reactive to being responsive. In today’s episode, Seth and I share small, actionable steps you can take to start taking accountability for your own part.

In this episode on taking accountability for our own part, we discuss:

• What is your part as a parent and what is not?;
• How can we stop blaming the other person and start taking responsibility for our own part?;
• Beth’s experiences from the parent's perspective and Seth’s experiences from the teen’s perspective;
• Step-by-step on how to start taking accountability for your part (in a conflict);
• Red flags to watch out for;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

How do you take space for yourself to process everything life throws at you when you feel depleted and your bucket is empty? That’s what I’m talking about today with Seth Gottlieb. 

Life happens. Varying from regular life stressors to having children or loved ones making really tough choices. It can leave us feeling thinned out and those tend to be the moments we act from a place of reaction instead of taking the time to process. Even though taking this time to feel our feelings is exactly what is most helpful.

In this episode on feeling your feelings to increase your bandwidth, we discuss:

• How to increase your bandwidth;
• What taking time can look like;
• What you need to become aware of to increase your bandwidth;
• Learning how to feel and allow your feelings;
• Finding out how YOU can replenish;
• Honoring feelings during busy times;
• And more!

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!

We’re back with the second part of the parent interview with Sandi and Don, parents of a post-wilderness teen. If you haven’t listened to the first part of my interview with Sandi and Don, go check out the previous episode first. 

Sandi and Don decided to bring their son directly home from wilderness and today we discuss what happened once their son was back home. We talk about:

• What was it like once their son returned home from wilderness?;
• The reason behind old behaviours returning;
• Their process of finding mutually beneficial boundaries;
• Emotional consequensing;
• Viewing hard times as time of growth;
• What advice they would give their pre-wilderness self.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

- - - - - - - - - -

Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any future episodes!

It was just hell on earth. That’s how Sandi describes their home situation before she and her husband Don sent their son to wilderness.

This episode is for you if you are researching options to help your struggling teen, considering wilderness for your kid, or if your kid is currently in wilderness.

In this parent interview with Sandi and Don, we discuss:

• What it felt like sending their son to wilderness;
• The fears they felt regarding wilderness;
• What it was like when their son was away;
• Their experiences with wilderness and whether they feel like wilderness delivered on what it said it was going to go;
• When they first realized they had work to do themselves as parents;
• How they made the decision to bring their son home straight from wilderness;
• What it was like when their son came home with a whole new skill set that they hadn’t learned yet themselves.

If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.bethhillmancoaching.com. And if you’re interested in working with me, you can learn more about my private coaching here or my group coaching here.

And remember parents, the change begins with us.

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Ps. Are you getting great value out of this podcast? It would mean the world to me if you could leave a review on Apple Podcasts. This way, you will help me reach and help more parents of struggling teens develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. You can leave a review by clicking here, scrolling to the bottom, tapping to leave a star rating and then write your review. Thanks so much!

And if you haven’t already done so, make sure to subscribe to our show so you don’t miss any of my future episodes!