Rebranding Middle Age

Handcraft a life that feels like home: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-visioning-course/

Are you so focused on what's next, what's missing, or what needs to change that you're missing the life you're actually living? Or missing out on the beauty, wisdom, and the gifts already present in your life?

It's easy to spend our days worrying forward or looking ahead. Thinking about what we want more of, what we wish were different, what we haven't accomplished, or what needs to happen next.

I know because I've been doing a lot of this myself.

This year I have needed to slow everything in my life down. so that I can fill myself back up and so that I can take an honest look at what I want to let go of, and what I want to carry forward into the next season of my life.

And lately, I've been feeling a strong nudge to slow down, pay attention, and actively receive the gifts that are already present in my life. And to recognize all the small but important ways that I look past what is already available to me.

Rather than adding more, I'm being invited to tend to what I already have. My relationships. My home. My community. The life and business (and the vision I have for my work) that I've worked so hard to create.

In this episode, I share some of the ways I'm practicing this shift, including recognizing where I'm worrying forward, where I'm overlooking what's right in front of me, and where I need to conserve my energy so I can be more present for the people and things that matter most.

I also share the difference between focusing on the gap (what's missing or not quite right) and the gain (what's already here, what you've created, and what you have to appreciate).

I've been practicing gratitude for over 15 years day and night. But this concept of the Gap and the Gain, from Dr. Benjamin Hardy is consistently encouraging and empowering for me.

It isn't enough to acknowledge the gains though. We must actively, intentionally choose to receive the gains. Choose to receive the beauty and gifts of each day and each season.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why we can become so focused on what's missing, what's wrong, or what's next that we fail to fully experience the life we're living.
• What it means to stop adding more and start tending to the people, places, and things already in our lives.
• How laying down old hurts and expectations can create space to meet the people we love in the present, rather than through the lens of our past experiences.
• Why it's important to recognize our capacity, stop over-giving, and conserve our energy for the relationships and experiences that matter most.
• How shifting our attention from the gap to the gain can change the way we experience our homes, relationships, work, and everyday lives.
• Why receiving the gifts of our current season requires us to slow down, pay attention, and become more intentional about how we're spending our time and energy.

Sometimes the next step isn't to do more, achieve more, change more, or create something different.

Sometimes it's to stop running long enough to recognize the beauty, wisdom, and goodness that's already here, in front of us. Waiting to be noticed.

What might change if you stopped worrying forward and started fully receiving the gifts available to you right now?

Resources:

Mindfulness Will Make You Happier: Simple Ways To Practice Mindfulness: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/practice-mindfulness/

Winter Mindfulness Journal: take a look

What If You Turn Your Gaze Toward Joy Now?: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/what-if-you-turn-your-gaze-toward-joy-now/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

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*The sound quality of this episode is not the greatest but hopefully doesn't detract much from your listening experience.

Handcraft a life that feels like home: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/life-visioning-course/

Midlife invites us into a great unraveling, deconditioning, and re-envisioning of our lives.

At different points in life, you'll likely find yourself bumping up against the reality of your life. You'll be invited to question your expectations and illusions about how life "should be." And you may need to grieve or grapple a while with the life you thought you'd have so that you can make peace with the life in front of you.

In this episode, two guests join me for a conversation about letting go of the life you wanted and embracing the one you have.

Dr. Mikala Albertson is a board-certified family practice physician, author, and well-being advocate with a passion for women's health. Jennifer Arnspiger is a Certified Somatic Trauma Integration Coach, INFJ empath, and somatic writing coach for deeply sensitive women.

Through their personal experiences, we explore what it means to stop waiting for life to get better, prioritize our own needs, and make peace with the parts of life we cannot change.

In this episode, we explore:

• What it means to stop waiting for life to get better when the circumstances you hoped would change don't.
• Mikala's experience of living with her husband's drug and alcohol use and repeated stays in rehab, and how she reached a turning point in her own life.
• Learning to pour into yourself, prioritize your needs, and recognize that you are worth prioritizing.
• Jennifer's journey as an empath and highly sensitive person, including learning to recognize how often she picks up on other people's emotions before her own and making sense of her relationships and divorce in her early 30s.
• The shame and judgment that can accompany living with chronic health conditions, and how we can begin to relate to ourselves differently when we accept ourselves and our bodies as they are.
• Why we're so often conditioned to look for a fix to every problem, even when some things cannot be fixed—but can be tended to, managed, or made peace with.

