Parenting with Impact

High-conflict divorce can feel like a life sentence — especially when you're fighting over your child's health and well-being, and neither parent will budge. In this episode, Elaine sits down with Alanah, an attorney and civil rights advocate, who shares how she transformed a near-litigation co-parenting nightmare into a working relationship built on mutual respect and collaboration. Alanah breaks down the exact shift that changed everything — and what she did when her co-parent wasn't on board yet. If you've ever felt trapped in a conflict you can't get out of, this one's for you. Listen now and find out what's actually possible.

What to expect in this episode:

• The parenting covenant strategy: How Alanah transformed a stack of legal pleadings into a clear, shared vision, and how to distill what you actually want from a conflict so you can start working toward it.
• What to do when your co-parent isn't on board: Practical guidance on enrolling a resistant co-parent in a new vision without forcing it on them.
• Why alignment beats agreement: The crucial difference between trying to agree on specifics and starting with what you both already share: your child's well-being.
• Real-time coaching and "texting from the ledge": Why practicing new patterns in the middle of a real conflict, not just during a coaching session, is what makes change stick.
• The shift from "have to" to "get to": How Alanah moved from feeling like a prisoner in her co-parenting dynamic to feeling genuinely liberated and what that shift actually required.
  
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

You’ve tried the systems recommended for helping complex kids—reward charts, planners, new morning routines—and they’re just not sticking for your kid. It isn’t that you’re using bad systems, it's that often we’re starting with the solution before we understand the problem. In this episode, Elaine and Diane unpack why systems and structures are the last piece of the parenting puzzle, not the first, and walk you through a practical, personalized approach to building routines that actually hold up for neurodiverse kids. Ready to stop guessing and start problem solving? This one's for you.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why systems and structures come last in the ImpactParents model.
• The real reason reward charts and planners only work some of the time.
• How to problem-solve before you pick a system using real world scenarios and practical examples.
• Why buy-in and ownership are essential for complex kids and how to get them on board without a power struggle.
• The concept of "flexible structure": how to build routines that are solid enough to hold, but have enough give to survive a hard day.
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Are you holding your complex kid to expectations that weren't built for their brain? In this episode, Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster dig into one of the most misunderstood concepts in parenting neurodiverse kids: shifting expectations—not lowering or eliminating them. You'll learn why the gap between expectation and reality is the root of most conflicts, the reasons why your complex kid might be struggling to meet the bar you set, and what it means to meet your kid where they are. If you’re raising a kid with ADHD or executive function challenges, this one’s an essential listen. Tune in, then head to ImpactParents.com to find out how you can keep learning with Sanity School® for Parents.

What to expect in this episode:

• The 30% rule explained: Kids with executive function challenges are often 30% behind peers developmentally, which translates to 3–5 years for younger kids and 8–10 years for young adults. 
• Shifting vs. lowering—they’re not the same thing: Understand the difference between abandoning your expectations and moving them to where your kid can actually reach them, then growing from there.
• Every trigger starts with a gap: The space between what you expect and what your kid delivers is the root cause of most conflicts at home.
• Process over outcome: Holding neurodiverse kids accountable to how they approach tasks (rather than just whether they finish them) is what really builds long-term capability and self-worth.
• The collaborative piece: Setting expectations isn't something you do to your kid, it's something you do with them, and buy-in from your child is what makes the whole thing stick.
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Being nice and being positive aren't the same thing—and if you're parenting a complex kid, that distinction matters. In this episode, Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster dig into the second Sanity School® cornerstone: positivity and communication. They cover why resilience more than intelligence influences success, what the "independence pyramid" is built on, and how the way you talk to your kid (and to yourself) shapes everything from relationships to self-regulation. It's part two of a four-part series. You can catch up on the first episode about activating your child’s brain and follow along so you don't miss the rest.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why being positive isn't the same as being nice, and why that distinction matters for parenting complex kids
• Why resilience, not intelligence, is the biggest predictor of a kid's long-term success, and how to build it
• What the "independence pyramid" is, and why relationship, trust, and communication have to come in that order
• How tone, timing, and what your kid actually hears (versus what you meant) shape every conversation
• Why self-talk is a form of self-care, and how changing your own internal dialogue changes how you show up for your kid

