Raising Daughters

The stories of fictional characters like Moana, Harry Potter, and the Wizard of Oz’s Dorothy can help your daughter reframe her adolescent challenges as a normal part of her heroine’s journey and to relax and … Moana and Dorothy: Reframing adolescence as the heroine’s journey Read More »

The stories of fictional characters like Moana and the Wizard of Oz’s Dorothy can help your daughter reframe her adolescent challenges as a normal part of her heroine’s journey and to relax and enjoy the process. Every adolescent girl must embark on this journey to discover new depths of courage, strength, hope, and resolve within herself that she can draw upon to overcome the challenges of growing up. SHOW NOTES: ·        Won’t grow in protected environments; growth as response to demands/challenges of experience·        Favorite books: Spinning Straw Into Gold, Original fairy tales, The Sound of a Silver Horn, She, The Witch Must Die, Joseph Campbell’s The Power of Myth and The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Women Who Run with the Wolves·        Call to adventure is a summons to leave old beliefs; Dorothy called to a larger life beyond her outmoded situation in Kansas; Rapunzel, Little mermaid, and Cinderella yearn to break loose from home even at the risk of losing their life.·        Our heroines usually meet a mentor who guides and encourages them on their quest. Mentors like Moana’s grandmother, Professor Dumbledore for Harry Potter, the good witch Glinda for Dorothy, and Gandalf for Frodo and Bilbo all saw more in our heroines before they could see it in themselves.·        Fictional young heroines must confront their deepest fears and face a series of dangerous encounters that tests their strength and resolve; must gain the strength and resources to survive and be ready to face the adult world·        Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, girls must pull back the curtain of her limiting beliefs and conditioning and look inward to find her power and innermost resources.·        Your daughter must learn to get quiet and go inward to find her own truth and strength. She must learn to stop giving away her power just as Dorothy learned to hold onto her ruby slippers. And like Dorothy, girls must become aware that they have the power to realize their own heart’s desire.·        Fairy tales and fictional stories are a great vehicle to understand the trials and tribulations of both the story’s characters as well as your own. Girl’s feelings of discontent, restlessness, emptiness, uncertainty, anxiety, and despair can be normalized in the context of the heroine’s journey.·        Touch points: feel out of sorts, depression, anxiety, uncertainty, self-doubt = sign of growth, transformation, change·        What has called you? Any urges? What ignites your passion? What pulls you in a positive direction? Who helps you stay on course? What brings you joy, fills your heart, inspires you?·        Learn to have quiet, alone time to reflect, soul search, check in with her feelings and intuition; trust urges, understand touch points and heroine’s journey·        Descent into the maelstrom metaphor: What will you hold onto to get you thru tough times? Friends, mentors, and parents·        Reframe road of trials (college process) to road of adventures and excitement full of opportunities to grow, learn who they really are and what they’re capable of vs. focus on fears·        Help her find passions and friends she can hold onto to get her through the tough times. Like these heroines, your daughter can learn to master her emotions, face her fears, overcome challenges, and ultimately find and embrace the parts of herself that yearn to be expressed. Dr. Jordan’s contact info: www.drtimjordan.com If this podcast resonated with you and how you can support your daughter’s heroine’s journey, click on this link and get his book, Sleeping Beauties, Awakened Women: Guiding the Transformation of Adolescent Girls.

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3 women discuss the challenges, growth, parties, and their changing relationship with their parents during their 1st semester at college Show notes: Questions answered by 3 college frosh women: ·Overall, what stands out after 1st semester? … The good, the bad, and the ugly of girl’s 1st semester at college Read More »

Dr. Jordan’s fascinating  interview with 3 high school girls about what it’s like to be an old soul: Questions the girls answered: What does it mean to be an “old soul”? When did you 1st … The most amazing girls I know: An interview with 3 “old souls” Read More »

Explore the societal pressures on children to excel, early specialization, and the race to define success. Join Dr. Tim Jordan as he shares insights on a healthier path, emphasizing early sampling, self-discovery, and the importance of diverse experiences. Through the Dot Theory and the wisdom from his recommended books, Dr. Jordan challenges conventional definitions of success, urging us to prioritize fulfillment, passion, and a sense of purpose. Join us in this journey of redefining success and empowering the younger generation.
Show notes:Societal push to give kids a leg up, an edge, childhood is a race to be best/top, keeping up with the Jones’ kids, early specialization, pushed to decide what you should be before first figuring out who you are.
A better path: Early sampling, diverse experience, breadth, interdisciplinary thinking, delayed concentration, ability to integrate broadly, go through sampling period best prepares kids.
Learning things is less important than learning about yourself, growing self-knowledge, considering how much we grow and evolve, and discovering new things about ourselves; will have many jobs in the future not just because jobs and technology change but because YOU change!
Do experiments: Focus on Here’s who I am now, here are my motivations, here’s what I’ve found I like to do, here’s what I’d like to learn, here are the opportunities, which of these is the best match right now? After a while, I may switch if I find something better or a better match, short term planning.
My Dot Theory: do whatever seems like it would teach you something and allow you to be of service, diverse experiences accumulate, do what’s needed and drawn to at the time, the only plan is to do what is interesting or needed now.
Unhealthy definition of success: attaining wealth and status by climbing the institutional ladder = know your destination, work hard, nose to the grindstone, stay the course, just do same things as others but better; happiness is reward for staying the course, retire and then have fun.
Dark horses value fulfillment, passion, sense of purpose, deeply engaged in what they did; pursuit of fulfillment led them to success & was crucial for their success.
Ask why they like activities, grades, score goals, draw.
Dark horses were not fulfilled by being excellent at something but by being deeply engaged with their own thing.
Importance of what we focus on and value:
Books: Range by David Epstein; The Talent Code by Daniel Coyle, Dark Horse by Todd Rose, The Element by Ken Robinson
Contact Dr. Jordan:
If you or your young adult resonated with the ideas in this podcast, go to Dr. Tim’s website right now and get his book written for young adults, Letters From My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom For a Life Worth Living The wisdom in this book will help your teens and young adults to find their purpose, stay on track to create the life they desire, and define success on their own terms.
www.drtimjordan.com

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Resilience is one of the most important traits that helps a person succeed throughout their life and career. How do we set our children up early so they can thrive from adversity?
Dr. Jordan interviewed Meg Jay, Ph.D., author of Supernormal: The Untold Story of Adversity and Resilience.
Nearly 75% of people experience adversity by the age of 20 (loss of a parent to death or divorce; bullying; alcoholism or drug abuse in the home; mental illness in a parent or a sibling; neglect; emotional, physical, or sexual abuse; having a parent in jail; or growing up alongside domestic violence).
How fear and chronic, cumulative stress affects the brain.
Why keeping secrets about your adversities is so harmful to kids; what predicts distress after adversity is not the severity of the event but how alone one feels afterward; discussed the value of girls sharing their stories at Camp Weloki and knowing they aren’t alone or crazy.
The benefits of being supernormal (having gotten through adversity).
What qualities/experiences best help kids adjust & become resilient?
Why girls are hardier than boys when subjected to stress & adversity?
The importance of focusing on how you survived vs just about your hardships or how you are broken.
Contact Meg Jay: Supernormal: The untold story of adversity and resilience
Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com
For more info on the pressures & stressors girls experience & how to support them, read Dr. Jordan’s book, Sleeping Beauties, Awakened Women: Guiding the Transformation of Adolescent Girl

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Reflecting on your mortality (Memento Mori) can be an important motivator for living your life at 110% with purpose. Show Notes: Reflecting on your mortality can be an important motivator for living your life at … Reflecting on your mortality can give life urgency, perspective, and purpose Read More »

Reflecting on your mortality can be an important motivator for living your life. Today, Dr. Tim Jordan talks about death and mortality. He emphasizes the value of reflecting on your mortality in giving life urgency, perspective, and purpose. He discusses the ancient practice of reflection on mortality. Join Dr. Tim in this reflective episode about life and death.
SHOW NOTES:Reflecting on your mortality can be an important motivator for living your life at 110%; triggered by an article from Dailystoic.com about a concept called Memento Mori—the ancient practice of reflection on mortality that goes back to Socrates.
Write your own eulogy. How do you want people to remember you after you’ve passed? What’s important? What do you value most? Good husband, father, role model, be of service.
Write out your mission statement.
Use these tools to begin with the end in mind to guide your decisions.
I encourage parents to begin with the end in mind with activities; do with kids so you all decide what’s important and what you value & use that to guide decisions about activities, schools, etc.
Practice daily Memento Mori—the ancient practice of reflection on mortality.
Use this to create a perspective, a sense of urgency, to not put off important things and relationships.
Write out your eulogy to give your life more meaning & purpose help you to prioritize your actions.
Be conscious about how you spend your time. It’s easy to waste hours on social media; adults spend about 10,000 hours a year on social media.
Read books, have more time in nature, have deep conversations, learn an instrument, journal, write a book, art, send thank-you notes, gratitude, personal growth, and nonfiction books.
Take more risks.
Develop a habit of practicing Memento Mori each day.

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Having the autonomy to choose college and focusing on how they use their university experience will allow women to get the most from their experience. We should debunk the myth that you must go to an elite college to be successful despite pressures from the education system, teachers, colleges, and the culture. We also need to reframe the belief that there is one path to success, i.e., straight A’s, top college, top job, and making a lot of money. Dr. Tim Jordan explains why it is more important to ask the WHY and HOW you go to college rather than WHERE before you send your kids to college.
SHOWNOTES:

• Learn how to ask girls why they love what they do, i.e. color, draw, soccer, and theater, then reflect on their feelings and thoughts so they internalize them as their intrinsic motivation.
• Supporting their intrinsic motivation throughout childhood sets kids up to think for themselves and go inward to know what’s best for them.
• What matters are “how well you use the university you go” and “what you demand of it.” Focus on using those years to come of age, bust out of your comfort zone, try new subjects and activities, reinvent yourself, travel abroad vs. recreate your high school experience, expand yourself, and be open to change and growth.
• What is harder to measure but far more important is a young adult’s level of grit, optimism, integrity, people skills, street smarts, stamina, determination, engagement in jobs or internships or hobbies and passions; thus, be aware of what you are focusing on and where you put your energy.
• Teach your kids that WHY they are choosing a college is more important than where they end up. “HOW they do their college experience” is also more valuable than the name of the university. Have the courage to swim against the tide of parents and an educational system obsessed with the elite college myth.
• Encourage teens to be the architect of their college experience, do it their way & for their reasons & focus less on names across sweatshirts.
• Invictus, William Ernest Henley
• It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.

Go to Dr. Jordan’s website right now and order his book, Letters From My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom For a Life Worth Living, and give it to your teenager or young adult for more insights into finding their calling and creating the life they were meant to live.
It is available in both print or e-book formats, Kindle and Print versions.

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Listen in as expert Kirsten Karchmer discusses how to help girls better understand their periods & how to better manage them; BTW, boys need this education too Show Notes: Guest: Kirsten Karchmer: Kirsten is an … Menstruation 2.0: How to educate girls about their periods Read More »