When it comes to parenting a complex kid, the change you've been working towards often shows up over years, not overnight. In this week’s episode, Elaine and Diane sit down with longtime ImpactParents member Andrea Osborne for a success story about parenting her ADHD daughter from the diagnosis she received after middle school through her big leap into college. Andrea gets real about letting go, grieving the kid she thought she'd have, and learning to lead with acknowledgment instead of correction. If you've ever wondered how things can feel like a mess and like you’re making real progress at the same time, this one's for you. Give it a listen.

What to expect in this episode:

• Andrea Osborne shares how her ADHD diagnosis journey with her daughter began after a difficult middle school experience and evolved through high school, the pandemic, and the transition to college.
• Listeners will hear a practical reframe for staying connected to a young adult child: giving them room to lead while remaining close enough to offer support when it's needed.
• The episode offers a clear example of leading with acknowledgment before correction, and why that shift changes the tone of a parent-child relationship.
• Andrea describes the process of grieving the child she expected in order to make room to fully embrace the child she has, a theme she and the hosts return to throughout the conversation.
• The conversation shows how caregiving for a parent with dementia and parenting a child with ADHD can draw on the same coaching tools and the same core skill: letting go of what you can't control.
  
  

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Ever notice your team runs smoother than your household, or vice versa? Elaine sits down with her husband and colleague David Taylor Klaus (DTK Coaching) to unpack how parenting and leadership draw on the same skills and why understanding neurodiversity at work isn't just kind — it's good business. They dig into masking, quiet quitting, retention, and why "all boats rise" when workplaces are designed for how brains actually work. If you've ever wondered how the coach-approach you use at home could change your team at work, this one's for you. Listen now, and find out how to bring a neuroinformed approach to your workplace.

What to expect in this episode:

• How neurodiversity shows up the same way at home, at work, at school, and in clinics — and why that matters for parents
• How masking damages people emotionally and physically, and what "quiet leaving" looks like in practice
• Why onboarding is one of the most underused tools for supporting neurodivergent employees and family members alike
• The idea that designing for neurodivergence benefits everyone — "all boats rise"
• How the same communication and trust-building skills that work at home can transform a team, and vice versa
  
  

About David Taylor-Klaus

 is a Master Certified Coach, speaker, and author on a mission to unearth and unleash the personal mastery of entrepreneurs and senior executives. Since 2008, DTK has empowered his tribe to take an active, intentional, and dynamic role in their development and create the kind of life rhythm that enables them to build profitable businesses, raise thriving families, and live wildly fulfilling lives.

His best-selling new book “Mindset Mondays with DTK: 52 Ways to REWIRE Your Thinking and Transform Your Life" is available on Amazon.

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Ever leave a doctor or therapist appointment thinking, "They were smart and kind — and still had no idea what to do to help my kid"? Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster explain why that happens: it takes an average of 17 years for research to make it into everyday practice, and many professionals working with neurodivergent kids simply haven't received the training yet. In this episode, they unpack the shift from a "diagnose and treat" model to an "identify and support" approach, and introduce the NeuroInformed Institute — a new training pathway for parents and professionals alike. Tune in for a clear-eyed look at why you're often ahead of the curve, and what you can do with that.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why an average 17-year research-to-practice gap can leave parents feeling unsupported by professionals
• How the diagnostic understanding of ADHD and autism has evolved — and where it still falls short
• The shift from "diagnose and treat" to "identify and support"
• Why coaches and parents are often ahead of clinical training
• What the NeuroInformed Institute offers professionals and parents
  
  
  
  

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Reconnecting with a kid who's pulled away doesn't have to happen all at once. Elaine and Diane wrap their three-part series on relationship repair by focusing on small, doable steps — texts that don't ask for a reply, sharing popcorn on the couch, asking permission before offering advice. They talk about why their sense of safety (not your good intentions) is what determines whether your kid lets you back in, and how the phrase "up until now" can free you from the guilt spiral so you can actually get started. If you're rebuilding trust with your neurodivergent kid, this series is your roadmap. Catch up on parts one and two if you haven't yet, and let us know: what's one small reconnection move you're going to try this week?

What to expect in this episode:

• Why small, everyday gestures — not big talks — are the best starting point for reconnecting with a disconnected kid
• The "up until now" reframe and how it helps parents let go of guilt and blame so they can move forward
• Why their feeling of safety, not your good intentions, determines whether your kid lets you back in
• How asking permission before offering advice restores a kid's sense of agency
• The four phases of parenting (director, collaborator, supporter, champion) and why so many parents get stuck in director mode
  
  
  

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Does it feel like your kid is pulling away? Always closing their door, avoiding you, or talking to you only when they have to? For neurodiverse families, this shift often comes from normal development colliding with an already taxed parent-child relationship. In this episode, Elaine and Diane dig into where that disconnect happens and what actually works to rebuild trust and connection with your kid. They unpack the shift from "I'm afraid for you" to "I believe in you," and why that one mindset change can transform your dynamic. If you've been feeling shut out, this is your on-ramp back in.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why a teenager pulling away and closing their door is often a normal part of development, not necessarily a red flag
• How the parent's role as "director" can create a second layer of disconnection on top of natural individuation
• A reframe of "trust" as a felt sense of safety and comfort, not just honesty or truth-telling
• A practical mindset shift — "I believe in you" instead of "I'm afraid for you" — and why it changes how our kids experience us
• Why creating space for an uncertain (but very possible) positive future can help you calm enough to make reconnection possible
  
  
  
  

