Things break, people get sick, plans are disrupted, life is messy.

When we make peace with messiness, we make space for joy.

When we hit a bumpy patch or we feel discomfort because life is not going according to our thoughtful plans, and we believe that surely we must have done something wrong, or worse that WE ARE bad, wrong, or broken we are 1) resisting the reality of life and 2) causing our own suffering. Not everything is on your shoulders.

What you CAN do is 1) build examination into your day, week, and year so that you can mine for the wisdom in each life experience and 2) remind yourself often that the messiness or imperfection of life does not disqualify you from a brave, beautiful, meaningful life.

*In the episode I share how a friend and I both hate dipping into our emergency funds even thought that's what they're there for (but I said our "spending plans")

I had to postpone my befriend Yourself Workshops due to illness. So there is still time to register: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

Today I'm sharing a recording I made for a lesson inside my Life Visioning Course. It speaks to the importance of recognizing and taking responsibility for who you are BEING - your current identity.

Often, we want to change the circumstances of life but we don't realize that the only way to do so in a sustainable and soul-honouring way, and in order to truly craft lives in which we feel at home, on purpose, and joyful... we must be or become the person who can and is open/willing to create and receive what we truly want.

When we take ownership for who we are being, we stop feeling disempowered and step into agency. We stop letting our emotions or thoughts (or other people insofar as we have power of choice) control our lives. And instead we build the habit of interrupting unhelpful thoughts and redirecting our thoughts toward what we DO want or what we CHOOSE to grow/water. We stop letting ourselves get away with mean self-talk and we commit to a no-bullying policy and to being on our own side.

At the core of all of this is your relationship with yourself. Do you value yourself, respect yourself, and believe that you are capable and worthy of safety, love, belonging, and goodness? Or do you not?

Your past, your previous struggles, your old ingrained patterns... they don't, determine your future. You have permission to heal, grow, and become.

You have permission to change - to change your story, change your relationship with yourself, change the people you allow to speak into your life, change your relationship to money, creativity, using your gifting, and more.

Learn more about walking in agency in episode 66, Sep 25.

Join me for the free Befriend Yourself Workshop on November 19th: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

If you talk to yourself (out loud or in your head) and wonder if it's weird, this episode is for you.

In this episode, I break down the science of self-talk and share practical ways to use it to reduce stress, improve performance, and strengthen your relationship with yourself. You'll discover why the WAY you talk to yourself matters more than you might think.

By the end of this episode, you'll understand:

• Why talking to yourself out loud is actually healthy and research-backed (not weird!).
• The surprising difference between first-person, second-person, and third-person self-talk—and which creates the most emotional distance from stress.
• How negative self-talk increases cortisol, impairs memory, and makes tasks feel harder.
• Why speaking to yourself like a good friend activates different brain regions and helps you regulate emotions faster.
• Simple ways to use self-talk during complex tasks, before high-pressure moments, and when you're feeling overwhelmed or alone.

Talking to yourself is a free, accessible tool to help your nervous system regulate, help you think more clearly, and practice being on your own side.

Sign up for the (free) Befriend Yourself Workshop: go here

Or set up a time to talk about working together: Contact Krista | A Life In Progress

If you've ever heard someone (me!) talk about "befriending yourself" and thought, "That's nice, but I actually need to change" this episode is for you.

In this episode, I examine 5 common objections I hear from growth-minded women who are skeptical about self-compassion and befriending themselves. The resistance comes because you've been taught that being hard on yourself is the only path to growth.

By the end of this episode, you'll understand:

• Why self-criticism keeps your nervous system in threat mode and how that actually prevents the change you're working so hard for.
• Why the words you use matter more than you think. It's not semantics; it's neuroscience.
• Why years of "working on yourself" may have left you exhausted and what to shift to make real, sustainable progress.
• Why taking care of yourself isn't selfish, it's the only way to show up fully for the people you love.
• Why "being gentle" doesn't mean being complacent and how fierce self-compassion creates lasting change.

This isn't about lowering your standards or letting yourself off the hook. It's about creating the internal foundation that makes growth actually possible and sustainable.

Grab the Autumn Self-Care Guide: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/

This is a super short episode today in honour of my son Jairus who died this day 6 years ago. And in honour of myself and my choice to keep living fully and thriving forward beyond grief and trauma.

The thoughts you think regularly or allow to run unchecked are not neutral. They have the power to harm or help you. It's critical that you notice your thoughts, learn to interrupt unhealthy thought patterns, and intentionally plant and water affirming and life-giving thoughts.

Even 30 seconds or three minutes a day will help intentional thoughts put down deep roots and bear fruit in time.

Take good care of yourself. You matter.

Krista xo

NOTE: Regarding the number of thoughts we have each day, sources differ and offer ranges of 6k to 60K/day.

Midlife women are chronically hard on themselves. But everything in life feels lighter and easier when we’re on our own side. My free assessment and Befriend Yourself Workshop will help: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/assessment/

In this episode, Krista explores high sensitivity and how to recognize and honor your wiring as a highly sensitive person (HSP) in the middle season of life.

Key Topics:

Why HSPs often feel like life requires more effort than it seems to for others.

Common experiences of highly sensitive people that are rarely discussed openly.

The difference between feeling "wrong" and understanding your unique wiring.

How sensory sensitivities, environmental awareness, and emotional boundaries affect daily life.

Key Takeaways:

• If you're highly sensitive, doing life can feel hard and effortful—and that doesn't mean you're "wrong."
• You can learn to honor your wiring and it won't always feel so difficult.
• HSPs need non-negotiable rest, soothing strategies, and permission to "shut off" sometimes.
• Even decades into this work, old judgments can resurface—and that's okay, we're all just practicing.

