Becoming: HER with Nikki Spoelstra

Parenting with Dignity with Evelyn Mendal. Ep. 172


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Welcome back! This week we have Evelyn Mendal who is a mom to two strong-willed, different humans, who are seven and a half years apart. She is a licensed Child and Adolescent Therapist providing individual family therapy and parent coaching with her practice, Hatch and Bloom, which she founded in 2012. Evelyn’s areas of expertise are parenting and child development and she founded Hatch and Bloom as a resource for parents who want to parent with the purpose of raising confident, accepted, and resilient children. Tune in!

In this episode…

Hatch and Bloom Ethos

Stereotyping your Child

Separating Personal Character Traits vs. Describing Behavior

Sibling Dynamics

Creating Opportunities to be Collaborative vs Competitive

Idea of Fairness

Humanizing Emotions

Externalizing Meaning for Kids

Aspects of Co-Parenting with Kids

Perfectionism

Boundaries

 

Quotes

“The messaging our kids get from the way that they’re treated is how they start to understand who they are” - Evelyn Mendal

“Don’t speak to them as who they are, but rather the behavior that you’re seeing” - Evelyn Mendal

“You don’t have to make everything fair” - Evelyn Mendal

“Kids can handle hard realities, it’s how we deliver it” - Evelyn Mendal

“It wasn’t necessarily the child that needed therapy, it was the parents that needed coaching” - Nikki Spo

“Pretending to show up with a happy face or a pretended happy face is not serving them” - Evelyn Mendal

Timestamps:

0:00 - 0:30 | Reflecting, Letting Go, & Reprogramming ourselves
0:30 - 2:44 | Intro
2:44 - 6:39 | “The way we talk to our Children becomes our inner voice”
6:39 - 7:18 | Having Transparency
7:18 - 9:18 | Falling into Roles
9:18 - 10:21 | Roles in a Family Dynamic
10:21 - 13:13 | Sibling Competitiveness
13:13 - 14:00 | Collaborative vs. Competitive
14:00 - 16:57 | Protecting your Kids Individuality
16:57 - 18:01 | Fairness
18:01 - 24:00 | Acknowledging the Elephant in the Room
24:00 - 25:24 | Internalized vs Externalized Meaning
25:24 - 31:00 | Confident and Capable Attitude with Hard Things
31:00 - 32:25 | One Stable Caregiver
32:25 - 34:38 | Parents Needing Coaching & Kids needing Therapy
34:38 - 35:41 | Learning a New Way to Be in the Face of Triggers
35:41 - 38:45 | Kids Needing to See a Whole Range of Our Feelings
38:45 - 42:00 | Managing Perfectionism
42:00 - 43:30 | “Gentle” Parenting
43:00 - 46:06 | Straight to the Boundary & Cause and Effect
46:06 - 48:43 | Dignity in Parenting
48:43 - 49:32 | Outro


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Join Becoming Her

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Connect with Evelyn Mendal

https://www.hatchandbloom.co
@hatchandbloomco
 

Connect with Nikki

www.nikkispo.com
@nikkisappso / @theknowwithnikkispo
 


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