Midlife asks us to do some hard and brave work. It asks us to loosen our grip on the lives we thought we'd have, question the rules we've been following, and discover new ways of being with ourselves and our circumstances.

But this isn't about giving up on your dreams or a life that feels soul-honouring. It's about discovering the freedom and joy that are possible when you stop fighting reality and start meeting yourself, and the truth of your life, with compassion.

You are not bad, wrong, or broken. And you don't have to fix yourself or your life before you can begin to find peace, freedom, and joy.

Blog post: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/let-go-of-the-life-you-wanted-and-embrace-the-one-you-have/

Blog post: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/make-space-for-joy-in-your-body-and-life/

Connect with Jennifer: https://www.jenniferarnspiger.com

Connect with Mikala: https://www.mikalaalbertsonmd.com/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Sensitive Content: child loss, suicide loss, grief, trauma

I'm talking with my friend, Kathy Escobar, again in this episode.

This month marks 7 years since the death of our sons, Jairus and Jared. They died by suicide five days apart from each other and are the reason Kathy and I met early in our grieving and healing process. A beautiful gift in a horrific season of life.

This is part two of a two-part series where we talk about looking back and then living forward.

As I shared last time, it feels hard to share such a short, incomplete conversation about such an important, life-changing topic. But this is what we had capacity for.

Losing our kids is a deepest fear come true. It's horrible. It changes you and your life. And while it is not easy to look back and remember, our purpose for sharing is to offer hope to others and tell you that though it feels impossible, you can survive this pain and grief.

In this episode, we talk about living forward after the death of our sons and some of the most important truths and practices that have helped us along the way.

Some of the things we explore:

• Deciding early on that we wouldn't set up camp in our grief and pain. And that grief and pain are part of our story but not the fullness of it.
• Allowing joy even in the depths of grief. How I (Krista) would have panic attacks when I allowed joy into my body but I persisted in this anyway.
• Shame can be a big part of a parent's experience when their child dies by suicide or accidental overdose. And how shame is a false sense of control.
• The practice of paradox or "both/and" has been key for both us in surviving and living forward. For example, we can experience anger or rage about son's dying and also have empathy for what they were feeling and experiencing.
• Not everyone needs to know your story.
• The importance of letting our souls lead the healing process. And making space to remember our kids and finding our unique ways of staying connected to them after they are gone.
• How this type of loss and grief is a process that involves constant metabolizing or integrating of deep pain. There is no end-point. As I like to say, healing is a practice not an end-point.
• Finally, the truth that we need each other. We need other people to help us through this type of trauma, pain, and loss.

Be kind to yourself. And if you're navigating the death of your child or suicide loss of a loved one, please connect to a grief circle of people going through a similar experience. xo

Resources

Grief Support: Tools For Suicide or Child Loss | A Life In Progress®

My Beautiful Son's Life Has Ended | A Life In Progress®

19 Bittersweet Gifts As I Walked My Son Home | A Life In Progress®

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Connect with Kathy:

• Website (find her social handles and books here): kathyescobar.com
• Her podcast Soul + Practice: listen here

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Sensitive Content: child loss, suicide loss, grief, trauma

I'm talking with my friend, Kathy Escobar, today.

This month, and this week for me, marks 7 years since the death of our sons, Jairus and Jared. They died by suicide five days apart from each other and are the reason Kathy and I met early in our grieving and healing process. A beautiful gift in a horrific season of life.

This is part one of a two-part series where we talk about looking back and then living forward.

In this episode we spend some time looking back and sharing bits and pieces of our experience. We choose to talk openly and honestly about grief, suicide loss, and what it takes to live forward because we know that other parents who need this are listening and watching.

It's challenging to share a short conversation about such an important, life-changing topic because there is so much to say. So much nuance and complexity that could be helpful for others. But it's also draining for us so we're offering what we have capacity for and trusting it is enough.

Our aim for sharing is to offer hope to others. And to say you are not alone if you're going through this. It's hard and horrible. It might feel like you'll die because of how intense and overwhelming the pain of losing your child is. But you can survive this.

