Pure Victory Podcast

Welcome to episode #215! This week, Braden continues the series on the patterns we need to beat porn. He continues the discussion on the pattern of community, and why it is so important in beating porn!

Resources mentioned in the episode:
See Episode 83 on how to properly disclose to your spouse about your porn use
See below to learn more about joining a group (Pure Freedom Journey)

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Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

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Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Welcome to episode #214! This week, Braden continues the series on the patterns we need to beat porn. The third pattern in this series is community!

Resources mentioned in the episode:
See Episodes 5 and 32 to learn more about accountability!
See below to learn more about joining a group (Pure Freedom Journey)

Ask a question

Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].

Share this with your friends

Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe

Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! 

Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Welcome to episode #213! This week, Braden continues the series on the patterns we need to beat porn. The second pattern in this series is discipline!

Ask a question

Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].

Share this with your friends

Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe

Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.

Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Welcome to episode #212! This week, Braden starts a new series on the patterns we need to beat porn. The first pattern in this series is prayer!

Ask a question

Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].

Share this with your friends

Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe

Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.

Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Welcome to episode #162! This week, Matt and Braden talk about why we need to to have a better strategy than just "bouncing our eyes" when it comes to battling lust.

Bouncing your eyes is only a temporary strategy
When we are building new and good habits and breaking the bad patterns with addiction, bouncing our eyes away from images or people we are struggling with lustful thoughts about, can be a temporary way to deal with our triggers. However it cant be a long term-strategy as it is only a surface level behaviour. We need to do the work of going deeper and allow God to heal our hearts. The goal is to see people the way Jesus does and to show love to others. We need to see people the way Jesus does and when we do, we aren't enslaved to lust, but captivated in God's love for others.

We cant blame lust on others
Lust is when we devour another persons beauty or when we are fixated on people being objects to be used for selfish purposes. It is okay to find people attractive, as God has wired us to recognize beauty. But it becomes a problem when we make the choice to fantasize about people, or to see people as a piece of meat and nothing more. One of the things we need to learn to do, is to not blame others for our "lust problem", as we have a choice in every circumstance. Otherwise we are enslaved to others and whether they are dressed inappropriately or not. That isn't to say we aren't careful and cautious about being in situations we know we can be compromised in, but that we cant bank on every circumstance going our way. We will encounter people that are attractive, people that dress inappropriately, and images that are tempting. But we have a choice in those moments, and as God works in our hearts, we can be content in His love for us and not longing for the sin that we once knew. 

Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.

Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Welcome to episode #189! This week, Matt and Braden talk about issues that can lead to sexless marriages and what we can do to bring about a healthy sex life. 

Sex in marriage is biblical. 

There can be many causes for sexless marriages. Things like trauma - both physical and psychological; addiction - thinking you can get what you need from your porn habits; and even a family belief system that you don’t need to have sex in your marriage. Scripture tells us to come together often and to only come apart (both parties involved in the decision) for a time to pursue prayer and fasting. 

The issues that are preventing sex in your marriage need to be addressed and dealt with. 

There are individual issues (trauma, addiction and beliefs) that keep us from having sex, but there are also marriage issues that come into play. Drift is the natural tendency in marriage - like a current that has the ability to carry us each in different directions without us even realizing it. We have to be proactive in preventing drift by investing in our marriage. 

A lot can be resolved through a conversation. 

Think inwardly for yourself - your own ideas. Don’t make up answers for your spouse. Assume they want a really good connection in marriage. We don’t always know how to get there. Have the conversations and look at the issues and see how you can work through them. It is never too late to start talking.

Ask a question

Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].

Share this with your friends

Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe

Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.

Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Welcome to episode #190! This week, Matt and Braden talk about some tips to help navigate through the issues that can contribute to a sexless marriage.

We need to create bitesize steps and goals for ourselves. 

To get to the ultimate end goal, we need to take smaller steps and take little movements. When we just look at the end goal and all it entails, it can be overwhelming and we can end up not doing anything and not moving forward at all. It takes steps to get to that end goal. 

Seek to understand before you seek to be understood. 

Look for the currents that are causing the drift in your marriage and seek to correct them. Be intentional with connection. It's important to not just know their love language, but to understand how they feel love within that language. We need to be good at granting forgiveness and seeking forgiveness. 

It is important to talk about individual issues as a couple. 

It can be easy to end up shrouded in shame and guilt. When we keep things from our spouse, there is a lack of communication and gaps in understanding and it creates assumptions in our spouse. The gaps get filled in with those assumptions and it creates more divide. Create a space where you can share to get on the same page to figure out what kind of supports you need or steps to take toward healing. 

Ask a question

Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].

Share this with your friends

Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe

Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.

Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
5 Love Languages
Languages of Apology Quiz 

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Ask a question

Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].

Share this with your friends

Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe

Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.

Resources

Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts

BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 15 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

Welcome to episode #6! In this episode, Mary Derkson gives us an inside look on what it's like to be a woman hooked on porn when culture still thinks it's an issue just for men.

Here is a brief summary of the episode.

33% of porn searches on Google are made by women

Women can get hooked on pornography in the same way that men can. Porn entices us and feeds us lies so that we keep looking it up, forming an addiction and an increased level over time. 

It's hard to quit if you're not desperate
Mary had her rock bottom moment that changed everything. She had made attempts at quitting porn before, but her heart wasn't fully there. It was the morning after her rock bottom moment that she confessed her struggle with 10 friends. They showed her love, but pushed her to deal with her addiction as well.

Relationships

It's a lot easier on a new relationship to be able to truthfully talk about porn being a past struggle, rather than a current one. It gives you confidence that you can be open, it gives your partner confidence in who they're dating, and you feel better in your soul all-around, which leads to happier relationships with those in your life.

You are not the only person dealing with this
Know that you are not alone, whether you are a man or a woman. Many other women have secret porn addictions as well. Be careful on deciding who you are going to tell because they need to be mature enough to handle the news and love you back, but also hold you to a high standard. It is so important to get this out into the open.

Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden talk about whether or not it's important to get free from sexual immorality in order to be used powerfully for God. Subscribe to get notified when the episode is released!

Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.

WHAT IS PURE VICTORY PODCAST?

Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.

SHOW NOTES

Welcome to episode #5! In this episode, Matt and Braden discuss the misconceptions that we can have regarding accountability and give 4 pro-tips for you to have powerful and effective accountability.

Here is a brief summary of the episode.

Accountability is key if we want freedom!
We need accountability to move towards healing and away from addiction. The shame and lies that porn use breeds work against us by keeping us from deep relationships with others. Powerful accountability is how we move away from isolation so that we surround ourselves with a community that helps us break the chains of addiction.

Accountability needs to be properly implemented!

One of the reasons why accountability tends to not work is that we don't understand how to properly implement it in our lives. This leads to frustration and thoughts like, "I tried it and it didn't work." This leads to becoming jaded towards accountability. 

Tip # 1: Find a Model, not a Mirror
One of the reasons we become frustrated with accountability is that we look for the wrong people to help us. This usually occurs when we find an accountability partner who is also struggling with porn. This is a problem because the fellow 'struggler' doesn't have firsthand knowledge about how to break free, so they can't help us in making a game-plan towards getting porn out of our lives. We need to find someone who is free from addiction because they know what it takes to get there, having already gone on their own journey to healing and freedom. We need to find a model - someone who is free that we want to become like! 

Tip # 2: Empty the Suitcase

Telling the truth and sharing our 'full life disclosure' is an important part of healing. If we keep secrets and don't share the full story, we are holding back and won't experience true healing and freedom. We have to release the grip that the lies and addiction have on us by being open and specific. Powerful accountability partners will help us see our blind spots and help us unpack our lives in a way that we can learn from. Having this greater understanding about why we have porn in our lives will help us know the steps we need to take because we'll better understand the problem we are dealing with.

Tip #3: Use Someone Else's Muscles!
When we have porn in our lives, the very real temptation is to try and deal with it on our own. We want to beat the addiction ourselves instead of exposing it and bringing other people in to our lives to help us. But the truth is, we don't have the strength to overcome it on our own. Addiction isn't something that we can beat on our own because that is not the way that God designed healing. Healing is a relationship-based process. Inviting others into the journey and leaning on God to get porn out of our lives are absolute necessities. We can't do it alone!

Tip #4: Partner with Software
Software is intended to be a tool used with powerful accountability. It is important as it gets us in the game. It gets you started on your journey to freedom and makes access to porn more difficult. It creates a physical and mental obstacle that slows down our thoughts at a time when our emotions are taking over. Establish in your thinking to view accountability software as a partner in your journey, rather than an obstacle that you're going to get around. It represents a choice that you are making to get help, to get healing, and to get porn out of your life. Determine in your mind that when you see the app on your device, it triggers a thought in your mind that says 'I am getting free, this reminded me that I need to go do...(something else)." It is also great for helping your accountability partner know what you are looking at and helps them understand your patterns.

Accountability software we recommend: https://www.covenanteyes.com
* Use this promo code for 1 FREE month of Covenant Eyes: RM30

Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.

Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden will invite their first guest onto the show! Mary Derkson shares the unique experiences she encountered as a woman finally confessing a secret porn addiction.

Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+

Pure Freedom Journey for men and women

Book a FREE call (men)

Course for marriages

FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage

Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)

Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free

Covenant Eyes Free E-book, 'Hobbies and Habits'

Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER

Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com

MATT CLINE

Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.