Parenting with Impact

Ever know exactly what you’re supposed to say to your kid, and then it just doesn’t come out? Clinical child psychologist Dr. Robyn Koslowitz, author of Post-Traumatic Parenting, joins Elaine to talk about how trauma shapes the way we react as parents, and how to break the cycle. You’ll learn why yelling, freezing, and checking out don’t make you a bad parent, they’re just reactions your brain learned. And it can learn something new. If you’ve ever wanted to change how you handle tough moments, this one’s for you. Listen, then share it with another parent who needs to hear it.

What to expect in this episode:

• You’ll learn why we as parents react in ways we don’t intend, and how those reactions are coping strategies trauma taught the brain, not personal failures.
• Dr. Robyn Koslowitz explains her “trauma app” framework and how parents can reprogram learned responses like yelling, freezing or dissociating.
• You’ll hear why acknowledging “I can’t because of my trauma” is step one, and how accommodations, new skills or support from another adult can be step two.
• Elaine and Dr. Koslowitz explore the overlap between neurodiversity and psychodiversity, including Elaine’s own experience as a parent with undiagnosed ADHD.
• You’ll come away with the acknowledgement that parenting a neurodivergent child can be traumatic in its own right, and that this doesn’t mean you love your child any less.
  
  
  

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

When your child gets a diagnosis, the next question for most parents comes fast: now what? Author, professor, and adoptive mom Nefertiti Austin joins Elaine Taylor-Klaus to talk about raising her spirited, neurodivergent daughter. They cover the "pinball of parenting," the expectations that didn't work out, and the moment she stopped trying to squeeze her kid into a box she'd never fit and started encouraging the person she was. They also get honest about adoptive parenting and what happens at school when race is added to neurodivergence. If you're wondering what comes after diagnosis—or if diagnosis wasn’t the fix you’d hoped it would be—this one's for you.

What to expect in this episode:

• A diagnosis is a starting point, not an endpoint. The real work begins with the question "now what?"
• Therapies and tools can help, but expecting them to change everything in a few months sets everyone up for failure.
•  at your child's pace, and asking them directly "is this working for you?" builds progress that lasts.
• When adults insist a child fit into a box they'll never fit, both parent and child get hurt. Trusting your instincts and following your child's lead can change everything.
• Kids of colour with brain differences are often labeled negatively before anyone considers an assessment, so parents and educators need to give every child the benefit of the doubt.
  
  
  

About Nefertiti Austin

Nefertiti Austin is an adjunct professor of History and African American Studies, a speaker, and the author of two books exploring race, motherhood, and neurodiversity. Her newest book, She's Just Spirited, offers a lens into parenting a neurodiverse girl — navigating schools, therapists, and the emotional terrain of raising a child whose spirit is worth protecting at every turn.

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Something's going on with your kid. Maybe you have a diagnosis, maybe you don't, but it feels like someone should be able to help you make it all easier. In this episode of Parenting with Impact, Elaine and Diane look back at what they wish they'd known when they started parenting their own neurodivergent kids: how it’s a long game, how you'll end up as the expert in your child, and why it’s so important for relationship to come first. If you're at the start of your ADHD parenting journey (or wish you could start over), hit play—then pass it along to a parent who needs it.

What to expect in this episode:

• You'll learn why an ADHD diagnosis is the start of a long-term journey, and why setting that expectation early reduces overwhelm.
• You'll hear why parents have to become the expert in their own child, and how that helps you educate and advocate with schools and providers.
• You'll see why how you show up (calm or escalating) shapes your child's experience more than any single strategy.
• You'll get a practical approach to deciding whether and how to tell your child about their diagnosis.
• You'll learn why kids thrive when parents believe they're going to be okay, and why the relationship is the foundation of everything else.
  
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

When it comes to parenting a complex kid, the change you've been working towards often shows up over years, not overnight. In this week’s episode, Elaine and Diane sit down with longtime ImpactParents member Andrea Osborne for a success story about parenting her ADHD daughter from the diagnosis she received after middle school through her big leap into college. Andrea gets real about letting go, grieving the kid she thought she'd have, and learning to lead with acknowledgment instead of correction. If you've ever wondered how things can feel like a mess and like you’re making real progress at the same time, this one's for you. Give it a listen.

What to expect in this episode:

• Andrea Osborne shares how her ADHD diagnosis journey with her daughter began after a difficult middle school experience and evolved through high school, the pandemic, and the transition to college.
• Listeners will hear a practical reframe for staying connected to a young adult child: giving them room to lead while remaining close enough to offer support when it's needed.
• The episode offers a clear example of leading with acknowledgment before correction, and why that shift changes the tone of a parent-child relationship.
• Andrea describes the process of grieving the child she expected in order to make room to fully embrace the child she has, a theme she and the hosts return to throughout the conversation.
• The conversation shows how caregiving for a parent with dementia and parenting a child with ADHD can draw on the same coaching tools and the same core skill: letting go of what you can't control.
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Ever notice your team runs smoother than your household, or vice versa? Elaine sits down with her husband and colleague David Taylor Klaus (DTK Coaching) to unpack how parenting and leadership draw on the same skills and why understanding neurodiversity at work isn't just kind — it's good business. They dig into masking, quiet quitting, retention, and why "all boats rise" when workplaces are designed for how brains actually work. If you've ever wondered how the coach-approach you use at home could change your team at work, this one's for you. Listen now, and find out how to bring a neuroinformed approach to your workplace.

What to expect in this episode:

• How neurodiversity shows up the same way at home, at work, at school, and in clinics — and why that matters for parents
• How masking damages people emotionally and physically, and what "quiet leaving" looks like in practice
• Why onboarding is one of the most underused tools for supporting neurodivergent employees and family members alike
• The idea that designing for neurodivergence benefits everyone — "all boats rise"
• How the same communication and trust-building skills that work at home can transform a team, and vice versa
  
  

About David Taylor-Klaus

 is a Master Certified Coach, speaker, and author on a mission to unearth and unleash the personal mastery of entrepreneurs and senior executives. Since 2008, DTK has empowered his tribe to take an active, intentional, and dynamic role in their development and create the kind of life rhythm that enables them to build profitable businesses, raise thriving families, and live wildly fulfilling lives.

His best-selling new book “Mindset Mondays with DTK: 52 Ways to REWIRE Your Thinking and Transform Your Life" is available on Amazon.

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents

Ever leave a doctor or therapist appointment thinking, "They were smart and kind — and still had no idea what to do to help my kid"? Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster explain why that happens: it takes an average of 17 years for research to make it into everyday practice, and many professionals working with neurodivergent kids simply haven't received the training yet. In this episode, they unpack the shift from a "diagnose and treat" model to an "identify and support" approach, and introduce the NeuroInformed Institute — a new training pathway for parents and professionals alike. Tune in for a clear-eyed look at why you're often ahead of the curve, and what you can do with that.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why an average 17-year research-to-practice gap can leave parents feeling unsupported by professionals
• How the diagnostic understanding of ADHD and autism has evolved — and where it still falls short
• The shift from "diagnose and treat" to "identify and support"
• Why coaches and parents are often ahead of clinical training
• What the NeuroInformed Institute offers professionals and parents
  
  
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Reconnecting with a kid who's pulled away doesn't have to happen all at once. Elaine and Diane wrap their three-part series on relationship repair by focusing on small, doable steps — texts that don't ask for a reply, sharing popcorn on the couch, asking permission before offering advice. They talk about why their sense of safety (not your good intentions) is what determines whether your kid lets you back in, and how the phrase "up until now" can free you from the guilt spiral so you can actually get started. If you're rebuilding trust with your neurodivergent kid, this series is your roadmap. Catch up on parts one and two if you haven't yet, and let us know: what's one small reconnection move you're going to try this week?

What to expect in this episode:

• Why small, everyday gestures — not big talks — are the best starting point for reconnecting with a disconnected kid
• The "up until now" reframe and how it helps parents let go of guilt and blame so they can move forward
• Why their feeling of safety, not your good intentions, determines whether your kid lets you back in
• How asking permission before offering advice restores a kid's sense of agency
• The four phases of parenting (director, collaborator, supporter, champion) and why so many parents get stuck in director mode
  
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Does it feel like your kid is pulling away? Always closing their door, avoiding you, or talking to you only when they have to? For neurodiverse families, this shift often comes from normal development colliding with an already taxed parent-child relationship. In this episode, Elaine and Diane dig into where that disconnect happens and what actually works to rebuild trust and connection with your kid. They unpack the shift from "I'm afraid for you" to "I believe in you," and why that one mindset change can transform your dynamic. If you've been feeling shut out, this is your on-ramp back in.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why a teenager pulling away and closing their door is often a normal part of development, not necessarily a red flag
• How the parent's role as "director" can create a second layer of disconnection on top of natural individuation
• A reframe of "trust" as a felt sense of safety and comfort, not just honesty or truth-telling
• A practical mindset shift — "I believe in you" instead of "I'm afraid for you" — and why it changes how our kids experience us
• Why creating space for an uncertain (but very possible) positive future can help you calm enough to make reconnection possible
  
  
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Ever feel like you're spiraling? If it seems like nothing you try is working and you're somehow driving your kid further away, you're not alone—and it's not just about your kid. In this episode, Elaine and Diane dig into the parent experience—the overwhelm, frustration, guilt, and worry that show up when we're raising complex kids, and why noticing our own reactivity (hello, SODA: shut down, offense, defense, avoid) is the first step to showing up differently. If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do, this one's for you. Hit play.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why the parent experience—not the kid's—is often the missing piec
• An introduction to SODA: the four common reactive patterns (Shut down, Offense, Defense, Avoid) and how to spot yours
• The difference between being "aware," "alert," and "alarmed,” and why many parents live in alert without realizing it
• Why uncertainty, even more than the actual problem, is often what makes parents feel unsafe
• A reminder that feeling alone in this struggle is a signal worth paying attention to, not a truth about your situation
  
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

Connect with ImpactParents: 

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Substack

Ever look at your ADHD kid and think, "I know they want to do well — so why can't they just get started?" This week, cognitive engineer and ADHD coach Jeff Copper joins Elaine to break down a completely new way of understanding motivation and executive function. You'll learn why "unmotivated" is almost always the wrong word, why extra time isn't the accommodation you think it is, and why talking things through with your kid might be one of the most powerful tools you have. This one's dense — you may want to listen twice. Tap in for a total shift in how you see effort, motivation, and what your ADHD kid is actually up against.

What to expect in this episode:

• A new way to understand ADHD motivation using Dr. Russell Barkley's two-brain model
• Why calling executive function an "impairment" can actually reduce shame, not increase it
• Why rewards and willpower fall short as long-term motivation strategies
• Why extra time isn't the relief parents assume it is
• Why talking things through with your kid is a real, research-backed accommodation
  
  

About Jeff Copper

Jeff Copper is a cognitive engineer and ADHD coach. He is founder of DIG Coaching Practice, Attention Talk Radio, and Attention Talk Video. He holds professional designations from ICF and PAAC and certifications from ADD Coach Academy and Coaches Training Institute. A member of ADDA, CHADD, ACO, PAAC, and ICF, Jeff developed Cognitive Ergonomics From the Inside Out®, a radical departure from the current ADHD intervention paradigm. In recognition of his contributions, he received the ACO's 2022 Professional Excellence Award. Jeff continues to innovate in attention coaching, helping individuals understand and manage their ADHD challenges.

​

Connect with Jeff

• Facebook (optional):  https://www.facebook.com/adultaddcoach
• X Handle (optional)   https://twitter.com/digcoaching
• Linkedin (optional)   https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-copper  
• Instagram (optional)   https://instagram.com/dig.coaching 

​

Connect with Impact Parents:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/impactparents
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ImpactParents
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/impactparents