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Ever feel like you're spiraling? If it seems like nothing you try is working and you're somehow driving your kid further away, you're not alone—and it's not just about your kid. In this episode, Elaine and Diane dig into the parent experience—the overwhelm, frustration, guilt, and worry that show up when we're raising complex kids, and why noticing our own reactivity (hello, SODA: shut down, offense, defense, avoid) is the first step to showing up differently. If you've ever wondered why you react the way you do, this one's for you. Hit play.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why the parent experience—not the kid's—is often the missing piec
• An introduction to SODA: the four common reactive patterns (Shut down, Offense, Defense, Avoid) and how to spot yours
• The difference between being "aware," "alert," and "alarmed,” and why many parents live in alert without realizing it
• Why uncertainty, even more than the actual problem, is often what makes parents feel unsafe
• A reminder that feeling alone in this struggle is a signal worth paying attention to, not a truth about your situation
  
  
  

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Ever look at your ADHD kid and think, "I know they want to do well — so why can't they just get started?" This week, cognitive engineer and ADHD coach Jeff Copper joins Elaine to break down a completely new way of understanding motivation and executive function. You'll learn why "unmotivated" is almost always the wrong word, why extra time isn't the accommodation you think it is, and why talking things through with your kid might be one of the most powerful tools you have. This one's dense — you may want to listen twice. Tap in for a total shift in how you see effort, motivation, and what your ADHD kid is actually up against.

What to expect in this episode:

• A new way to understand ADHD motivation using Dr. Russell Barkley's two-brain model
• Why calling executive function an "impairment" can actually reduce shame, not increase it
• Why rewards and willpower fall short as long-term motivation strategies
• Why extra time isn't the relief parents assume it is
• Why talking things through with your kid is a real, research-backed accommodation
  
  

About Jeff Copper

Jeff Copper is a cognitive engineer and ADHD coach. He is founder of DIG Coaching Practice, Attention Talk Radio, and Attention Talk Video. He holds professional designations from ICF and PAAC and certifications from ADD Coach Academy and Coaches Training Institute. A member of ADDA, CHADD, ACO, PAAC, and ICF, Jeff developed Cognitive Ergonomics From the Inside Out®, a radical departure from the current ADHD intervention paradigm. In recognition of his contributions, he received the ACO's 2022 Professional Excellence Award. Jeff continues to innovate in attention coaching, helping individuals understand and manage their ADHD challenges.

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• X Handle (optional)   https://twitter.com/digcoaching
• Linkedin (optional)   https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-copper  
• Instagram (optional)   https://instagram.com/dig.coaching 

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High-conflict divorce can feel like a life sentence — especially when you're fighting over your child's health and well-being, and neither parent will budge. In this episode, Elaine sits down with Alanah, an attorney and civil rights advocate, who shares how she transformed a near-litigation co-parenting nightmare into a working relationship built on mutual respect and collaboration. Alanah breaks down the exact shift that changed everything — and what she did when her co-parent wasn't on board yet. If you've ever felt trapped in a conflict you can't get out of, this one's for you. Listen now and find out what's actually possible.

What to expect in this episode:

• The parenting covenant strategy: How Alanah transformed a stack of legal pleadings into a clear, shared vision, and how to distill what you actually want from a conflict so you can start working toward it.
• What to do when your co-parent isn't on board: Practical guidance on enrolling a resistant co-parent in a new vision without forcing it on them.
• Why alignment beats agreement: The crucial difference between trying to agree on specifics and starting with what you both already share: your child's well-being.
• Real-time coaching and "texting from the ledge": Why practicing new patterns in the middle of a real conflict, not just during a coaching session, is what makes change stick.
• The shift from "have to" to "get to": How Alanah moved from feeling like a prisoner in her co-parenting dynamic to feeling genuinely liberated and what that shift actually required.
  
  
  

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You’ve tried the systems recommended for helping complex kids—reward charts, planners, new morning routines—and they’re just not sticking for your kid. It isn’t that you’re using bad systems, it's that often we’re starting with the solution before we understand the problem. In this episode, Elaine and Diane unpack why systems and structures are the last piece of the parenting puzzle, not the first, and walk you through a practical, personalized approach to building routines that actually hold up for neurodiverse kids. Ready to stop guessing and start problem solving? This one's for you.

What to expect in this episode:

• Why systems and structures come last in the ImpactParents model.
• The real reason reward charts and planners only work some of the time.
• How to problem-solve before you pick a system using real world scenarios and practical examples.
• Why buy-in and ownership are essential for complex kids and how to get them on board without a power struggle.
• The concept of "flexible structure": how to build routines that are solid enough to hold, but have enough give to survive a hard day.
  
  

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Are you holding your complex kid to expectations that weren't built for their brain? In this episode, Elaine Taylor-Klaus and Diane Dempster dig into one of the most misunderstood concepts in parenting neurodiverse kids: shifting expectations—not lowering or eliminating them. You'll learn why the gap between expectation and reality is the root of most conflicts, the reasons why your complex kid might be struggling to meet the bar you set, and what it means to meet your kid where they are. If you’re raising a kid with ADHD or executive function challenges, this one’s an essential listen. Tune in, then head to ImpactParents.com to find out how you can keep learning with Sanity School® for Parents.

What to expect in this episode:

• The 30% rule explained: Kids with executive function challenges are often 30% behind peers developmentally, which translates to 3–5 years for younger kids and 8–10 years for young adults. 
• Shifting vs. lowering—they’re not the same thing: Understand the difference between abandoning your expectations and moving them to where your kid can actually reach them, then growing from there.
• Every trigger starts with a gap: The space between what you expect and what your kid delivers is the root cause of most conflicts at home.
• Process over outcome: Holding neurodiverse kids accountable to how they approach tasks (rather than just whether they finish them) is what really builds long-term capability and self-worth.
• The collaborative piece: Setting expectations isn't something you do to your kid, it's something you do with them, and buy-in from your child is what makes the whole thing stick.
  
  

Download free guide: Top 12 Tips To Help Your Complex Kids

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