Some of the things we explore:

• We share a bit about our sons, who they were, and what life was like for them in the years leading up to their deaths.
• The surreal moment of police coming to your door.
• There is life before, and there is life after. We are changed, our families are changed, our experience of life has irrevocably altered.
• What was most helpful in the early years (and what wasn't).
• The necessity of community or safe spaces to tell the truth without advice-giving or pat answers.
• How we all grieve differently so making space for each family member to grieve in their own way is important.
• Trauma therapy was a must-have for both of us.

Join us for part two next week. Take good care of yourself. xo

Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Resources

Grief Support: Tools For Suicide or Child Loss | A Life In Progress®

My Beautiful Son's Life Has Ended | A Life In Progress®

19 Bittersweet Gifts As I Walked My Son Home | A Life In Progress®

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Connect with Kathy:

• Website (find her social handles and books here): kathyescobar.com
• Her podcast Soul + Practice: listen here

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This is Part two of a two-part series on learning to hear and trust your inner voice. The world is noisy, and it can be hard to hear yourself in the middle of it all.

Learning to hear and trust your inner voice isn't something that happens by accident. It requires creating space, learning to recognize how your own wisdom speaks to you, and developing a practice of listening and responding to what you hear.

In Part 1 of this series, we explored why your inner voice matters and the different ways your inner wisdom might show up. In this episode, we're getting practical.

I'll share tools and practices that can help you quiet the noise, connect with yourself, and build a more trusting relationship with your inner wisdom.

We'll explore why making space for yourself is non-negotiable, how to capture the ideas and insights that come to you, and how simple rhythms and practices can help you hear what might otherwise get lost in the busyness of everyday life.

You'll also learn why this work doesn't require perfection, how to distinguish inner wisdom from fear and urgency, and why having a wise, supportive circle can make a difference.

Because midlife is an invitation to get more honest about who you are, what is and isn't working, and the kind of life you want to create. Learning to hear and trust your inner voice is an essential part of this process.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why creating intentional, uninterrupted space for yourself is essential to hearing your inner voice.
• Simple tools and practices to help you capture, explore, and integrate your inner wisdom.
• How to build a consistent listening practice without needing to get it right or do it perfectly.
• Ways to recognize the difference between an inner nudge and fear-driven urgency.
• Why the right people can help you access your own wisdom without telling you what to do.
• What to remember when your inner voice feels quiet or life gets difficult.

You don't need to overhaul your life or add another long list of things to do. Start where you are. Create a little space, pay attention, and practice listening. Over time, these small, intentional choices can help you build a relationship with yourself that becomes an increasingly reliable anchor through all the seasons of life.

Where could you create a little more space to hear yourself and what might you discover if you gave yourself the chance to listen?

Resources *links to some of the resources I shared

The Sacred Medicine Oracle

The Dreaming Way

Seasonal Mindfulness Journals

Lunar Abundance

The Life Visioning Course

How To Hear And Trust Your Inner Wisdom: 5 Practical Steps: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/hear-your-inner-voice/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This is Part one of a two-part series on learning to hear and trust your inner voice. In this episode, we’ll lay the foundation by exploring what inner wisdom can sound, feel, and look like, how to distinguish it from fear and conditioning, and the stages we move through as we develop self-trust.

What if the next step in your growth isn’t finding more answers outside of yourself but learning to listen inward and hear your inner wisdom?

If you want to heal, grow, become, and lead your life from your True Self, you need to learn how to recognize, develop, and trust your inner voice.

But that can be easier said than done.

There are so many voices competing for your attention: fear, old stories, conditioning, your inner critic, other people’s expectations, and the constant noise of the world around you. And when you’ve spent years looking outside yourself for answers, it can take time to learn what your wisdom actually looks, sounds, and feels like.

In this episode, we’re laying the foundation for that work.

We’ll explore what inner wisdom can look, sound, and feel like and how to begin discerning it from fear, urgency, conditioning, and habitual thought.

You’ll also learn about:

• The conscious mind, subconscious mind, and unconscious mind.
• Or you can think about multiple sources of wisdom available to you as mind, heart, body, soul/True Self, and spirit.
• Why inner wisdom may show up as a deep knowing, a physical sensation, an image, a sudden thought, a sense of direction, or even a voice in your mind.
• The qualities that can help you recognize genuine wisdom: it tends to feel loving, grounded, clear, and powerful and it leads toward healthy, wise action.
• Why your conscious mind can quickly jump in with objections after you receive a piece of inner guidance and why capturing that wisdom immediately can help you develop self-trust.
• The difference between living from conscious awareness and recognizing the deeper patterns, beliefs, and intuition operating beneath the surface.
• The four stages of growth, from living on autopilot to having your True Self become your more natural way of being.
• Why awareness and self-compassion need to companion each other if you don't want to quit when you must navigate the uncomfortable parts of change.
• Why growth and healing aren’t linear, and how deeper self-trust can open the door to unexpected shifts in understanding and freedom.
• Why learning to listen inward is essential if you want to create a vision for your life that actually reflects you rather than what you’ve been conditioned to want.

