You cannot shame or bully yourself into wholeness. My inner critic was vicious. It bullied me, held me back, pointed out all my flaws 24/7, and told me I was never good enough. No matter how hard I worked, I could never keep up or measure up.

When my third child was born, 18 years ago, I held her little body in my arms and realized in that moment that for her sake and mine, I would never again bully or berate my body or myself. I made the decision and then I had to practice.

Some Key Ideas:

• Compassion needs to be bidirectional.
• Falling down, making mistakes, or being messy is not the problem. Staying down, or staying mired in shame and judgment is a problem.
• Self-Compassion has 3 components: mindfulness, self-kindness, common humanity.
• Fear and the Inner Critic are not against you - they are simply trying to protect you but in maladaptive ways (or ways that no longer serve you).
• Safety is required for us to be in a position to hear, grow, heal, build a new pattern.

Links/References: 

• Kristin Neff: Self-Compassion
• 3/2/1 Exercise: 3 Purposeful Questions I Ask Myself Each Night as Part of a Simple Evening Routine | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop: Sep 6, 2023 Befriend Your Inner Critic Workshop | A Life In Progress
• How To Befriend My Inner Critic and Quiet Its Noise: How to Befriend my Inner Critic and Quiet its Noise | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Tender Self-Compassion: Self-Compassion Will Help You Become Your Own Best Friend | (alifeinprogress.ca)
• Fierce Self-Compassion: How to Practice Fierce Self-Compassion to Get Unstuck | (alifeinprogress.ca)