Additional resources:

Blog post/numinous experiences: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/my-experience-as-an-hsp/

Updated HSP self-assessment: https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

Autumn Self-Care Guide for Midlife Women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/

In this episode, I explore the themes and invitations of autumn, focusing on self-care for women in midlife season of life.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• If you're a highly sensitive person, you may notice that grief and melancholy arise in autumn—even when you haven't experienced an obvious loss. Here's why this happens and what it means
• How you can listen to your difficult emotions as wise messengers rather than problems you need to fix or push away
• Why autumn invites you to strip away, let go, and engage in truth-telling about what no longer serves you
• The reason holding onto old identities and patterns keeps you stuck—and how you can recognize when it's time to release them
• How you can navigate the vulnerable "in-between space" when you've let go of what was but haven't fully stepped into what's next
• If you love rhythm and routine but also have a rebel streak, here's how you can honor both by building intentional breaks into your life
• How you can use this seasonal transition as an opportunity for meaningful self-care and inner exploration

Resources Mentioned:

Free autumn resource with reflection prompts and self-care exercises: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/autumn-guide/

Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies quiz: https://gretchenrubin.com/quiz/the-four-tendencies-quiz/

Podcast episode about grief/Samhain: listen on apple podcasts

Agency is your power of choice - your capacity to intentionally influence your life and circumstances. It means you're the author of your life, exercising control over your choices while recognizing you can't control every circumstance or other people's behavior.

Three Key Aspects of Reclaiming Agency:

1. Build Skills and Expand Capacity - Stay open to ongoing learning, discovery, and education. Surround yourself with people doing brave inner work. Acquire new ideas and practices that help you grow beyond your current bubble. Build nervous system regulation skills and healthy patterns.
2. Live on Purpose - Develop strong self-knowledge and self-trust so you can walk out your values and vision. Use your strengths and gifts meaningfully in the world. Become awake to your impact - what you pour into yourself spills over into the world around you.
3. Practice Hope in Action - Take radical ownership of your life without handing your power of choice to others. Hope isn't just a feeling - it's a way of thinking and being that requires action. You have multiple pathways forward; step into the light you have rather than waiting to see the whole path.

Agency is intimately connected to your nervous system capacity. When you're regulated and resourced, you have greater access to choice and can pause between impulse and response. Reclaiming your agency shifts you from surviving to thriving, from autopilot to living on purpose.

• Learn about my cycle of self-awareness + self-compassion + imperfect action = agency in episode 62.
• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community this Autumn - doors are open! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

Get the resource to help you practice Imperfect Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-practice-imperfect-action/

Practice Hope-In-Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/what-is-hope-and-why-i-practice-hope-in-action/

Building the muscle and practice of imperfect action is essential if you want to craft an intentional, soul-honoring life. This practice helps us show up through fear and feel discomfort but show up fully to life anyway.

Three Key Principles of Imperfect Action:

1. Small Steps Create Big Change - One tiny seed planted and watered consistently can bear beautiful fruit over time. Lower the bar and celebrate small wins. Practice "more than zero" when life gets messy. Plan for life's messiness by creating simple, portable versions of your goals.
2. We Find Our Way in Action, Not Before - Movement and vulnerability are required for transformation. You don't need to see the whole path ahead - just take the next step. Show up afraid, messy, and vulnerable. Don't hold too tightly to precise outcomes; you control your choices, not results.
3. A Kinder Way of Being - Honor your wiring and capacity instead of trying to fit an ill-fitting mold. Learn to stretch (not stress) and work with your natural rhythms. Move at a sustainable pace that supports healthy aging and seasonal living.

A commitment to imperfect action teaches you to be proud of continuing to show up in ways that are truly life-giving, creating space for presence, delight, and joy amid the messiness of life.

• Learn about my cycle of self-awareness + self-compassion + imperfect action = agency in episode 62.
• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65
• Learn more about reclaiming your agency in episode 66

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community this Autumn - doors are open! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

If you join by September 19th (for a year) you will also get the Life Visioning Course for free! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/guided-life-visioning-process/

Get the resource to help you practice Imperfect Action: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/how-to-practice-imperfect-action/

Self-awareness without self-compassion can lead to shame and despair. Self-compassion is one of the most impactful practices you can develop - it will permeate every corner of your life and create lasting positive change.

The Three Components of Self-Compassion:

1. Mindfulness - Not everything needs to be fixed; most things just need to be witnessed. You can hold multiple emotions at once (grief AND joy). Learn to acknowledge difficult feelings without letting them hijack your entire day.
2. Self-Kindness - Shame, judgment, and bullying yourself will never lead to positive change. Only when compassion and curiosity are present can people truly change. Treat yourself like someone you love.
3. Common Humanity - You are not bad, wrong, or broken - you're simply human in a messy world. Everyone has struggles and growth opportunities. When you love yourself in your messiness, it becomes easier to witness others' full humanity.

Self-compassion creates the safety needed for growth and change. It's about creating internal conditions where transformation becomes possible, not lowering standards or avoiding accountability.

• Learn about my cycle of self-awareness + self-compassion + imperfect action = agency in episode 62.
• Learn more about self-awareness in episode 63.
• Learn more about self-compassion in episode 64.
• Learn more about imperfect action in episode 65
• Learn more about reclaiming your agency in episode 66

Join the Brave + Beautiful Community this Autumn - doors are open! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

If you join by September 19th (for a year) you will also get the Life Visioning Course for free! https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/guided-life-visioning-process/