NOTE: In this episode I share the concept of the conscious mind being responsible for a very small percentage of your behaviour. The precise numbers cannot be proven. The point is to consider how much of your life is driven/motivated by beliefs and habits/patterns that you are not even aware of. And, how your agency and freedom expands when you do the work to bring awareness to some of these deeply rooted beliefs and patterns.

The goal is to become more familiar with your own unique way of receiving wisdom, so you can begin trusting yourself, and walking in more freedom and joy.

And the more you listen, the more you learn to distinguish your True Self from the voices that have been shaping your life for you.

Ultimately, this is about creating a different relationship with yourself. One rooted in awareness, compassion, a commitment to messy practice, and the freedom to be who you truly are.

So, what happens when you get quiet enough to listen? What has your inner wisdom been trying to tell you? And what would change if you learned to trust your inner wisdom and act on what you hear?

Resources

How To Hear And Trust Your Inner Wisdom: 5 Practical Steps: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/hear-your-inner-voice/

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member. We begin our new session on October 12th.

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This is Day 4 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

Years of over-functioning, overriding our own needs, or not honouring the truth of who we are and our wiring and capacity, create significant wear and tear on our minds, hearts, and bodies. This often leaves us depleted, discouraged, and running on autopilot.

This level of “wear and tear” is not resolved in a week. If you are experiencing burnout or deep exhaustion, it may not be resolved in a year. But you need to start somewhere. You need to slow down, shore up leaks, clear what you no longer want to carry/tolerate/practice. And you need to create the space/spaciousness in your days, weeks, and year to listen inward and respond with wisdom to what you hear each step of the way.

I hope that you will walk away from this four-day challenge feeling relieved, seen, and inspired. That you’ll leave with a renewed sense of clarity about how to come back into alignment with the life you truly want and the pace you honestly need.

Day 4 invites you to look back, look forward, and live present.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This is Day 3 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

Be as honest with yourself as possible about what is no longer serving you. What you want to let go of. Even if you feel afraid. Even if you don’t yet know HOW something could be possible for you. Name it anyway.

Before we add in, we must clear or create space.

Clear mental, emotional, physical, financial space/capacity for what you truly want. For what brings you joy, keeps you healthy, helps you feel fully alive, excited, on purpose.

For example, you may need to let go of relationships, distractions, habits, or physical clutter that prevent you from living fully or on purpose. Say no to wonderful opportunities because they don’t support the vision you have for who you want to be or become or the life you truly want. Let go of inner judgment – all the “shoulds” and doing things out of obligation or to keep the peace even though your health pays the price. Or release your old people-pleasing, comparing, self-judging patterns.

Day 3 invites you to Name the noise. Take action to quiet or clear the noise. Notice how you feel and continue listening inward for wisdom and direction.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This is Day 2 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

If you don’t believe that you deserve safety, love, kindness, and good things, you will persist in old patterns of over-functioning, being hard on yourself, not resting, or overriding your own wants/needs. Pouring out until you are empty and then judging yourself for being depleted.

If you want to walk in freedom, health, and joy you must be a good friend to yourself. You must give yourself permission to be who you really are and move at the pace you honestly need.

No one else can do this for you. This is your right and responsibility.

Day 2 invites you to practice remembering who you are, giving yourself permission to be your True Self, and receiving what you want and need. All three are required to befriend yourself.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This is Day 1 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

The world is noisy! It can be hard to hear yourself in the middle of it all.

But if you want to live with freedom, health, and joy then you must slow down and create enough spaciousness and quiet so you can recognize and then trust your own inner voice.

Day 1 invites you to practice three interrelated steps: slow down, create space, listen inward for wisdom.

You don’t need perfection. You simply need “enough” spaciousness for this season. You simply need to start somewhere.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

💛 Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress