Raising Daughters

There are tons of life’s clues scattered along your journey that reveal the way towards achieving happiness. And sometimes, they are found not in the adult’s way of life but in the simple stories of children. Tim Jordan, MD chats with Angela Santomero, co-creator of the show Blue’s Clues, who shares how adults can learn from observing and gathering clues from the lives of children. She explains how writing for kids for many years taught her about the importance of taking short pauses and how to avoid becoming shadow artists. Angela also explains the right approach to self-care as an adult and what can be learned from children in this regard.

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Being young should be the time for freedom, fun, and self-exploration. Unfortunately, in today’s competitive environment, kids as young as grade schoolers already worry about their futures. Tim Jordan, MD has seen this during a father-daughter retreat, where young girls show how they already feel the pressures of having a life mapped out. As parents, what should you do? How can you guide your daughters to a fulfilling life? In this episode, Tim gives some advice on how you can support your daughters as they navigate this crucial time in their lives. With stories and insights from remarkable people as well as resources you can use, Tim equips you with the tools to help your daughters as they figure out who they are. Tune in and get the guidance you need to mold our future generation of strong women charging towards their calling!
For more in-depth information about helping your daughters find their calling and trust themselves to zigzag their way to it, read these four books:

• Letters from My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom for a Life Worth Living, by Tim Jordan M.D.
• Range, by David Epstein
• Dark Horse: Achieving Success Through the Pursuit of Fulfillment, by Todd Rose
• Finding Your Element, by Sir Ken Robinson

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If you’ve ever been bullied in your childhood, you’d know just what a quagmire the hallways of middle school are for kids. No matter how much you want to protect your daughter, there is simply no way to prevent bullying incidents from happening. How do you bully-proof your daughter? The answer has surprisingly little to do with the bullies themselves. In this episode, Tim Jordan, MD, teaches us a few tricks to help our daughters cope with bullying by not letting words hurt them, being in charge of their own feelings, and not letting anyone take away their power. Dr. Jordan shares a few ways to instill this to your daughter in a language that they can understand. There is so much to learn from this episode. Tune in!

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Show Notes: Digital wellness expert Dawn Wible discusses programs for keeping kids safe on their devices and social media. Dawn shares who is most vulnerable to the harmful effects of devices and social media, including information about the immature adolescent brain. Dawn talks about the areas in our lives that are deeply affected by our screens and what we can do to move toward healthy and safer habits - digital flourishing vs. addiction.   Dr. Jordan and Dawn go into monitors and filters she recommends, online safety talks with kids/teens, and strategies to "delay" smartphone and social media until later. They also talk about when kids are ready to start using a phone and what kinds of devices to start them with.   Dawn discusses the resource Bark to help parents with monitoring, managing screen time, blocking websites, and track location. She also shares her thoughts on how to do check-ins and hold kids responsible to agreements about usage.   How to contact Dawn Wible and access her resources: https://www.talkmoretechless.com   Bark phones and monitoring Contact Dr. Jordan at https://drtimjordan.com  

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Show Notes: Mariana Alessandri, author of Night Vision, discusses the need to normalize all of our emotions and to educate girls to listen to what they have to teach us. How the culture has conditioned … Embracing and Learning From Our “Dark Feelings” of Anger, Anxiety, and Grief Read More »

Show Notes: Mariana Alessandri, author of Night Vision, discusses the need to normalize all of our emotions and to educate girls to listen to what they have to teach us. Learn all the ways our culture has conditioned us to be ashamed of our feelings, that it means that we are broken and lazy and weak, and that they need to be diagnosed and medicated. The author discusses the need to listen to those in pain and not jump to advice or cheering them up; instead to allow them to feel as long as they need to and in their own way and in their own timeline. Sharing our feelings with others can trigger empathy, compassion, and connection with others. We realize we’re not alone or crazy and that others can understand and relate. Mariana Alessandri discusses the need for girls and women to feel and express anger, and to understand what anger is telling us about us, our situation, and what action needs to be taken. Girls can learn a lot by feeling, embracing, and listening to their anxiety. We discuss why kid’s anxiety should be expected due to all of the problems in the world. Girl who follow their own lead and gut and create their own path in life tend to experience anxiety and uncertainty; the price of freedom is uncertainty and anxiety! Dark moods give us access to connection, compassion, love, creativity, justice, motivation, and self-knowledge; we will carry grief forever and that’s normal and okay. Misery loves company, so use it to find one another who can relate. How to contact author Mariana Alessandri: https://www.marianaalessandri.com https://www.instagram.com/mariana.alessandri/  https://www.marianaalessandri.com/newsletter Her book: Night Vision: Seeing Ourselves Through Dark Moods Contact Dr. Jordan at www.drtimjordan.com  

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Show Notes: Gynecologist Dr. Maggie Abraham discusses how to educate girls about the physical changes from puberty and about menstruation management. Dr. Maggie Abraham is a board-certified OB-GYN with subspecialty training in pediatric and adolescent gynecology. She shares her expertise about educating girls about their bodies. Learn about when to start conversations about the upcoming changes that puberty will bring, including weight gain and body changes. Learn about how to educate your daughter about menstruation, including its purpose and also about abnormal periods (excessive pain or bleeding) and possible hormonal therapy. Dr. Abraham also discusses the kind of counseling girls need in regard to sex education For more great information about Dr. Abraham and her programs for girls, go to https://thegynspace.com

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Show Notes: Girls often respond to toxic friends with tend & befriend behaviors instead of moving on for fear of being alone. Dr. Jordan describes how important friends are for girls and their fear of losing them if they confront them about being mistreated, even to the point of putting up with abuse, Girls haven’t learned the skills for handling conflicts directly and so their emotions get pushed below the surface  pushed & fester. These feelings then leak out as drama and relationship aggressions. Listen in to learn how the wiring of the female brain predisposes females to want to connect, avoid conflict, and maintain social harmony. Since prehistoric times, close bonds and being a part of a group meant you had a much better chance of survival; being left out meant death! Dr. Jordan discusses how female’s primary response to stress and fearful situations is not fight or flight, it’s tend and befriend. Girls thus prefer to fix their relationships as opposed to ending them. “Good Girl “conditioning makes it harder for girls to confront others, speak their truth with authority, and know their needs are important too. Some girls hang onto toxic friends because they feel responsible for their friend’s mental health and fear their friend will go down the tubes if they move on from the friendship. Many girls are desperate to be included in the more popular group and thus willing to be abused by them. It feels good to be noticed, popular, and have a sense of belonging even if your aren’t treated well. Don’t push daughter to dump toxic friends.  Listen to her story & feelings, ask what she wants to do, role play setting boundaries, let her know you understand her fear of losing group. She will be more open to hearing your feedback and suggestions if she first feels heard and understood. For more info on Dr. Jordan’s personal growth/leadership development weekend retreats and summer camps as well as his school program, Strong Girls, Strong World, go to his website at drtimjordan.com Check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need for a deeper dive into understanding your daughter’s friendship issues and how to support her.  

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Show Notes: Health coach Marnie Dachis Marmet discusses the many ways girls & parents can practice regular self-care, including sleep, nutrition, yoga, and mindfulness. Marnie shares the reasons why teens and adults don’t take the time to practice regular self-care. Learn the many health and mental health benefits of yoga Learn about some invaluable self-care habits girls can incorporate into their lives, including: sleep, nutrition, exercise, coping skills to manage stress, screen time balance, maintaining healthy relationships, and mindfulness tools Dr. Jordan and Marnie discuss how to encourage teens to develop the discipline to practice these habits on a regular basis. Contact Marnie Dachis Marmet: https://zenfullifecoaching.com Check out Marnie’s new book,  “My Song Unleashed.”  Read this article on the 9 benefits of yoga, John Hopkins medicine Check out resources for teens and parents at Dr. Jordan’s website, https://drtimjordan.com

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Show Notes: The most beneficial diet for adolescent girls includes social-emotional and mental health items, not calories. Perhaps there is a different, healthier kind of diet plan that would better suit the developmental and social-emotional needs of girls in grade school on up. Here are some items girls may want to consider giving up = mental health diet Fitting in Move on from toxic friends Non-verbal relationship aggressions Caring what other people think Talking about others behind their backs & spreading rumors Good Girl conditioning Comparing themselves to peers and online people Restricting social media Old, negative beliefs about themselves Catching themselves when ruminating & switching their thoughts Making decisions based on pleasing or not disappointing others Let go of all the excuses for why they don’t practice regular self-care Instead of focusing on dieting to look hot in their bathing suit this school year, girls would do better to let go of the unhealthy patterns in the 12 points above. They would feel more content, confident, relaxed, fulfilled, powerful, and happy. Link to Dr. Jordan’s podcast on keeping the end in mind & putting first things first Link to Dr. Jordan’s podcast on The spiral of beliefs & reframing negative beliefs about yourself  

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