We know many of you out there have a dirty little secret. Raise your hand if, like me, you are a people pleaser!  Girl, today we stop and explore the 'why'?  The answer to this question is something we've been contemplating. WHY is it that women (specifically) fall into patterns of people pleasing? Are we so desperate to have people like us that we're willing to sacrifice ourselves in the process? There are so many answers to this question...perhaps, it's societal conditioning that causes women to put everyone else's needs before our own...perhaps, it's just part of who we are as individuals...maybe we LIKE doing things for others. Maybe it's just because we're suckers.

We're kidding of course! But, know you're not alone and today's guest, Suzanne Culberg, will be able to provide some refreshing guidance and reassurance! Suzanne calls herself a "nope coach" and is a coach and author who helps "over-givers" and people pleasers learn to set boundaries and say "no" in a way that feel good. 

Suzanne is a certified practitioner of Neurolinguistic programming (NLP), holds a bachelor of medical science, and has a variety of other certificates that she leverages to help women stop over-giving, over-consuming, and overdoing everything. Her mission is to help women set boundaries for themselves and make boundaries NORMAL...we simply should be saying NO more often.

In today's episode Suzanne teaches us that:

1. Saying "no" doesn't mean the other person will be offended or that there will be conflict. It can sometimes generate the opportunity for more collaboration and honesty.
2. Not setting boundaries or saying no can generate resentment. People can genuinely "sniff out" the little white lie (such as I have a headache and can't go to dinner). But, people respect your honesty.
3. You can begin to reclaim your own sense of self and identity by defining what you DON'T like and then clearly define how you will set boundaries around those things.
4. If you're such a people pleaser you're not being honest with yourself or coach, you're doing yourself a disservice. Instead, use "pennies" to change...these are micro-shifts that (when done consistently) don't feel like big changes....but, a lot of little changes that add up over time.
5. Sometimes a collaborative approach to boundary setting with someone you deeply care about is necessary. By taking this approach, the needs of both parties can be met.

You can find Suzanne at:

Website | suzanneculberg.com

Facebook | suzanneculberg

IG | @suzanne_culberg

Make sure we're connected: FB | Dear Midlife and IG | @DearMidlife

And girl...If you ARE a people pleaser, make Shelby and me happy by sharing this podcast with a friend and leaving us a review. :)