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Your brilliant kid can't get out the door in the morning, falls apart over homework, and goes from fine to completely overwhelmed in seconds. You want to help them out, but it feels like you've tried everything and nothing sticks. In this episode of Parenting with Impact, Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster break down what's actually happening in your child's brain, and why executive function, emotional regulation, and motivation are the three most important things every parent of a neurodiverse kid needs to understand. This is part one of a four-episode series built on the framework ImpactParents has been teaching with their Sanity School® program for 15 years. If you're tired of jumping from strategy to strategy without meaningful progress, this episode gives you a powerful place to start. Hit follow so you don't miss what's coming next.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why "activating the brain" is the foundation for everything else you'll do as a parent of a complex or neurodiverse kid—and what it actually means day-to-day
• The real reason your brilliant child struggles to organize, plan, or follow through (it has nothing to do with how smart they are, it just requires a completely different part of the brain)
• What executive function looks like in daily life, and how Dr. Thomas E. Brown's six-area model helps you pinpoint exactly where your child needs support
• Why your child probably isn't really going from "zero to a hundred"—and what's actually happening in their nervous system before the meltdown
• Why your child isn't unmotivated — they're differently wired, and understanding that changes everything about how you show up for them

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

When rewards, punishments, and consequences aren’t working, it may be time to ask new questions. In this episode, Dr. Ross Greene explains why challenging behavior isn’t usually a sign of defiance or poor motivation, but a signal that a child is struggling with expectations they cannot yet meet. He introduces the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions mode and explains how shifting from behavior management to collaborative problem solving can reduce conflict, strengthen relationships, and help kids build the skills they need to succeed. Discover how changing the way you see challenging behavior can transform the way you support your child.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why challenging behavior is often signals a struggle with skills rather than defiance
• The difference between managing behaviors and addressing the causes behind them
• The role of collaboration in helping kids build problem-solving skills
• How proactive conversations can reduce power struggles and emotional blowups
• What schools and families can do differently to better support complex kids

About Dr. Ross Greene

Ross is the originator of the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings, and the forthcoming The Kids Who Aren't Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools. He served on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now an adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and in the Faculty of Science at The University of Technology Sydney in Australia. He is deeply involved in fundraising efforts at Lives in the Balance, CPS model projects, and Lives in the Balance documentaries and mini-documentaries.

​

Connect with Dr. Ross

• Website: Lives in the Balance
• Instagram: @livesinthebalance
• YouTube: Lives in the Balance (Dr. Ross Greene)
• Book: The Explosive Child by Greene, Ross W. | The Explosive Child by Ross Greene

The Explosive Child [Sixth Edition] by Greene PhD, Ross W. 

The Kids Who Aren't Okay by Ross W. Greene Ph.D. 

Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.

​

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Sponsors

"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD Intervention

Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.

Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com

Getting your child through school should not feel like navigating a maze, but for many parents, it does. When learning differences, executive function challenges, or other school struggles are a factor, it can be hard to know which supports will actually work and how to find ones that will be a good fit. In this episode, educational therapist Jenny Drennan unpacks the differences among tutors, coaches, educational therapists, advocates, and other specialists, and shares what parents need to know before investing their time, energy, and resources. Get ready to cut through the confusion and discover how finding the right support can strengthen not only your child's growth, but your relationship with them.

What to expect in this episode:

• The differences between tutoring, educational therapy, coaching, and school-based supports
• What cognitive assessments reveal about how a child learns and struggles
• Why executive function support requires more than just organizational tools
• The role of authentic buy-in in determining a support’s success
• How the parent-child relationship impacts learning and growth

About Jenny Drennan

Jenny Drennan is a Board-Certified Educational Therapist, Founder of WeThrive Learning, and a featured speaker. Her private practice specializes in supporting students with ADHD and math and language processing challenges. Drawing on best practices and the latest research, WeThrive Learning provides 1-1 tailored support for students and parents globally, taking into account their complex learning profiles. She is certified by ImpactParents as a Sanity School® behavior therapy program trainer. Her passion, work, and insights have earned her recognition as one of the top 10 most influential educators by MSN. Her contributions and presentations have also been featured on numerous podcasts, in organizations, at workshops, and in parent groups.

​

Connect with Jenny

• Website: WeThrive Learning 
• Podcast: WeThrive Learning 
• Facebook Group: Parent Your ADHD Child with Confidence! 

​

Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.

​

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Sponsors

"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD Intervention

Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.

Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com

What happens when years of overwhelm, self-doubt, and burnout finally start to make sense? For many women, ADHD goes undiagnosed for decades, leaving them navigating impossible expectations and blaming themselves for struggles they never understood. In this episode, Liz Lewis explores how a late diagnosis can change how you see your past, your relationships, and yourself, while reminding us that ADHD is only one part of the story. Take this conversation as an opportunity to slow down, question old narratives, and create a version of success that actually fits your life.

What to expect in this episode:

• The reality of growing up with ADHD before we understood how it shows up in girls and women
• Why many women discover ADHD through parenting, burnout, or major life transitions
• The hidden ways unrealistic expectations and gender roles amplify ADHD overwhelm
• What happens when an ADHD diagnosis becomes self-understanding instead of self-definition
• Why hitting pause after diagnosis can stop you from turning self-discovery into self-destruction

About Liz Lewis

Liz Lewis is a writer, coach, researcher, and self-described chronic overthinker who helps ADHD women navigate motherhood, mental health, and midlife burnout with more clarity and self-compassion. Through her work at HealthyADHD LLC, as well as through coaching, speaking, and her Substack, Liz offers practical, relatable support grounded in lived experience and research. She has facilitated peer support groups for ADDA, spoken at national conferences, and written for publications including HuffPost, Attention Magazine, and ADDitude Magazine. Her first book, You Are Not the Problem, is a gentle guide for late-diagnosed ADHD women that blends personal stories, science, and midlife humor. When she’s not overthinking life and writing about it, she enjoys reading, volunteering, and spending time with her husband, son, and their very opinionated dog.

​

Connect with Liz

• Website: Liz Lewis | Healthy ADHD | 
• Substack: Liz Lewis 
• Instagram: @lizlewisliterary 

Celebrate the launch of Liz Lewis’ new book, You Are Not the Problem: Late Diagnosed Women and the Invisible Forces That Shape Us! Grab your copy and use code NotTheProb20 to get 20% OFF. Don’t miss this empowering read for late-diagnosed women navigating identity, ADHD, and the invisible forces shaping their lives.

Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.

​

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Sponsors

"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD Intervention

Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.

Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com

Wanting to support your growing ADHD kid and knowing how to support them are often two very different things. As teens and young adults push for independence, even well-meaning advice can feel controlling, creating more resistance and disconnection. In this episode, Dr. Zach Gershon explains why peer support and community can be life-changing for young adults with ADHD, and how parents can shift from managing their child to becoming a trusted source of support. Press play to discover how connection, autonomy, and small wins can help young adults build confidence and move forward on their own terms.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why peer support groups can feel safer and more relatable than parent advice
• How “asking instead of telling” changes parent-child dynamics
• What ADHD teens and young adults really want from their parents during transition years
• The role of community in reducing shame and isolation for ADHD young adults
• Why support works best when young adults feel ownership and autonomy

About Dr. Zachary Gershon

Dr. Zachary Gershon is a twice-exceptional neuroscientist based in New York City whose work explores the intersection of neurodiversity, cognition, and human behavior. He earned his PhD from The Rockefeller University, where his research focused on neuroscience and brain function. Drawing from both scientific expertise and lived experience as a twice-exceptional individual, Dr. Gershon is passionate about advancing conversations around neurodivergence, learning differences, giftedness, and mental performance through research, speaking, and advocacy.

​

Connect with Dr. Zachary

• Website: ADHD Support Group for Young Adults | ADDA 

Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.

​

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Sponsors

"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD Intervention

Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.

Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com

What if behaviors that look defiant are actually signs of a nervous system under threat? In this episode, Rabbi Shoshana unpacks PDA, also known as Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy, and explains how nervous system sensitivity, autonomy, and co-regulation shape behavior in neurodivergent kids. She explores why traditional approaches often fail, how aspects of modern life intensify dysregulation, and what it means to truly trust a child rather than assume oppositional intent. Get ready to rethink “difficult behavior,” understand what may be happening beneath the surface, and walk away with a more compassionate, nervous-system-informed approach to supporting your family.

What to expect in this episode:

• The connection between nervous system sensitivity, autonomy, and emotional regulation
• PDA behaviors that are commonly mistaken for defiance or manipulation
• Modern school and family expectations that can push sensitive nervous systems into overload
• A breakdown of the “safe circle” metaphor and what it says about threat response
• Meaningful, real-life tasks that naturally lower resistance and increase cooperation

About Rabbi Shoshana

Rabbi Shoshana Meira Friedman is a PDA Autistic woman and creator of The PDA Safe Circle™, a transformative online community for PDAers and their loved ones that centers her strengths-based PDA Safe Circle® Approach. Rabbi Shoshana is known for her in-depth content on PDA that helps PDAers of all ages to thrive within the constraints of their vulnerable nervous system. After a previous career in Jewish congregational leadership and climate activism, she is now a sought-after coach and trainer for PDA adults, parents, and allied clinicians. Her writing has been published in many venues, including The New York Times and Psychotherapy Networker magazine, and she is the author of two children’s books.

​

Connect with Rabbi

• Website: The PDA Safe Circle 
• Instagram: @rabbishoshana 

Get your FREE copy of 12 Key Coaching Tools for Parents at https://impactparents.com/gift.

​

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Sponsors

"Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out" – A New ADHD Intervention

Do you recognize current ADHD interventions fall short? At DIG Coaching, we've developed a groundbreaking field of engineering called Cognitive Ergonomics from the Inside Out. Discover a fresh approach to ADHD care that looks beyond traditional methods.

Learn more at www.cognitive-ergonomics.com